The stages of grief Bring up the hard topics
l Denial The first reaction to learning about a diagnosis or loss of a loved one may be denial. Denial and shock help us cope and survive. As you accept the reality of your loss, you are beginning the healing process. l Anger Anger can be directed at anyone and anything. The anger may not seem rational but is caused by the intense feelings of your emotions. Do not hide your anger. Instead, feel your anger and help yourself begin the healing process. l Bargaining You may keep asking yourself “What if … ?” You may even bargain with the pain you’re feeling. These are natural reactions as you attempt to regain control of your feelings and your life. Sometimes you may feel guilt. l Depression Depression is an appropriate reaction — your loss may be sad and make you feel depressed. This does not mean you have a mental illness. You may also feel sadness, regret and worry. l Acceptance You may or may not ever reach the stage of acceptance. Acceptance is not being “all right” with what has happened. It is more about recognizing your new reality and adjusting to your new environment.
Grief is a natural human response to loss. You may be grieving the loss of your loved one’s health, the life you had before the melanoma diagnosis or if your loved one has passed away. Give yourself time to work through and accept the changes in your life. Grief is different for everyone, but there are models that list steps of grieving that people have in common. Finding a grief model that makes sense for you may help you cope with your feelings. It can also remind you just how normal your grieving is, and that you’re not alone. One popular grief model is the five stages of grief by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross. These stages give us a framework for dealing with grief or the loss of a loved one. Not everyone will go through each stage or in this order. You may jump back and forth between stages before moving on to the next, or you may never feel one or more of the stages. There is no right or wrong way to deal with grief. These stages may simply help guide you in the grieving process.
For additional models of grief, visit: bayareacbtcenter.com/grief-stages
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