Coping with your feelings Any feelings you have at any point are normal. It may help to know that other caregivers have felt the same way you do. Maybe you relate to all the feelings below, or just a few. Give yourself time to understand and work through your range of emotions.
l Grief You may grieve over losing your loved one’s health or the life you had before the melanoma diagnosis. Give yourself permission to grieve those losses and take time to work through and accept the changes in your life. l Loneliness You may feel alone in your role as a caregiver, even if you are surrounded by people. You may feel like no one understands you and that you are in this alone. Support groups may help you connect with others in a similar place. l Anger It is common to feel angry, whether it is aimed at yourself, your family or your loved one. However, anger can be healthy if you handle it the right way, such as to help motivate you. But if the feelings last, talk with a counselor or therapist.
l Anxiety or depression Do you have trouble relaxing or are you having panic attacks? Are you worried about insurance, medical bills or how this is affecting the family? If you feel sadness or depression that lasts more than a couple of weeks, talk with your own doctor about it right away. l Guilt Feeling guilty is a common reaction for caregivers. You may feel guilty that you are healthy, that you aren’t helping enough or even for not acting cheerful enough. l Hopelessness Throughout your loved one’s treatment, you may feel different levels of hope. You may hope for a cure, for peace, for comfort or even for acceptance. But if feelings of hopelessness don’t pass, talk with your doctor.
“I recently met with a psychiatrist. I’ve been struggling, but he understood what I’ve been experiencing. The way he was able to put my feelings into words brought me a sense of relief just knowing someone understands.” — Anonymous caregiver
Melanoma Patient and Caregiver Guide | Stages 2–3 50
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