Physical Factors: • poor health before the illness of the dying person • deterioration of health
• poor sleep patterns • poor eating habits.
Spiritual Factors: • perceived lack of help from faith, religion, church, God or clergy.
5. HELPING CHILDREN COPE WITH GRIEF Parenting styles and cultural norms will play a large part in how a family helps a child cope with grief. While many parents will be open and truthful about what is happening, others will feel strongly about protecting the child from grief. Even when volunteers disagree with the family’s approach, it is not appropriate for them to impose their values on the family. The volunteer’s role is to affirm the child’s feelings and support the adult family members.
Children understand death in different ways at different developmental stages. Children can be very aware of the disruption to their normal routines and lives but may not ask questions or reveal their knowledge. Adolescents may seek the volunteer out and want to talk about their feelings or ask for information. Always check with the parent before recommending any materials or resources.
Listening is the oldest and perhaps most powerful tool of healing. It is often through the quality of our listening and not the wisdom of our words that we are able to affect the most profound changes in the people around us. Rachel Naomi Remen, 1996
Children should be allowed to share in grief and attend the funeral or wake but only if they want to. They might feel angry at being abandoned, scared of being alone, confused, or guilty that they might have caused the death. You can help by answering questions honestly, helping them express emotions, reassuring them that it is okay to feel the way they do, and being patient if they bring up the subject of death again and again. Most hospice palliative care programs provide special training and screening for volunteers who work with children.
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