talking it over Answers by Dr. Clyde M . Narramore
Dr. Clyde M. Narramore, graduate of Columbia Uni versity, New York City, is a psychologist and Consultant in Research and Guidance with one of the largest school systems in America.
pastor and he said that rather than to have her ill-will and disapproval, we had better let her go ahead and get married. Well, she has been married about six months now and she and her husband are not getting along well at all. In fact, we have learned that he has stolen a number of things. Surely the law will catch up with him. We told her that if she wanted to come home she could. Last Saturday she phoned asking us to come and get her. But while she was packing her clothes, she broke down and decided not to come home with us after all. Please suggest what we should do. A. The marriage contract is bind ing. It means she must live with her husband all her life. It is your responsibility now to let her do it. I am sure that you see the im portance of having your daughter become a mature woman. However, if you bring her home to live with you, this will not solve her prob lems. It will not help her grow up. And although it may seem hard to do, it will undoubtedly be best for you and your husband to let her work out her own difficulties in her marriage. After she has lived with her husband for a number of years, even though it may not be too pleasant, she will certainly become a more mature person. I see no solution to the problem by interfer ing and bringing your daughter home to live with you. The Bible teaches that “The way of the transgressor is hard.” Since she has willfully and knowingly made this mistake, it is up to her to suffer the consequences. It is a hard way to learn a lesson but
through it she may be drawn closer to the Lord. Of course you do have a responsi bility to her in that you should pray for her. Also counsel with her if she asks for your suggestions. However, in talking with her, be sure to put her on her own in this problem and help her to grow spir itually to the extent that she can live victoriously amid an unhappy situation. Pray too that her hus band may be won to the Lord. How Early Sex Education? Q. At what age should parents be gin telling their children about sex? I am now a young mother of two children, but I didn’t know how babies were bom until I was almost 18 years old. At that time a fine Christian couple explained it to me. However, it seems that this could have been cleared in my mind many years before. A. Research studies show children usually ask their first questions about sex between the ages of two and five. I suggest that you answer your child’s questions simply and directly. Don’t go any deeper than the child’s question. For example when a child asks where babies come from, tell him that a baby grows inside the mother until it is big enough to live in the outside world. A little later on he may ask further ques tions. At that time give him more complete answers. Mrs. Narramore and I have re cently written a book on this sub ject. It is entitled How to Tell Your Children About Sex. I am sure that you will find it helpful. It is avail able at all Christian bookstores.
Mixed Marriages Q. Would you please discuss the subject of intermarriage of differ ent nationalities. Are we not all the sons of Adam and Noah? A. It is true that God is no respect er of persons. Christ died to save the whole world — the black and the yellow as well as the white man. However, differences in cultures and races do present serious hin drances to a successful marriage. This can be explained by the fact that such differences usually mean differences in tastes, differences in beliefs and differences in habits. N a t u r a l l y , marriage partners must cooperate if they are to be happy. But it is impossible for them to cooperate if they disagree in their opinions, desires, tastes, beliefs and habits. A couple from different cultures may fall in love and overlook their differences long enough to get mar ried but as time goes on it becomes apparent that basically, their dif ferences in backgrounds are so marked that they have a most un happy situation. When those from different races marry, an additional burden of un acceptance is placed upon both the married partners and eventually upon their children. Family Trouble Q. We are a Christian family and we have tried to bring our daughter up in the things of the Lord. How ever, when she was in her mid teens she began to rebel and turn against Him. When she was 16 she met a young man she wanted to marry. We warned her against it but she insisted. We talked it over with our
The King's Business/October 1958
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