faith
How to Discipline Your Kids
BY JULIANNA STEEN | PHOTO BY MAGNIFIC.COM
I n a world conflicted on whether what it looks like to discipline your child as a believer. So how do you correct your child in a way that is both effective and loving—and reflects the heart of God rather than simply reacting in the moment? 1. Discipline to Correct, Not to Punish There’s a difference between punitive discipline (punishment for doing something wrong) and corrective discipline (training for the child’s welfare now and for the future). Remember, the goal isn’t specifically to make your child miserable for disobeying, but to grow and mature them as a person. spankings are evil and if time-out is even effective, it can be tough to navigate 2. Don’t Just Correct—Explain Why “Children need to be taught what is right just as much as they need to be corrected,” Melissa Kruger writes for The Gospel Coalition. Explaining expectations and rules age-appropriately treats your children with respect—and oftentimes helps you garner
loving disposition, your child may receive it differently. Don’t underestimate your child’s ability to discern between genuine care and a power-trip or the need to be right. 4. Parent the Child God Gave You All children are unique. God creates each one with different temperaments, abilities, growth patterns, and personalities. Thus, discipline will also look different depending on the child. What worked for one might not work for another—and that’s okay!
6. Keep the End Goal in Mind Ask yourself, “Who do I want my child to be when they turn 18 and leave our house?” “Start with this end in mind,” Dr. Steen advises, “and if you want to rear a responsible, well-adjusted, socially adept, positive child, then be their parent.” 7. Don’t Choose What’s Easy Over What’s Good You want to be your child’s go-to person, but friendship shouldn’t come at the expense of parenting. This doesn’t mean you can never be friends with your child—there’s a reason I have my mom on speed-dial! But that friendship comes on the backend of working to parent your child well. 8. Don’t Grow Weary in Doing Good “Parenting is hard work, but the work is worth it,” Dr. Steen encourages. Your children may not realize how thankful they are for parents who lean into the hard work of their character development until years later. In those exhausting moments, cling to Galatians 6:9: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” God doesn’t require perfection from you, but He does require us to faithfully steward what we have been given.
5. Be Their Parent, Not Just Their Friend
“After almost 30 years of working with youth, one consistent pattern I observed was how the parent’s relationship (the way they view their role as a parent) was both positive and negative,” Dr. John Steen explains. “Almost always when the parent tries to be their child’s friend instead of their parent and leader, it is displayed through the child’s bad behavior: selfish, me-centric, and a disregard for authority figures, along with negative, rebellious actions.” On the flipside, he has seen teens whose parents provide structure and discipline possess “pleasant attitudes, understand delayed gratification, and are not so self-absorbed.”
their respect in return. 3. Check Your Heart Before You Correct Theirs If discipline is done from an angry
disposition, it may do the exact opposite of what you intended. But if it’s done from a
18 OCTOBER 2026 | BRPARENTS.COM
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