E v e r y t h i n k i n g p e r s o n knows that something has gone wrong with sex as we know it. A disruption has taken place, and the consequence is disorder and confusion in the sexual lives of men and women. The Bible records with profound significance that the fall of mankind through disobedience and rebellion was ac companied, not only by the consciousness of guilt, but also by the awareness of nakedness, which became em barrassing after the entrance of sin. “The eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves aprons” (Genesis 3:7). Interrogated by God, Adam con fesses; “I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.” The experience of sin marks the end of innocence; in the realm of sexuality, it manifests itself in self-conscious ness and shame. No part of man’s life is exempt from the evil entail of sin: man’s sexual life, like his intellectual life and his religious life, is spoiled and soiled and subject to sin. It is necessary to stress, against those who would deify sex, that it is neither less corrupted than any other part of man’s being, nor, against those who would make
This is not its sole purpose nor is it its main purpose, but it is certainly one of its purposes. “To avoid fornica tion,” he adds, “let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband . . . Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that you may give yourself to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency” (7:2-5). What the Apostle enjoins on both husband and wife is mutual consideration. What he urges is a deference to, a sympathetic concern for, the desires and wishes of the other. To our sophisticated ears, the residual legatees of a democratic civilization, this advice may sound trite and commonplace; it was startling and revolutionary ad vice to those to whom Paul wrote. The position of women in the ancient world was one of real subjection and social inferiority. A Jew thanked God daily that he had not been created a Gentile, a slave, or a woman. In Graeco-Roman society a woman was not a companion but a chattel. Demosthenes cynically observed: “We have courtesans for the sake of pleasure; we have wives for the purpose of having children legitimately, and of having a faithful guardian for all our household affairs.” The
sex the fount and origin of all sin, is it more corrupted. Because of sin, sex, like every other part of man’s being, needs redemption. The Bible contains emphatic warnings against the abuse and misuse of sex. “Be not deceived,” Paul writes to the citizens of the most notoriously profligate city of ancient antiquity. “Be not deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind . . shall inherit the king dom of God” (I Cor. 6:9-19). The Christian ideal, it is clear, is continence before marriage and fidelity after marriage. “This is the will of God, even your sanctifica tion, that ye should abstain from fornication” (I Thess. 4:3). Sex Within Marriage The liberty which the Christian man enjoys within marriage is not to be construed as legalized lust. St. Paul continues: “This is the will of God . . . that every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctifica tion and honor; not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God” (I Thess. 4:3-5). There is a healthy realism in Paul: he knows that all men have not the gift of continence and that an enforced celibacy may hinder and not help the achievement of sanctity, so that “it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion” (I Cor. 7:9). It is not without interest that it is often those who are most insistent on realism in literature who take the most vigorous exception to the blunt forthrightness of Paul’s advice. Marriage, he teaches, is the divinely-ordained prophylactic against sin.
Greeks kept their wives in absolute seculsion (a married woman could never appear on the street alone and could not have her meals in the apartments of the men), and at the same time, husbands sought their real pleasures in relationships outside of marriage. Parenthood and Birth Control Christians believe that those who enjoy the delights of marriage should also accept, with a sense of due respon sibility, its disciplines. Parenthood is both a joy and a burden, a privilege and a responsibility. Christians will not selfishly seek to evade this inestimable privilege except for the most weighty reasons. “Not to rear up children,” said Clement of Alexandria bluntly, “is to dissolve states and society and is an unmanly evasion of responsibility.” It is easy to rationalize our repudiation of God’s command on the ground of other responsibilities and pressing preoccupations. We all, in our selfishness and sin, reveal an astonishing ingenuity in finding good reasons for bad actions. In thinking about the question of the number of children they hope to have, a Christian couple will take into account their ability to meet the material demands of providing for and educating each successive child. For the achievement of healthy development, what is re quired is a home in which there is love and security. Christian parents know that emotional security is just as important as material security. This means that the relationship between husband and wife needs to be resilient, a happy relationship of genuine give and take.
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