K IN G 'S BU S IN E S S C H R IS T IA N H O M E FEATURE
when
to
by Erich F. Brauer
a while.” This is what God would impress upon parents, “You may hold him for a while, but hold him for Me, he is Mine, I have chosen you as his caretaker.” Ellen Jagow in Guiding the Young Child, says: “We do not have our little ones ‘to have and to hold,’ but ‘to have and to mold.’ . . . We should consider them a ‘trust’ and not a ‘possession to satisfy our own ambitions and pride.’ ” If children in the home belong to God, then parents owe the Lord an accounting of the children committed to their care; they are responsible to God for the way they train them. Conscious of this trusteeship, the pri mary purpose of all discipline will always be the whole some Christian growth of their children. Overindulgence Involves Dangers There are those who advise, “never say no.” They believe the child will develop best in an atmosphere of complete freedom. But permitting the child to do as he pleases may actually prove very hurtful to him. Children lack the necessary knowledge and experience to make wise decisions. When our God directs, “Train up a child in the way he should go,” He thereby clearly implies that the child would not know that way without guid ance. Eli of Old Testament Bible times (I Sam. 2:22-26) is a glaring example of what parents may expect when children are given complete freedom. Parents’ concern for the physical safety of their chil dren will prompt them to exercise a restraining influence. Dr. Thompson observes that parents, who are mindful of the dangers of our machine age, have taught their chil dren the meaning of an “emergency tone,” to which they must respond with prompt obedience. The intellectual growth of children is stunted in the home where diligent application to school studies is left optional. Many a successful student has given primary credit to parents who insisted that he work hard and not follow the line of least resistance. Over-permissiveness in the home is fraught with social problems for the child. If in early childhood, when he is extremely self-centered, we permit him to do as he wish es, and never require that he adhere to definite rules of conduct, he will find it hard in later life to adjust to people, will tend to be willful, arrogant, domineering, ill-
M a n y p a r e n t s w i s h for children of good, sound, Chis- tian character. This is highly commendable, of course. There is only one fault with it — they just wish. They do very little to make their children what they wish them to be. Christian character is never built by wish ing. Christian discipline must be applied to help chil dren develop habits of behavior which are acceptable to God and which will help them adjust to society. A poem entitled “A Teacher Speaks,” by Alice Gay Judd, sums it up rather forcefully: I must not interfere with any child, I have been told, To bend his will to mine, or try to shape him through some mold Of thought. Naturally, as a flower he must unfold. Yet flowers have the discipline of wind and rain, And though I know it gives the gardner much pain, I’ve seen him use his pruning shears to gain More strength and beauty for some blossoms bright. And he would do whatever he thought right To save his flowers from a deadening blight. Suggestions for child discipline have run the gamut from “never say no” to “say no as often as possible.” A subject like “When to Say No” produces humility; and perhaps no final and complete answer can be given. But the question does suggest a number of important consid erations for every Christian parent. God Made Parents Trustees of Their Children God holds both patent and copyright on everything we have, especially also our children. ‘Children are a heri tage of the Lord,” says the psalmist (Ps. 127:3ff.). The special seal of divine ownership was stamped upon them in baptism. A mother attending a parents’ meeting had brought her little baby with her. After the meeting a friend came up to her and, reaching out his arms, said, “May I have your little boy?” “No,” countered the moth er, “you may not have him, but you may hold him for I do not know—yet it does seem to me That only weeds unfold just naturally.
THE KING'S BUSINESS
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