Negotiation Obstacles by Brian Buck
• Let go of your ego. I like to think of myself as a people person, and it can bug me when I can’t make a connection with someone. Instead of letting that derail the deal, I’ll sometimes hand over the negotiation to someone else who can better connect. After all, is it more important to connect or get the deal?
One of my favorite sayings is, “Don’t let your obstacles become your excuses.” Obstacles arise in every negotiation, and they’re frequently the reason for why an outcome did or didn’t occur. How much of a role an obstacle plays in an outcome, however, relates to how well you deal with it. The most common negotiation obstacles that I see can be broken down into three categories: personality obstacles, logical obstacles, and issue obstacles. A personality obstacle relates to the behavior of the individual you’re negotiating with. A logical obstacle is one in which you’re struggling to understand their reasoning, or they’re struggling to understand yours. An issue obstacle is one where you can’t seem to come together on an issue. In many cases, you might be dealing with more than one obstacle type, but let’s discuss some techniques for potentially overcoming each type in order to get to better deals. Personality Obstacles We’re not going to get along with everyone. I’ve met some people who seem to be able to do that, but even they run into folks they can’t make a connection with. Personality conflicts can derail a negotiation. If you find yourself in this situation, you might consider taking one of the following steps: • Let the deal be your connector. The reality is, you’re both there for a reason — presumably you both want a deal. If there’s nothing else you’ve been able to build rapport around, let the deal be the connector for your temporary partnership. When things get awkward, bring it back to the deal to remind each other why you’re there. • Bring a team with you. There’s strength in numbers. Having just one extra individual on your side can help you shift the focus away from your personality obstacle. Select someone who’s not like you — someone whose personality complements yours. For instance, I’m typically the outgoing, talkative type, which means I should bring in someone who’s a little more reserved in order to create balance.
Don’t let your obstacles become your excuses!
Logical Obstacles These can be frustrating. Running into a logical obstacle can make you feel like you’re talking with someone who thinks the sky is green and grass is blue. Logical obstacles can also be huge time-wasters, as you attempt to get the other side to see the world your way. The next time you hit this roadblock, you might want to try one of these techniques: • Stop arguing, start investigating. There’s no sense in continuing to debate about who’s right and who’s wrong. Instead, start asking lots of questions to understand how they got to their viewpoint. This will help you find handles you can use to move the conversation forward. • Make a bet on who’s right. If your logical issue has to do with two potential outcomes ( e.g. , they think X will happen while you think Y will happen), then place a bet on both. If your logic is right, then you’ll both do it your way; if your logic is wrong, then you’ll both do it their way. • Agree to disagree. If a logical obstacle isn’t central to the negotiation, then agree to disagree and move on. If need be, you
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