plishment because she had been able to help in reaching a family goal. It had been challenging and fun because no one shirked his share of the work load. In the Evans home there were no young children to suffer the consequences of a working moth er ; no young mind to be tried by a feeling o f insecurity. But there are many homes where small chil dren are tossed from relative to friend or neighbor, to nursery school and back home — never quite sure where they belong. One of the basic needs of a growing child is security. A moth er needs time with her children for discipline, for training, for showing affection, and teaching the Word of God. This can rarely be done effectively on a part-time basis. What material advantage can take the place of adequately preparing a child for a well-ad justed adult life? A part-time situation which does not conflict with the home schedule of father and children may stem the tide of overwhelm ing obligations. But if the reason for working is to escape the bore dom of an unhappy marriage, or a dislike for the role of a wife and mother, it is rarely the right an swer. Pamela took a long look at her orderly household and thought, “ This is so daily, and for what purpose? I never hear a commen dation; they all take every effort for granted. I’m going to look for a job and use my abilities where they will be appreciated and where I can get paid for my ef forts. Someone else can be the maid around this house.” Pamela went job-hunting on her own and accepted a position as an interior decorator. That evening she announced to Don and the family that she was going to work . . . that she was tired of staying home. A woman would be coming on Monday to do the “ chores” and keep the house in order. For one-half hour Don tried to dissuade her, but to no avail. He pointed out that she had accepted
the role of a mother when the children were born, and that she committed herse lf to being a housewife when she married him. Hadn’t he always provided every thing she desired? Pamela went to work in spite of his protests. She enjoyed her work, stifling her conscience, and knowing it was a purely selfish motive. Neither did she consider the consequences of her husband’s hurt ego, and the damage to her children. The result was that eventually the home was threat ened. The problem for Pamela and Don was finally resolved in pro fessional counseling. She was helped to see that her restlessness stemmed from a lack of under standing of the importance of the role of a homemaker, and Don was able to gain insight on the importance of showing apprecia tion for a job well done — a job that is by no means all glamor. But for every Pamela and Don there are countless broken homes. The happiest homes are those where the husband assumes the God-given role of a provider, fa ther and husband, and the wife assumes the role of a “keeper at home” as God meant it to be. Caught unwittingly in the cur rent of the stream of life, it be comes difficult to escape, but God’s plan is best. No one partner can do the job alone. It must be “ each for the other and both for God” for complete fulfillment in marriage. In Proverbs 31 where we have the description of the ideal, vir tuous woman we find she is in dustrious, “works willingly with her hands,” and “ looks well to how things go in her household, and the bread of idleness (gossip, discontent and self-pity) she will not eat.” For the married woman, her role is important as a co-worker in a team ordained of God for a Divine purpose, as wife (help meet) and mother, (a high call ing). With God’s help, it should bring fulfillment that no career can challenge. Q b |
cer had caught them purse-snatch ing and took the boys to Juvenile Hall for a hearing. Bill got off more easily than Joe because this was his first offense, but the seed of delinquency had been planted and this was not to be the last of Bill’s misdemeanors. One cannot accurately judge the motive of wives and mothers who work. Arrangements that work well for one family may prove disastrous for another. Some children without the securi ty of a mother in the home at all times get into serious trouble; others develop responsibility, in dependence and maturity. We are living in days of economic pres sures. Many families cannot meet the family budget with a single salary. But true motives need to be examined, and we should count the cost. The Evans examined their bud get and called a family confer ence. With two sons in college and a daughter in high school, their finances were being drained to the breaking point. They faced a crisis. “ I can see no other solution ex cept my working,” volunteered Mrs. Evans. “Why don’t I contact the bank where I worked before the children were bom? It has been a long time, but I believe I could adjust.” “ I think I had better quit col lege and go to work,” exclaimed Bob. “No,” added Mr. Evans, “ If mother doesn’t mind, and we all co-operate with her to lighten the home responsibilities, maybe this would tide us over. She would be home from the bank by the time any of you were home from school.” Mrs. Evans did return to the bank, and the family gratefully co-operated in every way. They accepted a share of the home duties, and together worked their way through their financial crisis. It resulted in a close family rela tionship. When Mrs. Evans at tended the graduation of her two sons, she felt pride and accom
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MAY, 1968
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