Confessions of a payroll manager – “Appraisal time”
T here are moments as a payroll the team’s reactions when I make my annual announcement that it’s ‘appraisal time’. Towering Tony seems to shrink a bit as his face sinks into his neck, Evie’s bottom lip starts trembling and Harry gazes thoughtfully into space. Of course, I had no idea how Jace would react – would he even know what an appraisal was? To begin, I led the team in an informal chat about what to expect and how to prepare. I suppose I should’ve expected it, but when I brought up the concept of SMART objectives, Jace immediately jumped on it and asked me what SMART stood for. Now, I’m quite good at acronyms but suddenly that one left me. What did it stand for? Silly managers are relatively terrified? Static monkeys aren’t really tired? I was so thrilled when I remembered manager you can’t help but relish and, call me evil, but I love to watch that I yelled it across the office. Objectives that are specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely – SMART. I felt more comfortable talking about competency frameworks as I’d just Another anonymous episode revealing the world of payroll featuring payroll avatar, Penelope (‘Penny’) Fortham, who is payroll manager at the nation’s favourite biscuit makers Crumbitt’s Confections.
completed some heavy research on them. I suggested everyone research and select a competency to focus on for the next 12 months and swiftly corrected Evie when she asked if she could be tested on her competency in knowing everything about the X Files. The bottom lip started trembling again. So, the appraisals began and the dreaded 1:1s led to some truly excruciating moments. Harry was so nervous and spoke that fast I gave up writing notes, and Evie spent half of the session holding back tears and the other half letting them out. Jace had really pushed the boat out and prepared a PowerPoint, which included clips of Ice Road Truckers and Strictly Come Dancing. I could say he was pandering but, honestly, I was too entertained to feel anything but impressed. After the somewhat traumatic individual meetings, we got together as a team to work collectively in pulling together our achievements of the last year. We created an impressive list, including: ● introducing changes to paternity leave ● successful implementation of the off- payroll working rules ● learning how to send an amended full payment submission as opposed to an earlier year update. The issues arose when we tried to list things to do with customer service and
communication. Evie mumbled something about sensitivity, while Tony loomed over us all shouting about intimidation and volume control. I think we may have some work to do over the next year. The ever-inventive Mr Crumbitt injected some much needed ‘fun’ into the proceedings by creating a veritable smorgasbord of activities for the team to choose from. The Crumbitt’s fun run, organising the Crumbitt Christmas party or the ever-popular option of being involved in a Crumbitt tasting panel. At the end of the appraisal process, we agreed on a performance rating. Always a difficult part as everybody looks for a minimum of seven. A tear in the eye of Evie made me turn my six to a seven at the last moment, and Jace did a lap of honour when I said he was an exemplary apprentice and gave him a ten. So, that’s appraisals over for another year – the team can recover themselves, hopefully refocus and feel justly proud of their achievements over 2020/21. Be well and stay punctilious! o The Editor: Any resemblance to any payroll manager or professional alive or dead, or any payroll department or organisation whether apparently or actually portrayed in this article is simply fortuitous.
| Professional in Payroll, Pensions and Reward | February 2022 | Issue 77 48
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