Bereavement Care - A Guide for Adults Supporting Children

Children at funerals The answer will of course depend on the child. Often our first reaction is to try to spare them an upsetting experience, but attending the funeral may help them to come to terms with the death. It is not advisable to force a child to go if they do not want to, if they want to go then it is usually best to let them. Not being allowed to go may raise all kinds of worries in their mind about what is happening and You may be undecided about whether to allow a child to go to the funeral. why they are being kept away. If you take a child to a funeral it is important to prepare them beforehand by telling them what to expect. Someone close to the child should stay with them throughout the service to comfort them when it is needed.

Memorials It may help the child to identify a “memorial” to the person who has died, especially if they were very close. This doesn’t need to be an ‘official’ memorial but simply a thing or place which can be associated with the deceased. For example, a favourite tree in the garden or seat in the park, a simple keepsake such as a vase or a watch, or a photograph which the child can keep. Opinions vary, but most people believe it is better to help the child remember someone they knew than expect them to forget.

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