Ending Life Well: Conversations & Connections
Reflections on Loss: What I Wish I Had Known By Alex Trevino , Caregiving and End of Life Specialist Many have faced the difficult experience of losing someone close. In these discussing end of life wishes. Engaging in these conversations allows for a greater sense of closure and less uncertainty when difficult decisions arise. “I wish I had learned about palliative care and hospice sooner.”
moments, we often navigate emotional and logistical challenges we had not anticipated. Those who reflect on these experiences share a common desire to have been more informed and better prepared. “I wish I had been more prepared for the emotional roller coaster.” Grief is not a straightforward process. It is normal to feel a wide range of emotions — sometimes all at once. From profound sadness to disbelief, grief can include anger, numbness, loneliness, or deep sorrow. Seeking emotional support early on, through counseling or support groups, can ease the burden and provide tools for managing the depth and complexity of grief. “I wish I had known more about the natural changes during the dying process.” Witnessing physical changes of someone nearing death can be unsettling. Changes in breathing, loss of appetite (for food and water), skin appearance, and altered consciousness are common as the body shuts down. Knowing these changes are part of the natural process offers reassurance and reduces stress during an emotional time. “I wish I hadn’t avoided the difficult conversations.” Talking openly about unresolved matters, dying, and death can be uncomfortable, but it often represents a big regret. Many people wish they had shared more openly with their loved one — expressing their feelings, sharing memories, and
Palliative care and hospice focus on providing comfort, symptom management, and emotional support, often making the dying process more peaceful for both the individual and their family. Understanding the benefits of palliative care and hospice brings a sense of relief, increases understanding, and makes the experience less overwhelming. “I wish I had been more prepared for the logistics after death.” After a loved one passes, there are many decisions that have to be made quickly, from moving the body to starting funeral arrangements. Preparing for these steps — such as obtaining death certificates and closing accounts — can ease the burden during hard times. “I wish I had been more familiar with End of Life Care Planning and Advance Directives.” Without Advance Directives, family members may have to make difficult decisions about medical treatments, disposition, and organ donation without clear guidance. Preparing these documents ahead of time alleviates confusion, reduces stress, and ensures that your loved one’s wishes are honored. By being better informed about the emotional, physical, and logistical aspects of death, families can navigate with greater confidence and less stress. PCOA offers resources to assist with End of Life Care Planning, including help completing Advance Directives. Please call the PCOA
Helpline at (520) 790-7262. With preparedness in mind, our next two articles will serve as guiding tools and checklists for End of Life Planning and what to do after the death of a loved one.
Shaaron Kent Endowment held at the Community Foundation for Southern Arizona
November/December 2024, Never Too Late | Page 19
Pima Council on Aging
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