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NOV 2025
My First Role Model A Father’s Lasting Impact
We all have much to be thankful for this holiday season, but certain people will always stand out as deserving of our deepest gratitude. In addition to including Veterans Day and Thanksgiving, November is National Inspirational Role Models Month. I’ve been fortunate to have known many inspirational people, but my father, Phil, will always be the person who most made me the man I am. He passed away in September 2018, about 18 months after he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. If there’s one word to describe my father, it would be intentional . He didn’t have a particularly close relationship with his dad, so he put everything he had into that role when it became his turn. Looking back, I’d say he was on the cutting edge of “gentle parenting” before it became a buzzword. He was a great masculine role model, but he was also attuned to my feelings and taught me the value of humility. His ego wasn’t so fragile that he couldn’t look in the mirror, realize he had made a mistake, and apologize to me (even as
a kid) when he had crossed the line and let his emotions and frustrations get the best of him. Whenever he had to address something with me, he handled it more as a two-way conversation between equals than as a father speaking to his son. My experiences and feelings always mattered; he made me feel heard and understood. I work to model his level of emotional intelligence every day. My father wasn’t college-educated but built his knowledge base by living eclectically. As I’ve previously mentioned in this newsletter, he worked as a radio DJ from the late ‘60s through the ‘70s. He started in Milwaukee before a lengthy run at KSAN in San Francisco. Although working at a major rock station presented more than a few fun times for a young man, he eventually decided to settle down and devote more time to being a husband and father. Around the time I was born, he got a job as the water district manager in my hometown of Bolinas, California. Over the course of his career, he learned how to be a great manager, bookkeeper, and administrator. He was also a very talented writer. Even though he mostly wrote administrative stuff, I admired his prose, vocabulary, and ability to compose a great sentence. My dad also got heavily into computers as they emerged in the marketplace, and he became one of the first people in our small town to own one. He encouraged me to use computers and ensured we were hooked up to the internet as soon as it was available. He even taught himself how to code! He never stopped being curious about the world and learning new things.
Very early in my law career, I had a car in serious disrepair and had little hope of traveling from courthouse to courthouse. My dad cut me a check for $4,000 to help me buy a car. Before long, I found a 2000 Toyota Avalon on Craigslist. My dad’s check was one of the last truly significant things my dad did for me. My career wouldn’t have gotten on the road (literally!) without him. If he were still here, I know he would be proud of who I’ve become in my career and life. I know I also inspired him, and I now experience that feeling when my children inspire me . I wish he had been able to meet and spend time with them. He would have loved them so much. My father is never far from my thoughts, as I’m sure the extraordinary people who inspired you in life never leave yours. This month, hold them even closer in your heart … and whenever you can, honor them by being that
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inspirational role model to someone else who will achieve great things through your love, care, and guidance.
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Somatic Journaling Will Change How You Heal
And How You Move Through the Day
You know that feeling when something’s off, but you can’t quite explain it? You’re not “sick,” but you’re not thriving. Maybe your shoulders are tense, your stomach is in knots, or your energy crashes every afternoon. That’s your body trying to get your attention. Fortunately, you already have the tools to listen. Welcome to somatic journaling , a practice that helps you connect the dots between what your body feels and what your soul needs. FEELING BETTER STARTS WITH FEELING. Unlike traditional journaling, which often lives in your head (think thoughts, plans, overthinking), somatic journaling takes you deeper. It allows you to tune in to your body, where your emotions, energy, and stress are stored. Those tight hips? That shallow breath? They’re clues. Somatic journaling is your chance to decode them. All you need is a bit of mindfulness, a notebook, and a few moments to breathe and ask your body, “What’s going on in there?” Let’s say you’re anxious before a meeting. Instead of spiraling into “Why am I always like this?” you pause and notice: Your chest is tight, your breath shallow, and you feel like you’re running on empty. Then comes the “aha” moment: “I’ve had no breaks all day. No wonder I feel
this way.” That’s the body’s version of a breakthrough and a chance to reset. TRY THESE EASY SOMATIC CHECK-INS. The 3-2-1 Body Scan Start small and write down: • 3 sensations (feet on floor, jaw tight, clammy hands) • 2 slow breaths • 1 question: “What does my body need right now?” Do it when you wake up, before a tough conversation, or anytime you feel “off.” A JOURNAL IS YOUR TRANSLATOR. Somatic journaling helps you shift from judgment to curiosity, from disconnection to trust. It’s a practice of tuning into the intelligence that lives under your skin. You don’t need to “fix” yourself. Just feel. Your body has the answers, and your somatic journal is where they begin.
Freedom, Fresh Starts, and Finding Yourself
Depending on where you are in your divorce proceedings, you may not be anticipating this Thanksgiving with excitement … but it doesn’t have to be that way. Whether you and your former spouse lived alone or had a home with children, approaching the holiday season as a newly single person may not immediately fill you with thoughts of positivity and gratitude. However, there are many things to be thankful for, despite and even because of your divorce. Here are three things to consider when finding happiness over the holidays becomes difficult. NEW TRAILS AND TURNING POINTS Although alone time after a divorce can be emotionally challenging, it can also open the door to new experiences you wouldn’t have imagined while married. Whether you pursue that higher education you paused years ago, write that novel that’s been in your head for ages, or just want to make decisions without asking your former partner for their opinion, independence can be a blessing at any age. HEALING AND HARMONY AT HOME Even the most amicable divorce could have been preceded by an undeniable air of tension in the household, and your children (regardless of age) likely felt every uncomfortable moment, even if things were A Post-Divorce Gratitude Guide
left unsaid. No one wants to walk on eggshells in their home, so a divorce can allow everyone, especially kids, to live more
comfortably and focus more on what makes them happy. Sometimes, a separation helps each parent foster deeper, more relaxed, and more fulfilling relationships with their children away from the
stress of maintaining a family structure that no longer works. That newfound peace of mind is something you and your young ones can be grateful for as the holidays roll around. BASIC BLESSINGS AND EVERYDAY EASE As with most things, a positive attitude focused on gratitude likely won’t come overnight. If you’re struggling to embrace thankfulness, start by identifying five things you appreciate each day. Job stability, good health, a new hobby, or the comfort of friends are just a few gifts to be grateful for. If you’re struggling to fill your list, taking a long walk outdoors away from the strain of everyday life may help you focus on simple joys. Little things are worth acknowledging and celebrating. There’s still plenty to love in life, even when that life changes.
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Cold Comfort Feel-Good Foods for Frosty Days
This time of year, especially in this part of the country, isn’t always kind to those who are divorced. If you’re familiar with Midwest winters, you know you’ll likely spend as much time hiding indoors as possible over these next few months. Combine that weather with the hustle of the holidays (and all the festive eating that goes along with it), and it’s little wonder we tend to go for comfort food over healthier fare. Of course, indulging in not-so-healthy food is even more common if you’re also dealing with the realities of a separation or your first round of holidays alone or single.
Fortunately, you have plenty of ways to indulge your desire for decadent dining without ruining your diet. Here are a few tips for creating
comfort food without the negative consequences. THE RIGHT DESSERT CAN BOOST YOUR BRAIN.
Unfortunately, all those holiday cakes and cookies that call to us have plenty of fat and sugar but very little protein (if any). Protein is essential to keeping our minds and bodies sharper, especially as we age. If you can’t help but hit the fudge brownies right now, consider including puréed black beans in your ingredients. Although it may not seem like a go-to choice for a sweet treat, the beans will add protein and
vegetables without compromising the flavor. TRY NEW TWISTS ON TRADITIONAL TASTES.
Our taste buds and stomachs might love heavy pastas and hearty soups on winter nights, but they do little to keep us fit and mentally focused, especially as a short-term stress relief or comfort strategy. Slipping some butternut squash or spinach into your lasagne or macaroni and cheese will help counteract the heavy carbs, while putting aside salt in favor of natural herbs will lower the sodium level in your soups. Sometimes, minor menu changes make all the difference in making our “bad” foods better for our physiques and peace of mind. Try these small changes the next time you want to curl up with some comforting cuisine.
TAKE A BREAK
Ingredients • 1 (1-oz) envelope onion soup mix Slow Cooker Brisket
• 1 lb carrots, peeled
• 1 tbsp brown sugar • 1 1/2 tsp kosher salt
and cut into 2-inch pieces • 1 lb baby golden potatoes • 3 celery stalks, cut into 1-inch pieces • 1 large sweet onion, cut into 8 wedges • 2 1/2 cups beef stock • 2 tbsp Worcestershire sauce • 2 tbsp cornstarch
• 1/2 tsp ground black pepper • 1 3-lb piece of beef brisket (flat cut)
• 8 fresh thyme sprigs • 8 whole garlic cloves • 2 bay leaves
Directions 1. In a small bowl, combine soup mix, sugar, salt, and pepper. Sprinkle over brisket. 2. Place meat, fat cap side down, into an 8-qt slow cooker. 3. Top brisket with thyme, garlic, bay leaves, carrots, potatoes, celery, and onion. 4. Whisk stock, Worcestershire sauce, and cornstarch until fully dissolved. Add to slow cooker. 5. Cover and cook on high for 5–6 hours until tender. 6. Remove to a cutting board, fat side up. Remove thyme and bay leaves. 7. Thinly slice brisket against the grain. 8. Serve with vegetables, drizzled with gravy from the slow cooker.
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IN THIS ISSUE
1.
The Man Behind the Mindset
2.
The Journal Practice That Cultivates Your Mind-Body Connection
Thankfulness in Changing Times
3.
Winter Favorites With a Healthy Fix
Slow Cooker Brisket
4.
Bundle Up and Step Out
Less Scrolling, More Strolling
The Case for a Daily Walk
As the temperatures dip and daylight starts to dwindle sooner in the
That quick burst of movement in the cold can also boost circulation, improve energy levels, and clear mental fog, especially if you’ve been sitting at a desk for most of the day. CREATE A COZY ROUTINE YOU LOOK FORWARD TO. One of the best ways to stay consistent during these cooler months is to make your walk enjoyable. Layer up in comfortable gear, choose a playlist or podcast you love, and set a daily reminder to step outside. Whether it’s 10 minutes around the block or a long weekend loop,
evenings, staying active often falls to the bottom of the priority list. It’s easy to settle into the routine of indoor comfort with more screens and less movement. However, carving out time for a daily walk, even in the chillier months, is a simple
and effective way to stay physically and mentally sharp. FALL AND WINTER ARE NATURE’S UNDERRATED WORKOUT MONTHS. There’s something calming about a quiet sidewalk covered in fall leaves or a peaceful neighborhood dusted with frost. The colder seasons offer a refreshing and grounding change of scenery. A short walk outdoors allows you to unplug and take in the subtle beauty that’s easy to miss
consistency matters more than intensity. MAKE IT SOCIAL, REWARDING, OR BOTH.
If you aren’t feeling motivated solo, ask a friend or neighbor to join you a few times a week. If you prefer going alone, add a small reward: a stop for a warm drink, or the satisfaction of checking it off your daily goals list. These little incentives can make your walk something to look forward to.
when you’re rushing from one indoor task to the next. THE SCIENCE OF SEASONAL MOVEMENT IS REAL.
Cooler air does more than wake you up. It makes your body work harder to stay warm, thus increasing the calorie burn of even a casual stroll.
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