King's Business - 1962-11

LONELINESS

by jeannette Acrea , Consulting Psychologist and Marriage Counselor

I f e e l so j e a l o u s of those other women with their happy homes and husbands. I’m divorced and so lonely! What can I do?” Thus wrote a forty year old mother of two who had recently been divorced. She was evidently a Christian, attending church regularly, and seeking to grow in Christian maturity. However, she couldn’t seem to con­ trol these feelings of self-pity and frustration, although she had been given custody of their two teen-age daugh­ ters. The psychologist reading the letter and needing to give some help on the basis of this small bit of informa­ tion, immediately felt a pang of sympathy for this woman who had lost out on what can be the most satisfyingly beautiful and happy relationship in the world. She thought of her own good fortune in having a Christian husband. She wondered how close the writer was to Christ and how much she depended on Him to satisfy her needs. She wrote. “ Dear Mrs. Jones: It is indeed a sad thing to be without a life-mate. However, have you thought that Christ is ever ready to fill the gap? Acceptance of your present situation is necessary for peace of mind. You may find this easier to do if you talk over your situation with a fine Gospel minister. Take a firm hold on the blessings of the present and make each day the best day you have ever lived. How can you do this? “ First, start each day with God. Thank Him for your blessings and do a bit of enumerating. For instance, your two fine children, your home, your health, your acquain­ tances. Most important, thank Him for sending Jesus Christ from Heaven to give Himself for you as a sacrifice that you might be freed from the burden of sin and guilt. Then promise to let Him live the rest of that day through you, giving Him your self ‘a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service’. Then trust Him to live His life in you and sur­ render yourself completely to His care. “ Second, wait upon Him to bring to your mind things He would like to do through you this day. Perhaps there is a neighbor down the street He wants to visit; or a letter He wants to write; or a particular bit of service He wants done in your church. In your social contacts, per­ haps that ‘stand-offish’ person is shy and lonely. He may want you to attempt renewal of your marriage through forgiving your husband and asking his forgiveness. What­ ever He says to do, do it — for He has promised that if we are obedient He will manifest Himself to us (John 14:23). Whatever you do; yes, even your dishwashing; do all to the glory of God (I Cor. 10:31). “As you invest yourself in His work, you will have little time for jealously or frustration. As you abide in His love you will have peace and joy that passes under­ standing.” NOVEMBER, 1962

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