positive labels to someone, restricts or restores their options, continues or ceases punitive practices, and makes real reconciliation possible. Hold on to these thoughts about the minefield of desistance as we work through Jesus’ parable about the father and his two sons recorded in Luke 15. The parallels are remarkable. Jesus said, “You want to know what the kingdom of God is like? How things really are and where they’re headed?” He said, “Picture this. Imagine a man with two sons: a younger one and his older brother. The younger son dis- honors and ruptures his family, half-bankrupts them, leaves home for the far country, wastes everything, makes a disaster of his life, and ends up in a pigsty, needy and isolated. He’s smack dab in the middle of a minefield.” And it’s there, in that breakdown moment, that he begins to wake up. Here’s the initial openness to change, the inner conviction. Jesus says that the son “comes to himself.” He comes to his senses, comes to remember his father’s house, comes to remember his father. And, as he does, he gets up out of the pigsty in the country far from home, does a U-turn, and starts to make his way back to his father. This is the turning point. But as he returns, he’s got to navigate the minefield. And, for him, the land- mines are both internal (shame and dishonor and identity) and external (trust and relationships that he’s trashed). These landmines are exploding left and right in his head. He’s heading back and he’s thinking, “I’m not worthy any more. I’ve lost my identity as a son. I’ve lost my father forever. I’m only fit to be a permanent outsider, a second-class citizen.” This is all part of the necessary “identity work.” The father both interrupts and completes that identity work. While his son is still a long way off, his father sees him and is filled with compassion for him; he runs to his son, throws his arms around him and kisses him. He kisses him. And, in that moment, he defuses all those landmines. Absorbs them into himself. The father’s compassion crushes his son’s guilt and shame. The father’s love reestablishes his identity. And it’s, “My son’s home! Bring out the best robe, and let’s celebrate.” The father’s loving acceptance disposes of his son’s old, false self. Let’s celebrate. Except …there’s a fly in the ointment. That’s the judgment, resentment, and anger of the older brother, who carries his big landmines around with him. The older brother who won’t let go and won’t come in and won’t go along. Who won’t let his heart join in his father’s compassion. No way. The older brother stands as an impediment to full restoration and reconciliation. The father goes to his older son to work on defusing his landmines, pleading
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