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APR 2024
BASEBALL AND BONDING TREASURED MEMORIES OF DAD AND BASEBALL
I am not what many would consider a huge sports guy . I can’t talk ball for hours or recite the rosters of professional sports franchises by name and position. If you are participating in a sports trivia game, you do not want me anywhere near your corner. But don’t get me wrong — there are times when I really do enjoy watching sports. I originally hail from the Bay Area, and when the San Francisco 49ers played in the Super Bowl this year, I was glued to the screen. During that whole game, I was a nervous wreck, and the secondhand anxiety I felt was palpable. That experience reminded me that it was not a lack of interest but my attachment to sports that makes me a weary spectator these days. Of all sports, baseball has the biggest place in my heart for one reason: my dad. My dad was a baseball pitcher in high school, and he told me he liked to throw curveballs and sliders (or “junk” as he called it) back then. He came to regret that, as he blamed those throws for his elbow and shoulder pain later in life. Growing up, watching baseball was a common father-son activity. When I was 2 years old, my dad took me to my first baseball game, where we watched the San Francisco Giants play at Candlestick Park. One of my dad’s first jobs was as a play-by-play commentator for high school basketball, and when we watched baseball together, he’d do the same thing. I will always remember sitting with him on the couch, enjoying his company, and listening to him predict what the color commentators would say before they said it. I remember watching Game 3 of the 1989 World Series with him, between the San Francisco Giants and the Oakland Athletics. I must have been about 6 at the time. While I don’t remember much about the
game, I do remember it was interrupted by the devastating Loma Prieta earthquake. Growing up in the Bay Area, every kid knew where they were on the day of the earthquake. Whenever anyone asked, I proudly told them I was at home, watching the game with my dad. Spending time with him made any moment worth remembering. About five years ago, my dad passed away from pancreatic cancer. He was a great man, husband, and father. He taught me about having integrity and humility. He was a great listener and would always offer sage advice. In short, he continues to be my role model and hero. Because my dad’s parents were cold, stern, and distant, offering only conditional love, he chose to embody the opposite qualities when it came to how he parented us. He made a concerted effort always to be present, compassionate, and empathetic. When you told him something, he would take a genuine interest, and when you spoke with him about your problems, he would offer words of encouragement and support. Earlier this year, I was grappling with a difficult decision; a decision that was going to have repercussions for, and beyond, my immediate family. I summoned the strength to take action by thinking of him and how he sacrificed for us growing up. Afterward, I could just imagine him giving me a message of support, telling me he was proud of me for making the hard,
but ultimately right, decision. I am grateful for his legacy of kindness and support, and I know I’ll continue to draw upon the lessons he taught and the example he set as I continue to move forward and face what lies ahead.
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Retirement is the end goal after decades spent working and saving. Once reached, a common question retirees ask is, “Now what?” There’s a massive gap in your schedule now, and there are countless things you can fill the time with. So, here are four big ideas you can use to take advantage of your newfound freedom. NO. 1 SEE THE WORLD The world is a vast and beautiful place, and now that you don’t have obligations tying you down, you can finally get out there and see everything on your bucket list. If you ever wanted to experience the breathtaking size of the Grand Canyon or dreamt of dining at French cafes by the Seine River in Paris, then retirement is the perfect opportunity to go on those adventures. NO. 2 NEVER STOP LEARNING Be a lifelong learner. If you’ve always wanted to explore your interests through education but couldn’t fit it into your schedule, now you can. There are courses available online and in person. Many classes specialize in educating seniors, while others offer highly discounted rates. Some colleges allow seniors to audit their courses at little to no cost with a tuition waiver. Lifelong learning also helps reduce the risk of Alzheimer’s and dementia. So, if you worry about these diseases, continuous learning is one of the best defenses you can have. 4 Meaningful Pursuits to Explore After Retirement
NO. 3 HELP AND ADVOCATE Many retirees find purpose through volunteering. Many organizations need a hand, like food banks, soup kitchens, and animal shelters. Giving them some of your time allows you to support your community, further a cause, and even save lives. Volunteer work also connects you with like- minded people, ensuring you make friends with people who share your values. NO. 4 RETIRE A LITTLE LESS Some retirees miss the purpose that work gives (as well as the income). Many jobs also keep you on your feet and active. If you count yourself among them, consider picking up a part-time job. Roles like delivery driver, substitute teacher, and dog walker allow you to line your pockets while meeting people. Retirement is not just the end of work — it’s the start of leisure. You can do and experience many things, from seeing the Mona Lisa to volunteering at an animal shelter. It’s time to take advantage of retirement and seize every opportunity.
FROM CONFLICT TO COOPERATION
CO-PARENTING THROUGH RELATIONSHIP DIFFICULTIES
Parenting can be difficult under the best of circumstances, but co- parenting through a contentious separation or divorce can be stressful and exhausting. The transition from parenting together to parenting separately can take time and requires communication and diligent work to execute correctly. It is critical to keep your children in mind while sorting through this difficult period and to remember that co- parenting is for their benefit. DIFFICULTY COMMUNICATING Different methods and strategies for co-parenting may be necessary depending on how well you and your ex-spouse communicate. When it comes to discussing how to raise your children jointly, the following approaches may prove helpful. • Have in-person meetings at neutral locations, and keep things formal and to the point. • Bring a list of issues and topics to discuss: Keeping the conversation organized can help avoid conflict. • If face-to-face conversations and phone calls are too quarrelsome, try texting or emailing your co-parent instead. It is essential to find a way to communicate that suits both parents. If you decide to communicate through written mediums, try not to read too much into the messages; it will only lead to further animosity and make co-parenting more challenging.
Sometimes, arguments about co-parenting stem from problems with your relationship. Separating your feelings from your prior marriage for the benefit of your children is necessary to co-parent successfully.
CO-PARENTING RESPECTFULLY Even if conditions between you and your ex-partner are no longer copasetic, you can
still raise your children together without contention and undue strain. It is vital to agree on important parenting topics, like how much screen time your kids should have or how to handle trouble at school. Collaborating on decisions that keep the best interests of your children front and center is the best way to proceed. The way you treat your ex-partner can impact your children. Remember not to badmouth your ex in the presence of your children, and keep your conversations with them in front of your kids as cordial as possible. Setting aside your feelings for your partner for the sake of your children is hard, but it is necessary. Co-parenting takes work, but you can be successful by establishing effective communication and cooperation where possible.
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THE PROCESS AND PURPOSE OF POST-DIVORCE MODIFICATIONS Adapting to Changing Circumstances
After going through a difficult period in life, such as a divorce, most people just want a fresh start and to put the past behind them. However, life is a constant journey of change, and sometimes, these changes may necessitate modifications to an existing divorce decree. For instance, losing a job or developing a health condition that impacts your ability to work and provide child support may necessitate a modification in a child custody agreement. But whatever the situation, to alter orders established through a divorce, you must demonstrate substantial change. However, in Illinois, during the first two years of establishing a child custody order, you cannot make changes to the allocation of parental responsibilities unless a child’s safety is at risk — and you provide evidence proving risk to the physical, psychological, or emotional well-being of children. But remember, there are exceptions to this rule. If both parents agree on changes to the current child custody
agreement, or if the court was unaware of circumstances that affected the original child custody decision, you can make modifications. Generally, post-divorce modifications are approved if an ex-spouse experiences one or more of the following life changes:
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Remarriage, resulting in a change of living arrangements Losing a job or other circumstances resulting in a drastic loss of income A significant increase in income An illness or health condition affecting an ex-spouse or child Plans to move out of state, especially if planning on taking children with them
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If you want to modify an existing child support order, child custody agreement, or other aspect of your divorce decree, the Law Offices of Robert Buchanan can help. Call 312- 248-6170 to schedule a consultation today!
TAKE A BREAK
Craveable Carrot Cake Indulge in the delightful flavors of a classic carrot cake!
Ingredients:
• 2 cups all-purpose flour • 2 tsp baking powder • 1 tsp baking soda • 1 tsp ground cinnamon • 1/4 tsp nutmeg • 1/2 tsp salt
• 2 cups granulated sugar • 1 1/2 cups vegetable oil • 4 large eggs • 3 cups grated carrots
• 1/2 cup chopped walnuts (optional) • Cream cheese frosting (optional)
Directions: 1.
Preheat oven to 350 F. 2. Grease and flour a 9x13-inch pan. 3. In a medium bowl, combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt. 4. In a large bowl, beat together sugar, oil, and eggs. 5. Gradually add dry ingredients to wet ingredients, stirring until blended. 6. Stir in carrots and walnuts. Pour batter into prepared pan. 7. Bake for 35–40 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. 8. Cool in pan before serving. (For extra decadence, spread with cream cheese frosting once the cake cools.)
ARBOR ARIES
CHOCOLATE DAISY DIAMOND ENVIRONMENT
GARDEN KITE
BASEBALL CHERRIES
RAINBOW SHOWERS
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161 N. Clark, Ste. 1700 Chicago, IL 60601 (312) 488-1938 rbbfirm.com
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IN THIS ISSUE
1.
Recalling Treasured Memories of Dad and Baseball
2.
How to Flourish in Your Retirement Years
How to Co-Parent Despite Relationship Difficulties
3.
Understanding the Process and Purpose of Post-Divorce Modifications
Craveable Carrot Cake
4.
A-Listers Who Haven’t Aged a Day
HOLLYWOOD STARS WHO SEEM UNTOUCHED BY THE SANDS OF TIME
The Fountain of Youth is a spring said to provide its discoverers with eternal youth. And some celebrities must have found it because they haven’t aged a day since entering the spotlight. These popular icons are remarkably youthful, weathering the sands of time with mysterious grace. Charlize Theron (48) – Denying that she’s ever gotten plastic surgery, the South African actress from Johannesburg has aged like fine wine ever since her debut role in “The Devil’s Advocate” in 1997. She has since starred in spectacular films like “Mad Max: Fury Road” and “Atomic Blonde,” becoming one of the world’s most successful and highly-paid actresses. Gabrielle Union (50) – The activist, actor, and novelist is as radiant in 2023’s “The Perfect
Find” as she was in 1993’s “Family Matters.” She was listed on Time’s 100 Most Influential People of 2020 for her integrity in the face of injustice and dedication to numerous social causes. Jared Leto (51) – This cinematic and musical icon still sports the stunningly youthful face he became famous for. Winner of many awards over his three-decade-long career, Leto has starred in “Dallas Buyer’s Club” and numerous other excellent films. Brad Pitt (60) – Shockingly, the iconic actor turned 60 this year. His jaw is just as chiseled as ever, and his piercing eyes still sparkle the same radiant blue. First recognized for his role as a deceitful cowboy in 1991’s “Thelma and Louise,” he played the assassin Ladybug
in 2022’s “Bullet Train” to show off his eternal youth to the world. Samuel Jackson (74) – This legendary actor is a true industry veteran. He first appeared in the 1972 film “Together for Days,” but his first significant role was in “Do the Right Thing” in 1989. His illustrious career continues, having been in a variety of films from “The Incredibles” to “Pulp Fiction.” While he has been in the industry for decades, the septuagenarian is just as handsome as ever. These celebrities’ supernatural resistance to aging can’t help but make us wonder what their secrets are. Do they have a magic skincare routine? Have they actually found the Fountain of Youth? Only time will tell. Until then, we’ll continue to enjoy their talents.
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