Get Used to Disappointment by Brian Buck
During The Princess Bride ’s epic sword fight scene, Inigo Montoya asks his opponent, Westley, who he is. Westley responds, “No one of consequence.” Not satisfied, Inigo pleads, “I must know,” to which Westley replies with a life lesson: “Get used to disappointment.” Little did Westley know, that’s exactly what all negotiators must overcome — disappointment. Every negotiator walks into a negotiation with expectations and, at some point, faces the reality that so does the other side. How dealmakers navigate their own expectations will have a tremendous impact on the outcome of their negotiation, including whether they’re satisfied or disappointed. Years ago, I developed the retail marketing strategy for the launch of a new cell phone provider. We tested the strategy in a few markets, and it worked very well — quite frankly, even better than I’d expected. So much so that the client rolled out the strategy nationwide. They were able to replicate the success we had in the pilot and, building on that success, they were eventually bought by a large provider. My piece in the journey wasn’t the sole reason for their success, but it was a critical component to their growth. That said, imagine my surprise when, shortly after the nationwide rollout, they wanted to take
would lavish us with praise and pay us whatever was necessary for the honor of being our client. I didn’t feel that it was unreasonable — OK, maybe the latter scenario was a little unreasonable — to think that way. Unfortunately, my expectations of them poisoned our relationship. I couldn’t fight the resentment. I felt like I was owed something, and they needed to do more for us. Eventually, we lost them as a client. What I failed to realize was that they had expectations, too, and neither of us expressed those expectations to each other.
our relationship out to bid. I was shocked and angry. After all, it was my strategy that ignited their growth. We had done everything right for them, and then some, and they wanted to take our relationship out to bid?! Why was I angry? Expectations. Needless to say, I had a hard time controlling my emotions. I felt slighted. I expected that if I did good work for them, then they would continue as our client. And if I went above and beyond, then they
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