Conner Marketing's online newsletter for November 2018
NOTES with Jay Conner Success
NOVEMBER 2018
LESSONS LEARNED FROM HURRICANE FLORENCE
H urricane Florence wreaked havoc on our Carolina coast. Torrential wind
“Our entire community, family, and friends have been brought closer together because of this tragedy. It was a blessing in disguise that taught us the power of our collective strength.”
and rain hammered down on our communities, destroying homes, flooding our cities, and devastating lives. It’s been categorized by locals as the worst hurricane in history for Morehead City, and residents are still finding ways to recuperate. But in the midst of devastation and destruction, I watched my community pull together and lead by example just to help others. Hurricane Florence created many opportunities to serve. During times of devastation and great sadness, I’m often reminded of my good friend and mentor, Beulah Raynor. This wise woman lived to be 102 years old, so I always take her pearls of wisdom to heart. Years ago, she gave me a piece of advice that still holds true today. She said, “If you’re feeling down, do something for somebody else.” It will get your mind off of yourself and your own worries. That’s exactly what Hurricane Florence has given us an opportunity to do. Shortly after Florence hit our coast, my wife, Carol Joy, and I decided to help residents in need of supplies. Our church reached out to a nonprofit out of Nashville, Tennessee that specializes in disaster relief, and within a few days, a semi-tractor trailer full of supplies was in our church’s parking lot. It was a daunting amount of supplies, and we wanted to spread the word. We posted on Facebook, and the story appeared on local TV stations. Luckily, we were able to provide items to those struggling to buy food, cleaning supplies, and other daily essentials since the hurricane wiped their resources clean. I don’t tell this story to pat myself, Carol Joy, and our church on the back. It’s just one example of the many ways you can get involved in the aftermath of disaster.
The damage of a home can be too much for some people to repair. Some
homeowners may find it easier to wipe their hands clean of their damaged property and start new with a different home. This opens up the market to a slew of new sellers. But, not everyone is a real estate expert. They don’t understand the intricacies of selling in a damaged area or even how to begin looking again. This is why people rely on experts. On that same token, if there are a bunch of new sellers, there are going to be a load of new buyers. Apartment tenants may use this opportunity to seek home ownership, not wanting to get back into apartment living. Some of the same sellers who decide to start new and sell their home will also be looking to buy something else in the area. For as much damage as we have in the Carolinas, we also have a number of homes that have minor damage and could easily be fixed up and sold. This is where real estate agents and investors can use their talents and expertise to make a big difference: Get involved with these new sellers and buyers and give them honest guidance on how to sell their home after Hurricane Florence.
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'I Can Tell by the TONE of Your VOICE!' Aka Ninja Influence by Tony Pearl
Last month, we talked about the words we use and how powerful they are.
commanding tone. Your tone can be whiny or condescending. Happy or sad.
This month, we're going to take it to the next level.
One of my favorite tonalities to use is one of curiosity. It's so FUN to use a curious tone when talking with someone — especially in a sales situation, because it really engages the listener and activates some really cool psychology. Try it! Here's a little pro tip combined with a mini-script that gets great results in real estate investing. The next time you're talking with a seller about the possibility of doing a terms deal, say this next line with a curious tone when you want to introduce your objective: "What if there was a way that we could ...?" (Then state what you want to do.) The next technique is vocal inflection . That's where we emphasize certain words in order to stress their importance. It's easy to do when writing — just italicize a word. Or put it in ALL capitals. Or make the word you want to stand out bold . But when we're talking, it's important to occasionally emphasize a certain word in your sentence in order to not only get your main point across, but also to vary the cadence of what you're saying so that it's more engaging to the listener. For example, say this sentence out loud: "Bob thinks he's a genius." See how we emphasize the word “thinks”? Now say the same sentence, but emphasize the word “genius.” And one more time, but now emphasize “Bob.” See? Totally different meaning every time! Most of us never ever even think about these subtle conversational nuances. And most people just take them for granted every day. But once you understand these little secrets, you'll quickly start to see why some people are pleasant and effective communicators, while the rest ...? Not so much. Before we go any further, I should point out something important: These “powers” can be used for good or for evil. Should you become interested in learning more and eventually commit yourself to mastering this craft, you'll be able to understand how people use their voice to influence other people by speaking directly to their subconscious minds. This is the part of our brain that determines how we feel, think, and act about things — without even realizing it! But for now, just be aware. Start by listening for it when you watch a movie. Or listen to a news reporter. (They're especially evil these days!) How you use your voice will have a lot to do with how successful you'll be. So, if you really want to have success, and part of that relies on speaking with anyone, you're going to need to master these skills the
There's a famous study that was done a while ago by Dr. Albert Mehrabian, which showed that only 7 percent of our communication is conveyed through words, while 38 percent is through our vocal tonality, and the rest (55 percent) is through “nonverbal elements,” such as your posture, gestures, and facial expressions. Based on what I wrote in my last article, I believe that our words represent a lot more than only 7 percent, but that's not what this article is going to be about. No, in this article, we're going to get into that other stuff — specifically tonality — how we say what we say. Call me crazy for trying to write about something you hear. Obviously, this would be a lot easier for me to demonstrate in a video or on an audio recording. But we don't have that luxury here, so I'll just have to flex my writin' skills! Have you ever watched a movie in another language that you didn't understand? With no subtitles? Did you watch the actors closely? You almost didn't need a translation of what they were saying. You could tell by the tone of their voices who was angry with whom, who was jealous of someone, who wanted to kill the other guy, or who wanted to jump someone's bones! There's a scene in the famous ‘80s movie "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" where a history teacher (played by Ben Stein) is trying to teach a class of uninspired students about economic policy. Not the most exciting, sexy subject to teach, but he made it exceptionally boring by the way he spoke! He had a flat, monotone voice that had very little to no inflection whatsoever. The result? Everyone was asleep or looking at him cross- eyed because they were so bored! What makes a speech interesting? What makes it hard for you to tear yourself away from a good performance by an actor or a powerful motivational speech by public figure? Is it just the subject matter? Or the words they use? Probably not. No, chances are that when you're drawn to someone speaking — about anything — you're probably interested because of the tonality and vocal inflection of their voice ! What the heck is tonality? The easiest, simplest definition is this: the tone of your voice. But it's really a lot more than that. Just by injecting the right emotion into your voice, you can drastically change the entire context and meaning of what you're saying. You can have a
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Be grateful in the midst of adversity.
but we had survived. We lived through a storm that killed people. We have to be grateful for that, and we have to find a way to persevere. Most people have a servant’s heart by nature.
The Sunday after the storm passed, Carol Joy and I were at church Sunday morning. Our preacher, David G. Price, gave a special talk. After the experience of such a destructive storm, we didn’t need a sermon. We needed a talk — something that gave us a personal connection to one another. He reminded us and the congregation that there is nothing in our lives that will be 100 percent bad, and every terrible experience evokes a lesson. The storm was horrible, but it gave us an appreciation for things we took for granted, like hot water and hot meals. He referenced Romans 5: 1–4, which read, “Rejoice in hardship because even hardship in itself brings about blessings because it is hardship that teaches us perseverance.” We have to focus on what’s really important in this life, as our preacher taught us that Sunday, and those important pieces are encompassed by faith, family, and friends. I was once again reminded of how grateful we should be when I went with a gentleman I know to see a FEMA representative after the storm. He and his mother’s home was destroyed, displacing them from their house. A few times during our conversation, the representative said, “Congratulations on being a survivor.” Our homes had been destroyed. Power was cut, and waters ravaged our streets. People were suddenly without human necessities for survival — best you can. And one of the best ways to do that is to mirror the most successful communicators. Especially salespeople. Sell or be sold. That's your choice. And now that you know how the game is played, you finally have the power to choose which side you'll be on. Choose wisely, my friend. So, there you have it! When you use the right words and combine them with great vocal tonality and inflection , you'll have the raw tools needed for some seriously dynamic and powerful communication. With that, you'll be able to influence just about anybody you talk to — often without them even knowing what you're doing. Yes, this can be used for dealing with anyone from sellers, buyers, and bankers to brothers, mothers, and kids, etc. Please use these new “superpowers” responsibly — for good. Because if you don't, you'll have to listen to Ben Stein teach you all about “voodoo economics,” and that's just not sexy at all.
I’ve been amazed in just two weeks since Hurricane Florence. I’ve enjoyed hearing and witnessing stories of our residents helping each other get back to life after this storm. I remember seeing billboards from businesses in our Carteret County that read “Carteret Strong,” referencing strength and encouraging support for our local community. Our entire community, family, and friends have been brought closer because of this tragedy. It was a blessing in disguise that taught us the power of our collective strength. This is a feeling I won’t ever forget and a lesson that has amazed me.
Going forward, I hope we take Hurricane Florence’s lessons with us. What should we do when we’re ravaged with disaster whether physical, emotional or spiritual? In the midst of everything, no matter what’s going on, give thanks, for there is always something to be thankful for. Make sure you find it.
–Jay Conner
Have You Heard the Good News … As it relates to learning lessons?
Psalm 107:28-29 "Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, And He brought them out of their distresses. He caused the storm to be still ..." 1 Peter 5:10 "After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you." Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
Until next time, Tony Pearl
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INSIDE THIS ISSUE
Service, Community, and Gratefulness Post-Hurricane page 1 'I Can Tell by the TONE of Your VOICE!' Aka Ninja Influence page 2 Don't MissThis Exclusive Event! page 4
Register Now at www.JaysLiveEvent.com or call (252) 808-2927 - Meet Jay’s private lenders - Get private money - FREE Rehab Bus Tour (see Jay’s rehabbed homes!) - Meet Jay’s “Dream Team” (his interior designer, contractors, Realtors, real estate attorney, and buying and selling assistants) - VIP reception - Learn Jay’s automation techniques Event Dates: November 5th-7th
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