FranklinCovey-The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Sales Leaders

HABIT 5: SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD

LISTENING? OH YEAH, I DO THAT Last week my wife was talking about something happening with one of our children. While she was mid-sentence, my phone beeped and I quickly glanced at a text. I started to read it and said, “I’m still listening.” Funny—she didn’t think so. Repeating what someone says isn’t enough to prove we listen. People have to recognize your sincere effort to hear what they say and understand why it’s important to them. They have to feel that you ‘get’ them— that you’ve listened without judgment or bias with your full, undivided attention. This is such an important deposit in their “emotional bank account.”

#1 Fear We’re afraid to let go of our own knowledge and experience, often because too much of our identity is tied to what we know and what we’ve done. We fear if we ‘lose ourselves’ in somebody else’s world we might forfeit having our needs met or our points considered— or our identity or position will be diminished or weakened. This is especially true when someone is arguing a point that’s different from ours. None of those fears is actually true, but it feels like they are. #2 We don’t agree We often believe that listening is interpreted as agreement. Understanding another person’s point and agreeing with that point are completely different. Listening doesn’t invalidate anything you think or feel, or any experience you’ve had. You can hold an opposite point of view—and it doesn’t have to get in the way of understanding another’s point of view.

professional-services and high- tech firms. Let’s say you start as an analyst, then get promoted to project leader, then to a senior manager, and so on. With each promotion, you’re increasingly expected to sell, and you think: “The value in my career to this point has always been a function of explaining how we solve problems. Therefore, to prove capability and value I have to get finished with this ‘listening’ thing quickly so I can tell how we will solve a client’s problems.” Telling isn’t selling. Selling requires deep understanding before any attempt to solve. #5 We want to prove we can relate Even though we think we’re listening, we’re not. We project our own reaction into the other person’s experience as that person is speaking. “I had that happen to me. It made me feel horrible.” We hope this strengthens our rapport because we’ve had similar experiences. What we don’t realize is in doing so we dismiss the other person’s unique feelings and experience. Learn to listen outside your autobiographical reaction or filters. HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW YOUR CLIENTS’ NEEDS? In workshops, I often ask participants, “If you could get a client to share any and as much information as you want, what would you ask them?” People answer, “What’s your strategic plan? What are your problems? Your priorities? What does success look like? What’s your budget? Who makes the decision? How do you feel about us? How do you feel about our competition?” These

To listen better, get rid of internal and external

distractions. For example, if a member of your team is talking, the voice in your head might say, “I wonder if she’d be open to this idea… I’ll tell her about my experience last week… Plus I want to ask about… And then I’ll tell her…” As soon as you get caught up in that internal dialogue, you’re no longer listening. An email, a text, a pile of unopened mail on your desk, or somebody walking by your office—if those external distractions pop up while someone’s trying to share something important, dismiss those distractions. Otherwise what you’re saying is, “You aren’t really that important to me.” You might feel you’re listening, but the other person won’t. FIVE REASONS WHY WE DON’T LISTEN What gets in the way of listening to others:

#3 We don’t want to listen Why wouldn’t we want to

listen? It could be as simple as we’re too busy to give someone our undivided attention. Or, if we’re honest, we don’t listen because we don’t want to listen. It’s an ego problem. Maybe we don’t like the person or what’s being said. Maybe we take it personally, which shuts down our willingness and ability to listen. Don’t take it to heart, even if something was intended to be a personal attack. And don’t make it personal—keep the lines of communication open. #4 We want to ‘fix’ things There’s so much telling in sales because salespeople often come from a ‘solving’ or delivery background, especially in

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