King's Business - 1961-04

talking it over with Dr. Clyde M. Narramore

Dr. Narramore, graduate of Columbia University, New York City, is a psychologist and Consultant in Research and Guidance with one of the largest school systems in the United States.

lieve, too, that you would benefit from reading my book, This Way to Hap­ piness. It not only deals with spiritual concerns, but it discusses psychological problems. You will undoubtedly gain insight as you find yourself in the book. WHAT'S WRONG? Question: Can you tell me whafs wrong with my devotions? I read the Bible, but I don’t get much out of what I’ve read. It doesn’t seem to have sufficient meaning for me; so I’ve just stopped having devotions. I know the Lord personally, but I wish my devotional life were better. I would also like to lead others to Christ. How can I make my Bible reading more meaningful? Answer: To get the best results from time spent in the Word, you should pray before you read. Ask God to speak to you. I suggest you limit your reading to about one chapter at a time. Then mark the most SIGNIFI­ CANT verses in red pencil. When you have finished a chapter, go back and review the verses that you have marked. Also write out a verse and memor­ ize it. If convenient, pin the written verse, for example, on the curtain above the kitchen sink so that you will see it throughout the day. You will be surprised how quickly you can memorize God’s Word. For the week-end, go back and REVIEW all of the verses marked during the week. How should you choose the portion of scripture for each day? I suggest you have two readings a day, one from the New Testament and one from the Old. You might like to start with a chapter from the book of John and one from the book of Psalms. Try this plan for a few weeks and you will notice a definite improvement in your devotional life.

MOTHER'S LOVE? Question: / am in desperate need of help. I am the mother of three, rang­ ing in age from 1 to 7 years. 1 have been a Christian for several years. This problem concerns my relation­ ship with my seven-year-old son. He is a bright, happy, active boy with a beautiful smile and the biggest, bluest eyes ever. He is good, obedient, and has accepted the Lord as his Savior. But I hate him more than I love him. Everything he does infuriates me. I don’t appreciate the things he does, I only magnify his shortcomings. He has to be perfect. Why, I don’t know! I get so mad at him when he can’t get something in his lessons that I scream at him, call him stupid and beat him and kick him all over. 1 just have such a hard time. Why do I expect so much from him? 1 have al­ ways had a bad temper, but have very little trouble with it except where he is concerned. I get so angry and full of hate for him that I know in my heart that I am capable of killing him. W e are strict with all the children, and they are good and happy. Outside of these feelings cropping up more and more often, we treat them all alike, and they seem well adjusted. But it terrifies me to think what I am doing to this child of God that I have been given to raise for the Lord. I am ruining his life with my sin, and ruining my relationship with the Lord. I’m turning into a screeching, slugging fishwife instead of the sweet saint I want to be in their memories when they are grown. There are times when I almost feel I could walk out and never come back. But I realize I can’t do that and yet at times I feel they would all be much better off without me. Please help me. I know I should be able to commit it to the Lord and that should be enough. But I can’t.

Thank you for bearing with me through this lengthy letter. It is all so long and complicated. The Lord bless you in your work. W ith confidence in your wisdom, I remain. . . . Answer: You may feel that you are the only person who has feelings of hatred toward a child. But, may I assure you that my mailbox is con­ tinually filled with letters containing such admissions. There are many people who, because of various rea­ sons, hold deep resentments toward children, and often wish they could destroy them. In fact, occasional feel­ ings of resentment probably come to all of us. But they are not strong, nor do they persist. But your feelings have reached such alarming proportions that you need professional help. This is a form of mental illness known as psychoneurosis. It has undoubtedly come as a result of certain persistent experiences which you had in child­ hood and during the adolescent years. As you receive professional help from a psychologist or psychiatrist, you will find the causes of your feel­ ings. Through adequate discussion of them, these bizarre feelings will be­ gin to lose their power and you will feel differently. Such counseling ses­ sions once a week may extend over a period of several months. You may also need medical care. Besides your family physician, a neu­ rologist would undoubtedly be of special assistance. He need not bp a Christian to diagnose the physical causes and give you help. Naturally, you need to draw close to Christ and devote yourself com­ pletely to him. You should set up a devotional time once or twice a day when you can read God’s Word and pray. However, this may be difficult to do until you have first received physical or psychological help. I be­

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