nights admiring the wrapping, without bothering to open the gift! The Greeks and Hellenists declared open war against learning Torah. As we specifically mention in al hanissim , their goal was ,ךתרות םחיכשהל to erase Torah learning and knowledge from the collective minds of Klal Yisrael. Therefore, the first and foremost lesson of Chanukah is that celebrating the victory of the Chashmonaim means that we are celebrating our freedom to learn Torah. It behooves us therefore to make sure that we take the time on Chanukah to re- member what we were fighting for and the precious - ness of our ultimate gift. It has been suggested that this is the origin of the minhag of dreidel , 3 reenacting how they needed to play to hide their learning, as well as for the minhag of giving Chanukah gelt , coins to our children and their teachers, to reward them for their efforts to further Torah learning. Over time, gifts have been used instead of, or in addition to, gelt . Has Chanukah gift-giving become more popular- ized by those who were looking through the window at their neighbors’ gifts under their trees? Most defi - nitely. It is interesting to note, however, that historical- ly, gift-giving for both Jewish and non-Jewish holidays increased in the U.S. during the 1950s when post-war Americans could buy holiday gifts for their families. 4 Halachically, it has been suggested that giving Cha- nukah presents may fall under the prohibition of chu- kos ha’akum , copying non-Jewish practices. 5 Rav Yaa- kov Kaminetsky zt”l was of the opinion that it does not. R’ Yaakov, in fact, goes further in suggesting that it is more probable that the custom of giving presents started with Chanukah gifting and then became popu- larized in other religions as well. 6 In general, family culture and custom is something that the entire family creates together and we should be thoughtful and intentional in setting the right tone. Guidance from one’s rav, traditions from our own par- ents and grandparents, as well as norms in the com- munity we live in are all important parts of the equa- tion. This being said, I would offer two reasons in favor of a meaningful gift for each of our children on Cha- nukah. Firstly, it makes the yom tov special for the kids. One of my rabbeim pointed out that, in truth, gifts on a yom tov are not unique to Chanukah and should really be viewed in the same category as a fi - koman presents which enhance the seder and keep the kids excited and engaged. Of course, for both it is important to keep in mind that, for a present to en- hance the yom tov, it must be something that will be exciting for the child but not overly extravagant to the point where the focus of the chag becomes cele- brating materialism. Too many gifts may also be exces- sive. (I was once at the airport during Chanukah, and a stranger approached me to bemoan the fact that he needed to buy 8 Chanukah presents for his daughter, one for each night of Chanukah!) Additionally, and perhaps even more importantly, a thoughtful gift, even a small one, is a way of show- ing each of our children that we understand them, להשכיחם תורתך
appreciate the things that they like, and we are invest- ing in something extra just for them. We find a powerful example of this at the begin - ning of Parshas Vayishlach. In preparation for his meeting with Eisav, Yaakov davens, makes battle plans, and sends Eisav a number of gifts. Specifically, the pasuk says [Yaakov] took from what comes in his hand, as a gift for his brother Esav. 7 Yaakov took a gift, but what exactly is the meaning of the phrase ודיב אבה ןמ , “from that which comes in his hand?” Rabbeinu Bachya explains that this was a gift that was carried by hand. Specifically, Yaakov brought Eisav a falcon 8 , a hunting bird, which came along in Eisav’s hand, when Eisav went hunting. Yaakov was a tzaddik . He loved to daven to Hash- em and study His Torah. Why not send Eisav a sefer, a tallis, or something of spiritual significance? Maybe the right gift would even have a hashpa’ah , a positive influence, on Eisav to return from his wicked ways! Yaakov was a shepherd. He knew domesticated ani- mals and appreciated their value, and he sent sheep and cattle to Eisav as the subsequent pesukim de- scribe. However, Yaakov was also a chacham , a wise person, who understood other people. Yaakov knew that Eisav was not a tzaddik or a shepherd. Eisav had different interests and values and Yaakov asked him- self, “If I were Eisav, what kind of gift would I really benefit from and appreciate?” Gelt is gevaldig (or, in the English version, cash is king). At the same time, Yaakov Avinu shows us the power of a thoughtful gift that expresses our love and understanding of our children in a unique and impact- ful way. Each Chanukah and each chag that we celebrate is a gift. Wishing you much hatzlacha in finding the best way to make it exciting, beautiful, and meaningful for yourself and your family. Rabbi Binyomin Halpern Rabbi Binyomin Halpern is a mohel, sofer, and has taught at a number of yeshivos and day schools in the United States and Canada. He has served as Rav of Congre- gation House of Jacob-Mikveh Israel (HOJMI) in Calgary, Alberta and is currently the Dean at Bais Yaakov of Boca Raton. Questions or comments are welcome and can be sent to Rabbi Halpern: info@theconnectionsouthflorida.com SUBJECT: Ask the Rabbi חובות הלבבות :שער חשבון הנפש (חשבון כ”ד) 1 עיין גמרא שבת כא: 2 נטעי גבריאל ריש פרק נ”א 3 מן הבא בידו ֽיו �ִֽ וַַיִִּק ַַּח מ ִִן־ה ַַב ָָּא בְְיָָדו ִמְִנְח ָָה לְְעֵֵש ָָׂו א ָָח
ויש שפירש מן הבא בידו עוף 8 הנקרא פלקו”ן, כי מפני שהיה עשו איש ציד הביא לו העוף הזה שיצוד בו(ר’ בחיי בראשית ל”ב:י”ד)
םש א”רגה רואיבו א”מרו רבחמ א:חעק ’יס ד”וי ’יע 5 אמת ליעקב אורח חיים סי’ תר”ע 6 בראשית ל”ב:י”ד 7 4 Detriot Jewish News:: Looking Back: Gift-Giv- ing at Chanukah By Mike Smith Dec 16, 2022 Updated Jun 18, 2023
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