Difficult Conversations in the Workplace
At some point, you’re going to have to initiate a difficult conversation with a boss, co-worker or colleague. It’s a conversation in which each party has a different opinion and perspective. By preparing for such conversations, you not only achieve your duties as an employee but also help bring about change and maintain successful working relationships.
Workplace
What Makes a Conversation Difficult? The labeling of an employee “difficult” isn’t a matter of someone having a bad day. It becomes a problem when someone is continually and chronically getting in the way of you doing your job effectively. Even the most confident individual may experience nerves when it comes to discussing uncomfortable issues with employees or colleagues. Regardless of the issues, there are steps that you can take to help navigate these difficult conversations. Helpful Hints for Having a Difficult Conversation • Be realistic. Focus on the situation, issue or behavior that you hope will change.
How to Prepare for a Difficult Conversation • Select a specific example that illustrates the behavior or situation you want to change.
• Prepare to describe your emotions around this issue.
• Prepare to clarify why this is important, what is at stake to gain or lose for you, for others, for the team or for the organization. How to Interact During a Difficult Conversation • Name the issue. When applicable, identify your contribution to the problem.
• Recognize your responsibility.
• Recognize accomplishments and effort.
• Indicate your wish to resolve the issue.
• Frame comments in terms of perceptions and potential consequences.
• Invite the employee to respond and inquire into the employee’s views. Probe for full understanding. Make sure the employee knows you fully understand and acknowledge his/ her position and interests. How to Resolve a Difficult Conversation • Ask: Where are we now? What is needed for resolution? What was left unsaid that needs saying? What is our new understanding? How can we move forward from here? • Make a new agreement and determine who is accountable for providing a solution.
• Be specific, future-oriented and timely.
• Engage in joint problem solving.
• Give the situation time to improve.
• Invite questions and clarifications; maintain two-way communication. • Acknowledge the other’s concerns; listen for what may be difficult for them to change. • Follow up to help them with new approaches; change is seldom straightforward.
• Agree to follow up in the future.
• Listen calmly; avoid over-explaining.
Source: Difficult Conversations, www.workplaceethicsadvice.com
• Work hard to see the other’s perspective and ask questions to clarify as needed.
• Assume good intentions unless clearly proven otherwise.
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