2A — June 2023 — M id A tlantic Real Estate Journal
www.marej.com
M id A tlantic Real Estate Journal
M id A tlantic R eal E state J ournal Publisher, Conference Producer ..............Linda Christman AVP, Conference Producer ...........................Lea Christman Editor/Graphic Artist ......................................Karen Vachon Contributing Columnists ......................Tricia Baker, PACE Equity; Carlo L. Batts, MAI, Rittenhouse Appraisals; Nicholas Dooley, CMEA Withum; Michael Feltenberger, CMCA, AMS, PCAM, Barkan Management; Gary Harpst, LeadFirst; Sean Organ, Morgan Properties; Professor Ron Shaw Mid Atlantic R eal E state J ournal ~ Published Monthly Periodicals postage paid at Hingham, Massachusetts and additional mailing offices Postmaster send address change to: Mid Atlantic Real Estate Journal 117 HMS Halsted Dr., Hingham, MA 02043 USPS #22-358 | Vol. 35, Issue 6 Subscription rates: 1 year $99.00, 2 years $148.50, 3 years $247.50 & $4.00 single issue - plus postage REPORT AN ERROR IMMEDIATELY MARE Journal will not be responsible for more than one incorrect insertion Phone: 781-740-2900 www.marej.com
Gary Harpst
“I Want to Help… But Should I?” Five Ways Leaders Can Practice Responsible Generosity
H
OBOKEN, NJ — Most leaders have been there: We see
someone who needs help, and we quickly provide it, only to end up feeling taken advan- tage of. Maybe you helped an employee out of a financial jam, only to see them keep making bad decisions. Or you spent hours coaching a younger col- league and then watched him ignore your advice. Or you stepped in to “rescue” a team- mate who wasn’t prepared and later realized that she now counts on you to save the day. Especially in a time of so much need, almost everyone feels the pull of generosity. But at the same time, we can’t help but worry that our gen- erosity isn’t really helping the person in the long run—or worse, that it will have nega- tive consequences for us or the organization. “Not knowing how to bal- ance these impulses can cre-
ate inner turmoil,” says Gary Harpst, author of Built to Beat Chaos: Biblical Wisdom for Leading Yourself and Others (Wiley, April 2023, ISBN: 978- 1-3941584-0-9, $25.00). “We want to help other people, but are stuck wondering, Does this person even deserve my help? or Am I being taken advantage of? or even Is giving this person a fish keeping them from learning to fish themselves?” These are very human feel- ings and valid concerns, asserts Harpst. And they pose a real dilemma for would-be givers and helpers. We shouldn’t let these concerns harden our hearts to generosity. But on the other hand, constantly giving to people who are not maximizing
their own time and resources might just be an invitation for them to squander ours. “To navigate this, we need to embrace a mindset that I call ‘responsible generosity,’” says Harpst. “It requires us to examine our own motives and to really think about what the other person needs long-term. It is not a ‘get out of giving free’ card; in fact, it may require us to give more of ourselves, which is so much harder but also more meaningful than writing a check.” Here are a few tips on practic- ing responsible generosity: Take a hard look at WHY you’re giving. Are you a co- dependent giver? Do you help continued on page 28A
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