IS IT LOVE? Question: / am a Christian and. am very much interested in the Lord and in ' His work. I am thirty-six years of age and am a single woman. 1 have always desired to marry and have prevailed upon the Lord to send the right one into my life. Recently I met a man that I’m sure God has designed to be my mate. I work in a factory as a librarian, and this man is a fore man. The fact is, Dr. Narramore, that I have fallen very much in love with him and I know my love is returned. But we have had a peculiar romance thus far, because when he is in my presence, he is so nervous he can hardly talk to me or stay with me very long-. W e have not even dated because he is not able to carry on a conversation very long because of this odd con dition. M y brother laughs and says l sure must have a strange effect on him. But, Dr. Narramore, I no longer consider the situation funny — it’s heartbreaking because l love him and want to be with him and share his life. He has shown his love for me in very many ways and has even left flowers at my doorstep anonymously, but I don’t want his flowers and en couraging signs of love. I want him. What can I do to bring him out of this? Do you suppose that since he has been a bachelor all of these years, love has struck him a harder blow than he can face? M y heart aches so much even as I write you. To face life without him would be too much to bear because my love for him is so deep. He is unsaved and I have not even had an opportunity to testify to him of Christ. When he started out paying me his little attentions, he was not as nervous as he is now. The condition has worsened. I might add, too, Dr. Narramore, l
could never marry this man, even though l do care for him, if he does not accept Christ. But I would like at least to have the opportunity. Can you help me? Answer: I can understand your deep feelings and you are certainly right in seeking help. This situation is very complex and it requires much personal and detailed discussion. You should contact someone in whom you have confidence, such as a fine gospel minister, then talk this problem through in several sessions. If you know of a bom again psychologist in your area, he too, of course, would be an excellent person to see. Until you get this kind of profes sional help, may I encourage you in the statement that you made: “ I could never marry this man, even though I do care for him, if he does not accept Christ.” The Bible teaches, of course, that we should not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. And yet you are walking into just such a trap. Your feelings are evidently so strong for this man that if he should en courage you at all, there is a likeli hood that you would marry him whether he is a Christian or not. Part of your problem undoubtedly is a spiritual one. Dating non-Christians is a path that leads to marrying a non- Christian. May I suggest that you devote your self each day to reading God’s Word and praying. God will then begin to speak to you about the danger of dating someone who is not a bom again believer. It is altogether pos sible that after you have grown spiritually, God will lead you to some one who loves the Lord Jesus Christ and whom you could consider as a marriage partner. You have raised the question about this man being struck an especially hard blow by cupid. No, I don’t think this is the case at all. If he is a man thirty or forty years of age and a fore
man in his place of business, and, as you say elsewhere, a college graduate, I believe the causes are other than being struck a hard blow by cupid. You say, “ I don’t want his flowers and encouraging signs of love; I want him” . When you are in the right place spiritually, God will give you the de sires of your heart. Until then, you are likely to get only your own desires — then reap a terrible tragedy. Do get spiritual counsel from your minister soon. WHAT ABOUT DANCING? Question. The public schools and the YMCA in this area are putting major emphasis on the importance and ad vantages of social dancing. What is a sane, sensible approach to this problem? Answer. You have put your finger on one of the subtle evils of our day — social dancing. As you know, it leads to other vices. It throws a person in with a godless crowd. It weakens one’s testimony. It breaks fellowship with God. It definitely leads to other types of immorality, and it does not draw a young person to Christ. The best approach to the problem is to get young people genuinely saved, in the Word, fellowshipping with other believers, in camps, attending Christian colleges and Bible Institutes. The home and church should both teach plainly the evils of dancing. Young people themselves are re sponding to my book Young Only Once. It discusses the twelve major interests of young people. Some teenagers go to dances be cause their parents and their church do not provide many Christian social times. Young people want and need plenty of activity. So the wise parent or pastor will .set up a strong program of fun and fellowship that is Christ- centered. When teenagers are busy in Christian activities, dancing will fade away.
OCTOBER, 1959
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