CRACKING THE CODE For leaders, the ability to create beneficial working relationships is an indispensable tool of the trade. IMD Business School’s Professor Shlomo Ben‑Hur explains why social code is so critical in the context of understanding our management skills T he more senior your role, the less you drive results by directly doing things yourself and the more you get things done through engaging, directing and influencing others. If you can’t build effective working relationships, you will struggle to succeed – but the reason behind your failure might not be what you think. My new book, Re-writing Your Leadership Code , examines how our ability to build relationships draws on a core set of skills and tendencies that are formed from childhood, ie our so-called ‘social code’. It’s embedded deep within us and shaped by our earliest relationship- building experiences with our parents, teachers and classmates.
Here are the key parts of your social code: Sociability
Probably the most basic and well-known underlying social tendency is the debate over whether we are more introverted or extroverted. Introverts are more reflective and reserved people who tend to be quite anchored in themselves and somewhat turned inwards. Extroverts, on the other hand, are more sociable, talkative and assertive, individuals who tend to enjoy being in groups and thriving off their proximity to other people. At work, the difference between the two tends to be most visible in the degree to which they engage in networking. Introverts will build relationships when their role requires them to do so, but are unlikely to network much beyond this. Meanwhile, extroverts will maintain key relationships more proactively and tend to have a more extensive network. These tendencies can affect how much we interact with our teams and even our teams’ composition, with some evidence finding that leaders who grew up in big families feel more comfortable with managing multiple direct reports. Empathy We tend to talk about people as either having empathy or not, but there are very few individuals who are not capable of it at all. For most of us, it makes more sense to think of empathy as a kind of torchlight. With some people, it is constantly turned on and with a wide beam; they are super‑sensitive and able to spot what almost anyone is feeling. With others, their empathy torch is often turned off, as they focus on tasks instead. They can be just as empathetic when they focus on someone, but for the most part they aren’t always aware of what others are feeling. Too much empathy (or having it always turned on) can be associated with leaders who do not sufficiently drive team performance, are less likely to challenge their boss and less assertive with peers. Rarely having your empathy turned on or having too little of it, on the other hand, tends to be associated with leaders being less aware of how others feel and their impact upon them. As a result, they tend to be less able to emotionally engage their teams, navigate corporate politics or influence upwards. Positivity There is no doubt that optimistic leaders can affect both peer relationships and the performance of their teams. But a leader who is
Since these relationships form so early, they are the foundations upon which all our subsequent relationships are based. It is because so much of our development and learning occurs through our relationships with other people that our social core affects how we develop as individuals and then, later, as leaders. There is always an element of the code at work, but it is when we are rushed and stressed that it can have the biggest impact on our management skills, as we subconsciously return to these tendencies when we are running on automatic or operating under pressure. Learning how it underpins your social behaviours and how to utilise it for your benefit as a leader is critical if you want you and your team to succeed in the changing world of work.
36 | Ambition | OCTOBER 2024
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