THIS BAH, HUMBUG DEPT.
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We do not quite forgive a giver. The hand that feeds us is in some danger of being bitten. RalphWaldo Emerson, “Gifts,” Essays, Second Series
“Out upon merry Christmas! What’s Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer... If I could work my will,” said Scrooge indignantly, “every idiot who goes about with ‘Merry Christmas’ on his lips, should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!” Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol Christmas time is here, by golly, Disapproval would be folly, Deck the halls with hunks of holly, Fill the cup and don’t say “when.” Kill the turkeys, ducks, and chickens, Mix the punch, drag out the dickens, Even though the prospect sickens, Brother, here we go again. Tom Lehrer, “A Christmas Carol” A good many things go around in the dark besides Santa Claus. Herbert Hoover, 1935 speech to St. Louis Republican Club Groucho: Oh that’s the usual clause... it says... “If any of the parties participating in this contract are shown not to be in their right mind, the entire agreement is automatically nullified.” Chico: Well, I don't know... Groucho: It’s alright, that’s in every contract! That’s what they call a “sanity clause." Chico: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, you can’t fool me. There ain’t no sanity clause! The Marx Brothers, A Night at the Opera
We three Kings of Orient are Trying to smoke a rubber cigar. It was loaded. It exploded! “Boom!” We two Kings of Orient are... Children’s parody
Never look a gift horse in the mouth. St. Jerome, On the Epistle of Paul the Apostle to the Ephesians
How many observe Christ’s birthday! How few, his precepts! O! ‘tis easier to keep holidays than commandments. Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard’s Almanack I buy myself a gift every year, so this year I bought everything I wanted. Kim Kardashian, interview on CBS San Francisco French girls they want Cartier Italian girls want cars American girls want everything in the world You can possibly imagine The Rolling Stones, “Some Girls”
Merry Christmas, Nearly Everybody Ogden Nash, poem title
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December 2018
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