As is common for most people working in this space, we get involved in it because there is a familiarity, a need to fight this war either from personal experience or because of the experiences of someone close to us. LET’S TAKE A STEP BACK For me, it was a personal experience. I had been a victim of ‘sexual abuse' from the age of 5 to the age of 19. This term, ‘sexual abuse’ softens things far too much. No, I was not a victim of sexual abuse at the age of five, it was rape. Weirdly enough I count myself as fortunate because I was not anally raped but rather, I was orally raped. It’s still beyond me as to why a woman in her late thirties would want to do that to a 5-year-old boy, but I can only guess at the state of mind that drove her. Again, at the ages of 8 and 9 I was molested by two different men on different occasions and at 12 raped by an older woman. This time I was made to penetrate her, and society would have me believe that I was lucky to have received this life experience. By this point in my life I believed I was just the local plaything so when a man entered my life at 13, groomed and trapped me till I was 19, it seemed almost normal. I felt I was somehow deserving of this sort of treatment.
I’ve been involved in the GBV sector for nearly 12 years and for all intents and purposes, I’m a relative newcomer to the field. What makes it more interesting is that I am a man. I had the delusion that I would be welcomed in the struggle against GBV but soon discovered that there wasn’t much room for men with a Are we losing the battle against GBVF?
different approach and a different take on the topic. BOY CHILD Seeking help at 16 was an exercise in futility. The rape crisis centre that I finally garnered the courage to enter, had its walls bedecked with images of woman with black eyes and men’s imposing fists in the foreground virtually dripping blood, the tear-filled eyes of the little girls also didn’t tell me that I, a little boy, could possibly be a victim.
Dec 2022 | Collective Action Magazine
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