When your parent is the patient You will always be “the child” to your parents. But sometimes your role must change. Your parent may feel guilt, anger or other feelings as they watch their children become their caregivers.
Here are some tips for keeping your relationship positive: l R eassure your parent that they are not alone, and you will be a solid support for them. l A s best you can, try not to take their feelings personally. l T ry not to argue — simply acknowledge their feelings, for example: “I’m sorry you are feeling that way…”
When your child is the patient Nothing will erase the pain and anguish of caring for a child with cancer. Feelings like anger, guilt, worry and grief are common. This can create a crisis in your family, but there are resources to help.
You will get a lot of information about how the care team plans on helping your child get better. For some people, it helps them cope and begin to plan if they understand the treatment plan. If too much information feels overwhelming, that is ok. Take your time.
Tips for managing all the new feelings you and your family will have: l Share your feelings with your partner, your loved ones or a counselor. l Accept all the help that is offered to you. l Look for clues about how your child is feeling in their words, questions and behavior. l Often a child will try to protect their parent or caregiver by stifling their thoughts and feelings. l Talk openly with your child about the disease, how they are feeling and how it has changed their life — this allows them to grieve their own losses, which is a healthy way to cope.
It will take time to adjust and create new routines, but your family and your child will adjust. Share stories, look through old photos and simply spend time with your child to help ease some of the worry.
54 Melanoma Patient and Caregiver Guide | Stages 2–3
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