Bereavement is the state of suffering a loss. A bereaved person is someone who has experienced the recent loss of a loved one through death and who is going through the process of mourning. NEEDS OF PEOPLE WHO ARE GRIEVING Everyone grieves differently and will have different needs. But most grieving people need and value: • being alone and yet having company and being with others
We have all experienced loss in one way or another. All of us have mourned and grieved for some of those losses and we’ve done so in a way that reflects our background and outlook. Volunteers will witness grief in a variety of forms. You’ll see family and friends who “pull away” and distance themselves from a person they care for and you’ll see outpourings of emotion and hear tales of regret and sorrow. Loss and grief affects each of us differently. Gallasch, 1996
• the opportunity to express their feelings without embarrassment – this often requires “permission” from those who are not bereaved • the opportunity to tell and re-tell the stories of the life and death of the loved one • information about what is normal (am I going crazy or is this normal to feel the way I do?) • the gift of presence – just being there and being able to be counted upon
• permission to be self-absorbed and not feel guilty about it • being able to laugh and not feel guilty about having fun • permission to experience and express a roller coaster of feelings
• help with basic needs like grocery shopping, housekeeping and meal preparation. MYTHS ABOUT GRIEF Sometimes our ability to help people who are grieving is affected by common myths about grieving, including: • Keeping busy is the best remedy for dealing with the death of a loved one.
The role of the volunteer is to support the bereaved person - not to try to “take away the pain”.
• The less the subject of the death of a loved one is brought up, the easier it will be for the grieving person to adjust. • Time heals.
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