HELPING PEOPLE MANAGE THE STAGES OF GRIEF The role of the volunteer is to be there when the grieving person wants to talk. Volunteers will listen and may hear the same fears, emotions and stories over and over again. The repetition is part of integrating the past with the present, remembering and saying good-bye. As a volunteer, it’s okay to show your emotions. If you’re at ease showing how you feel, it can make it easier for the person who is grieving. • Help the person who is grieving: • express their pain and sorrow, and talk about their feelings of love, guilt and hostility • understand their emotional reactions • accept the pain of bereavement and find meaning in their suffering • talk about new ways of interacting with people and new modes of living • set short-term, realistic goals for themselves as they work through their grief process. • Help with routine tasks if the person is having trouble concentrating on day-to-day things. • Recognize when to keep silent. Don’t try to fill empty spaces with words. • Relax and keep your sense of humour and perspective. More than anything else, bereaved people need contact with these qualities. You may be the only one providing it. When talking with the bereaved, respond with empathy. For example: “How can I be of help?” or “I wish I could take the pain away.” Avoid clichés such as: “I know how you feel.” or “You will marry again.” or “You’ll get over it.” or “The person who died wouldn’t want to see you cry.” 3. PROMOTING HEALTH AND WELL-BEING FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE GRIEVING Volunteers should not give advice but they can point out things people who are grieving can do to protect their own health. PHYSICAL HEALTH • Exhaustion makes you susceptible to illness, so pay attention to nutrition, rest and exercise. • Eat lightly, even if you have no appetite.
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