. . magic ingredients to lure the opposite sex.’’
two skills, (1) the ability to encourage the other person to talk, and (3) the ability to keep up your part of the conversation. Actually, very few people are good con versationalists because they want to do all the talking themselves. They are so taken up with their own inter ests that they forget to keep their focus on their date and what he or she is interested in. Equally important as being a good listener is the ability to contribute to the conversation yourself. Gwen, for example, was a quiet, shy girl who was unusually pretty. Boys asked her for dates — but only once. You see, she didn’t understand the importance of doing any talking. Her stock in trade were words like “yes” and “no.” Naturally these monosyllabic words left her date out in right field. Tied in closely with conversation is a happy, joyful attitude. As you talk, the one you are dating will soon notice whether your conversation is positive or negative. If it is critical and gossipy, you will soon be avoided, but if it is optimistic and happy, you can almost count on a second date if you want it. What about your conversation? Do you encourage the other person to talk? Do you keep up your part of the conversation? And do you leave a positive impression? You will become more desirable if you improve your ability to converse. INFORMATION In this space age, people are especially sensitive to knowledge. They know a great deal and they want to know more. They enjoy being with people who are in formed. What is more boring than to date someone, then find that he (or she) doesn’t know much? And for the Christian, there is a great body of knowledge which is available through the Word of God. Beside keeping abreast of world events and learning what one can in school, the Christian fellow or girl should be an inspira tion through his (or her) knowledge of the things of God. SPIRITUALITY Your greatest asset in any situation is a right rela tionship to God. As a born-again Christian, you will al ways be in demand if you love the Lord and are living close to Him. Spirituality is important because it fills the greatest need in every life — fellowship and communion with God. Many married couples say that they were first attracted to each other because, among other qualities, they recognized that the other was a spiritual person. There is no substitute for a close walk with the Lord. And your spiritual vitality influences every other area of your life. Spirituality is not a lacquer that automatically coats one who attends church and associates with Christian friends. Naturally, church attendance and Christian fel lowship are of great value. But spiritual depth comes from a close, daily communion with God. This means daily devotions — a time when you read God’s Word and when you earnestly pray. It also calls for witnessing to others about the Saviour who means so much to you. As you surrender daily to God, He will give you an inner wholesomeness and beauty that will radiate to all whom you meet. This indeed is the most important ele ment of life. A successful dater! Not a person with a bag of tricks or a clever “line.” Rather, a genuine person who loves the Lord.
enjoy it; others date very seldom and are just as happy, while others are just “dying” for dates, but the boys us ually pass them by. What makes a person a successful dater? What’s the magic that lures the opposite sex? What causes some fel lows and girls to be highly desirable? One thing is certain: people aren’t bom good daters. They become that way. As boys and girls grow up, many of them develop the necessary qualities that attract oth ers. If you were to study a large number of young people, you would find that the successful daters all have several characteristics in common. Interestingly enough, these qualities are not just “dating” traits. They are ones that attract anyone, young or old, male or female. COURTESY High on the list of desirable characteristics is cour tesy. Others are always attracted to one who has polite, kindly ways. Why is this? Because people have feelings, and courtesy takes people’s feelings into account. Many people have been shoved around considerably. They have run into rough people with rough ways. So when they come into contact with someone who is sensitive to their feelings, they are impressed. There are two ways to go through life, either smooth ly, or rough-shod. The smooth approach produces a velvet response, while a rough approach usually brings a nega tive retort. The person who is liked best is one who ob serves common courtesies. People will overlook lacks in ability, appearance, and knowledge. But they cannot disregard poor manners. Bad manners spoil everything, even reason and justice. It behooves all of us to take inventory of the way we treat people, even in little things. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Good manners are made up of little sacrifices.” Courtesy is actually a form of thoughtfulness. Considerate people are always well-liked. The one who is courteous and thoughtful always wins others over to his side. APPEARANCE “If I were only as pretty as Linda,” thought Ger trude, “I’d have a lot of boy friends, too. It isn’t fair for some people to be so good-looking, while others are so homely or plain.” Many people have felt just like Gertrude. They lay the blame for their lack of popularity on the fact that they are not good-looking. But such complaints are us ually cover-ups. True, people are attracted to those who make a nice appearance. But people are more interested in how you make them feel than they are in how you look. Your nose may be too long or too short, your hair may be too this or too that, your features may not fit together as well as they might; but people will soon look beyond your features to the kind of person you are. And if they find a wonderful person, they won’t think of measuring your nose, your waist, your feet, or your ears. As long as you, a fine person, are neat and appro priately dressed, they will want to spend time with you. CONVERSATION A fellow likes to date a girl (or a girl a boy) who is an interesting conversationalist. The ability to talk and chat about various things is important, because it is the way two people communicate their feelings and ideas. Being a good conversationalist hinges pretty well on
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