MAY 2019 THE
ADULT DECISIONS ON PROMNIGHT
Raising kids can be a challenging endeavor. When Heather and I married in 2013, she agreed to take on not only a husband but also two boys: Andrew, 12, and Chandler, 11. The boys are now 17 and 18 years old and face growing up in a world very different from the one Heather and I knew when we were teenagers. We are far from perfect parents, but we do our best. Our newsletter chronicles some of our successes and some of our less-than-stellar moments. We hope you can learn from some of our failures and find some entertainment in the moments we share.
and handled the situation very well. After finding the contraband, he did not over react or put an end to the evening. Instead, he had each kid contact his or her parent to inform them of the situation. Most of the kids in the group (including my son) were unaware of the alcohol until it was found. Each parent was informed that their teenager would be going to the prom and there would be consequences for the wrongdoer. I am very happy that another parent handled things in this manner. One of the greatest challenges in parenting teenagers is realizing that when — not if — your teenager uses bad judgment, their mistake is not yours. In another blink of an eye, my boys will be out of the house and prom will seem like a distant memory. We can only hope that the missteps are minor and easily corrected. Yes, your kids will grow up faster than you ever thought possible.
felt to attend prom may not be as strong. Nevertheless, I was happy to see Andrew and Chandler get dressed up and head to the Montana State University Ballroom. What could go wrong? At about 9:00 p.m. on prom night, I got “the call.” Apparently, one of the kids in one of my son’s groups decided to bring some liquor to prom. This is not uncommon, and a survey of teens aged 16 to 19 found that 31–41 percent of teens said it was likely that they or their friends would use alcohol or drugs on prom night. However, when something like this happens, ensuring that there are consequences for unacceptable behavior must be weighed against understanding that not all the kids should be punished for the malfeasance of one. There is no manual for raising teenagers, and things are not as black-and-white as we would like.
In what seems like the blink of an eye, our sons Chandler and Andrew have gone from middle school graduation to high school prom. Last week, the Foust boys became the “velvet brothers,” donning tuxedos crafted from the smooth fabric. It is an eye-opener to look your sons in the eye and realize that they are no longer the little kids who needed you for everything. Now, they just want the keys to the car and a few bucks for gas. How quickly things change! I was surprised to learn that over half of all Americans never attend a high school prom. In fact, research shows that most Americans (53 percent) did not attend prom, and barely half of those who went (51 percent) went with a date. I grew up with the misconception that prom was a rite of passage that everyone participated in at some point. Today, attendance at proms is not as obligatory as it once was, and the social pressure teens in the 1980s
- Lucas Foust
The parent who had organized the limousine for the kids found the alcohol
406-587-3720 • 1www.lucasfoustlaw.com
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