TALKING ABOUT ALCOHOL Here are examples: A teen comes home from a party and has clearly been drinking. The parent is angry and says, “You’re grounded indefinitely. When you’re not in school, you will be at home.” This consequence is set arbitrarily in the heat of the moment and may not even be possible to enforce. Another way the parent might respond would be to say, “I’m very disappointed with you. We had agreed that there would be no drinking until you are 21. We will talk about this in the morning.” The next day, the parent might say, “As you know, you violated a very important family rule. Drinking is very dangerous for you. Therefore, as we agreed before, there will be serious consequences. For the next month, you will not be allowed to use the family car and your
Emphasize to teens how quickly drinking can lead to dangerous results. That’s why you take underage drinking so seriously.
curfew will be 9:00 instead of 11:00. I hope that after the month has passed, we will both feel more confident in your ability to follow the rules of this family.” In this example, the consequences were previously established and are discussed after the parent’s initial disappointment in the teen has subsided.
Does the Penalty Fit? It’s best for consequences to match the “crime.” Small violations of family rules deserve mild punishment; serious violations deserve tougher penalties. For example, you could consider curbing a teen’s privileges, like driving, curfew, phone rights, or computer access. Evaluate the situation, and as a parent, set an appropriate consequence.
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