The Gift of Receiving A re you the kind of person who is primarily a giver or a taker? If you’re a giver, you probably feel compelled to give to others. Having to ask others for help because you’re growing old, sick, or are handicapped is probably a hard pill for you to swallow. You hate it. While this may also come as a blow to your pride, do you realize that receiving can also be a form of giving ? Were you to look back over the years of your life, I bet there have been many people who wanted to give to you, but you, being the giver you are, found it hard to receive from them.—True? Well, now is your opportunity to allow them to give to you, especially those to whom you have given so much. You can now give them the gift of giving, by being willing to receive their love and help. The apostle Paul in the New Testament wrote, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). This verse implies that bearing each other’s burdens is a two-way street. You bear theirs. They bear yours. Now it is your turn to receive. Allow me to address two areas where it is imperative that you allow others to bear your burdens. The first is emotionally. People are not mind readers. How can they help you bear your emotional burdens—the fear, the discouragement, the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, the anger, the shame, the regrets, the guilt, the humiliation—unless you share those feelings with them? Do you remember your mother or grandmother having an old pressure cooker with the lock-lid and the little pressure release valve on top? Unless the cooker lets off steam, it will explode. Emotions are a lot like that pressure cooker. You don’t want to hold your feelings in until you explode or have a breakdown. The ideal way is to let off the pressure a little bit at a time, so the pressure inside is manageable. What am I saying? Don’t hold your feelings in. Share them with others.
According to the Bible, as you allow others to bear your burdens, you are fulfilling the very law of Christ. Plus, how do you expect others to share their burdens with you if you never share your burdens with them? By sharing your burdens, you give them permission to share their burdens with you.— Remember, what you don’t share, you keep. Where and how do you start? What do you say?—How about telling a trusted friend, “Do you have a minute? I’ve been feeling (fill in the blank: scared, tired, hurt, angry, worried, overwhelmed, etc.) and I just need you to listen. I’m not looking for advice. I know there are no easy answers, but will you let me get some stuff off my chest?”—Pick this person wisely. The last thing you want is to pick someone who is a gossip, or who’ll give you a bunch of pat answers, try to “fix” you, or will tell you, “Snap out of it.” There is a second area where you can allow others to give to you, and that is physically. Maybe you’ve come to the place where others are having to feed you, or, God forbid, change your Depends (diapers). How humiliating! On a feeling level, it can’t get much worse than that. It is at this point that most givers lose it and become depressed. Why? Because behind most givers are the hidden feelings: “I must give love in order to receive love.” “I’m unworthy to receive others’ love.” You become anxious if you can’t give. I know—these are the feelings I’ve struggled with all my life. But is that the law of Christ? No? Christ was both a giver and a receiver. Read the New Testament and notice how many times Jesus allowed others to give to him: meals, free lodging, anointing his head with oil, washing his feet, and even carrying the cross which had become too burdensome for him to carry.—My point? Jesus knows what you are going through, and he has modeled for you that it is OK to receive. And do you know what? His love for you doesn’t change one bit. In fact, as you are able to begin receiving from others, with no way of paying them back; maybe, for the first time in your life, God’s unconditional love will
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