suffer more from the loss of function than they do pain, and find it difficult to let others do things for them – particularly intimate things, such as bathing or cleaning them. Concern about physical appearance: Someone who is dying may feel repulsive,
dignity and reduces their feeling of dependence or being a burden on others.
• Touch can provide comfort and reassurance, and help reduce the feeling of isolation or being alone. • Ask permission to touch the person if and when appropriate. • Put an arm around them, hold their hand, give them a hug or wipe away their tears. Touch can often mean more than words. • It is not necessary to engage in long conversations with someone who is dying. • Being present is often all people need to let them know they are not being abandoned. • Avoid giving advice or false hopes, or trying to fix the person or his/her problems. • Think about the kind of support you like to receive when you face a crisis. • Ask yourself: How did I feel? What did I want? What response did I most appreciate? What did I do? How did others best help me?
freaky, dirty or unclean. They may be mourning the loss of their physical appearance and feel unattractive or unlovable.
A need to connect with others or set things right. As people grow closer to death, they want to be able to express their love to the people closest to them and they often want to set things right – seek or offer forgiveness or deal with any regrets. Loneliness and isolation. As people get closer to death, they may have fewer visitors and less contact with the health care providers they saw often when they were receiving curative treatment. They may fear being left alone or going to sleep in case they die alone. This fear can have a profound relationship to pain: many people report more intense pain when they are alone. Lost dreams . Some people experience sadness over failed expectations in their lives – the things they didn’t get to do with their family or friends or in their careers. Anticipatory grief . Some people actively grieve that they will no longer be alive - that life is ending earlier than they expected or wanted - that they are leaving family and friends with whom they have shared their lives. As they experience their own grief they may remember the many family and friends
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