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The Bledsoe Firm JustFamilyLaw.com | 949.363.5551 DECEMBER | 2025
REDEFINING HOLIDAY HAPPINESS FINDING CALM IN A SEASON THAT CAN FEEL LIKE CHAOS
The holidays are supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year,” right? On the surface, with the lights, music, and amazing traditions, it’s all joy and sparkle. But beneath the glitter, many people are just trying to hold it all together. Between family obligations, financial strain, and the pressure to make everything perfect, December can feel a bit draining. And if you’re going through something incredibly personal, like a divorce or custody issue, that stress can hit even harder. The season that once brought comfort might now stir up uncertainty, sadness, or even guilt. You’re not alone in feeling that way. In fact, December is recognized as National Stress-Free Family Holiday Month, an important reminder that it’s okay to slow down, breathe, and redefine what “holiday happiness” means for you and your family. Here’s the truth: Joy doesn’t have to disappear just because life looks different. It might take a little more intention this year, but with the right mindset and a few simple strategies, the holidays can still hold moments of peace, laughter, and genuine connection. Between holiday shopping, cooking, traveling, and managing family expectations, even the most festive person can start to feel overwhelmed. If you add in a major life change like a divorce, that stress can double. But here’s the good news: There are ways to make this season lighter, calmer, and maybe even a little magical again. KEEP YOUR EXPECTATIONS REALISTIC. It’s easy to get swept up in the idea of the “perfect” holiday while trying to wrap each present beautifully and make each meal Instagram-worthy, but perfection is exhausting, and honestly, overrated. Give yourself permission to scale back. Maybe that means skipping a few traditions, saying no to one
more party, or keeping gifts simple. After all, the holidays are all about enjoying what matters most.
SET BOUNDARIES AND STICK TO THEM. If you’re navigating a divorce or co-parenting arrangement, boundaries are essential. Clear communication, planning ahead, and sticking to your parenting schedule can prevent unnecessary conflict. If emotions start to run high, keep your focus on what’s best for your children. Boundaries are all about creating stability, which lowers everyone’s stress (especially for the kids).
CREATE NEW TRADITIONS. If this is your first holiday season post-divorce, things will likely look different, and that can be difficult. But it can also be an opportunity. You might find joy in starting something new, like a cozy movie night, volunteering as a family, or planning a special “second celebration” on your parenting days. Remember, traditions are all about connection.
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Between the emotional and physical demands of the season, self-care often falls to the bottom of the list. Try to carve out a few minutes each day for yourself. Whether a quiet walk, journaling, or just turning off your phone for an hour, those small breaks can help you stay grounded. When you care for yourself, you show up more calmly and fully for everyone else. ASK FOR HELP. You don’t have to do it all on your own. Reach out to friends, family, or professionals when you need support, whether that’s for childcare, emotional encouragement, or legal guidance. There’s strength in knowing when to lean on others. So, here’s a little reminder for the holidays: Let the wrapping paper pile up for a bit. The holidays don’t have to be flawless to be beautiful. They just have to be yours. —John Bledsoe
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THE TRUTH ABOUT DIVORCE
5 MYTHS YOU SHOULD STOP BELIEVING
Divorce is often surrounded by confusion, fear, and plenty of misinformation. For anyone going through (or considering) a divorce, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by what you hear from friends, social media, or even TV shows. But not everything you hear is true. Let’s debunk some of the most common myths about divorce so you can approach the process with clarity and confidence. MYTH 1: DIVORCE IS ALWAYS A LONG, DRAWN-OUT LEGAL BATTLE. Many people imagine divorce as a months-long courtroom drama. While some cases can be complicated, especially when there are
disputes over property or custody, not every divorce has to go to trial. Mediation, collaborative divorce, and even straightforward agreements can make the process quicker and less stressful. MYTH 2: ONLY UNHAPPY OR ‘BAD’ PEOPLE GET DIVORCED. Divorce isn’t a moral failure. Relationships end for countless reasons: changes in priorities, communication breakdowns, or life circumstances. Ending a marriage can be a healthy choice when staying together is no longer beneficial for either party. MYTH 3: MOTHERS ALWAYS GET CUSTODY OF THE CHILDREN. Custody decisions are not automatically awarded to one parent. Courts generally prioritize the best interests of the child, which can mean joint custody, shared parenting, or primary custody with either parent, depending on the situation. Fathers and mothers both have equal rights in custody discussions. MYTH 4: YOU CAN’T DATE OR MOVE ON QUICKLY AFTER DIVORCE. There’s no legal or moral “waiting period” for starting a new chapter in your life. While it’s important to handle co-parenting and personal healing thoughtfully, moving forward is both possible and healthy when you’re ready. MYTH 5: DIVORCE WILL RUIN YOUR FINANCES FOREVER. While divorce can have financial implications, planning and smart decisions can help you maintain stability. Many people successfully rebuild their finances, manage debt, and even start fresh with a secure financial foundation.
WHEN ‘WHAT IF’ WON’T QUIT HIT PAUSE WHEN YOUR BRAIN WON’T STOP TALKING
We’ve all been there: lying awake at night, replaying conversations, imagining worst-case scenarios, or obsessing over things we can’t change. Overthinking might feel harmless, but when those thoughts keep circling, they can take a toll on your mood, energy, and overall well-being. So, how do you break the cycle? It starts with noticing what’s happening in your mind. Next time your thoughts go into overdrive, pause and ask yourself: What emotion is fueling this? Maybe it’s worry, guilt, or frustration. Recognizing the source is the first step toward loosening its grip. TURN DOWN THE MENTAL VOLUME. When your brain feels stuck on repeat, try redirecting your energy. Dive into a hobby, work out, learn a new recipe, or volunteer for a cause that matters to you. Shifting focus gives your mind a break and can help you feel more grounded. Breathing exercises also work wonders. Place one hand on your heart, one on your belly, and take slow, steady breaths in and out through your nose. It’s simple, but it signals your body to relax and can help calm racing thoughts in just a few minutes. CHALLENGE YOUR THOUGHTS. Automatic negative thoughts (those instant, gloomy reactions) can trap you in “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios. Write them down, seek a more balanced perspective, and see
if you can do anything about them. Taking small, thoughtful actions toward solutions can help quiet the mental noise. And remember, you don’t have to figure it all out alone. Talking to a trusted friend or a therapist can give you a fresh outlook on managing those runaway thoughts.
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W ord S earch
WHICH PATH FITS YOUR SITUATION? Navigating a divorce is never easy. Emotions run high, decisions are complex, and the stakes, whether concerning property, finances, or child custody, feel enormous. When it comes to resolving these issues, couples typically face two primary paths: divorce mediation or the court system. Each has its pros and cons, and understanding them can help you make the best choice for your situation. DIVORCE MEDIATION Mediation is a collaborative process in which a neutral third party, the mediator, helps both spouses reach an agreement. Unlike a judge, the mediator doesn’t make decisions for you; instead, they guide constructive conversations, help identify priorities, and facilitate compromises. One of the primary advantages of mediation is control. You and your spouse remain in charge of the outcomes, rather than leaving them in the hands of a court. Mediation tends to be faster, less expensive, and less adversarial than traditional litigation. It encourages open communication, which can be particularly beneficial if children are involved. Many couples find that mediation reduces long-term conflict because the agreements are mutually developed and more likely to be respected. However, mediation isn’t ideal in every case. If there’s a significant power imbalance, domestic violence, or one spouse refuses to negotiate in good faith, the process may not be effective or safe. COURT DIVORCE Filing for divorce in court is a more formal, legalistic approach. Here, a judge makes the final decisions on unresolved issues, such as asset division, spousal support, and custody arrangements. Court proceedings provide structure and enforceable outcomes, which can be crucial when negotiations break down or legal complexities arise. On the flip side, litigation is typically longer, more expensive, and can be emotionally draining. Court battles can strain relationships further and often lead to rigid outcomes that may not fully reflect either party’s preferences. THE RIGHT PATH Choosing between mediation and court depends on your circumstances, communication style, and goals. Mediation works best when both parties are willing to collaborate and seek a fair resolution. Court may be necessary when safety, fairness, or legal complexities demand judicial intervention. Ultimately, the best approach is the one that protects your rights, supports your emotional well-being, and serves the long-term interests of any children involved. For many, starting with mediation and only moving to court if necessary strikes the right balance between control, cost, and peace of mind. Divorce Dilemmas: Mediation vs. Court
Cardinal
Cookies
Frosty
Gingerbread
Gifts
Menorah
Mittens
Peppermint
Pinecones
Sagittarius
Snowball
Yule
Crispy Prosciutto and Cheese Sliders
INGREDIENTS
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3 oz thinly sliced prosciutto
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1/2 cup melted butter 2 tbsp Dijon mustard 2 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
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1 package dinner rolls, halved lengthwise 1/4 cup fig preserves
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1 tbsp chopped fresh thyme
3/4 cup shredded fontina cheese 3/4 cup shredded Swiss cheese
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2 chopped garlic cloves Black pepper, to taste
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DIRECTIONS
1. Preheat oven to 400 F. 2. On a parchment-lined baking sheet, arrange prosciutto and bake for 8–10 minutes. 3. On a separate lined baking sheet, place the bottom halves of the rolls and spread fig preserves over them. 4. Layer with fontina and Swiss cheese. Top with crispy prosciutto. 5. Place the top half of the rolls over the prosciutto and gently press down. 6. In a bowl, mix butter, Dijon, Worcestershire sauce, thyme, garlic, and black pepper. 7. Pour butter mixture over rolls. Cover with foil and bake 10 minutes. 8. Remove foil and bake an additional 10–15 minutes, and separate before serving.
Inspired by HalfBakedHarvest.com
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Inside
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When ‘The Most Wonderful Time of the Year’ Feels Overwhelming
5 Divorce Myths That Could Be Holding You Back
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Overthinking Overload? Try These Mind-Clearing Tips
Understanding Mediation vs. Court Options
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Crispy Prosciutto and Cheese Sliders
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The Great Travelers of the Animal Kingdom
The World’s Most Remarkable Animal Migrations From Sky to Savannah
THE GREAT WILDEBEEST MIGRATION On the savannahs of East Africa, over a million wildebeest, accompanied by zebras and gazelles, follow the rains in what’s known as the Great Migration. Their route forms a massive loop across the Serengeti and Maasai Mara, filled with dangers, from predators like lions to perilous river crossings guarded by crocodiles. Despite the risks, this spectacle continues each year. ALTITUDINAL MIGRATION While some species traverse continents, others take shorter but equally vital journeys. Many animals, like Red Pandas, spotted owls, and snow leopards, practice altitudinal migration and climb to higher elevations in summer when food is abundant. Then they descend in winter for shelter and warmth. Though smaller in scale, these seasonal shifts are just as critical for survival. Migration is a survival strategy shaped by millions of years of evolution. Nature’s great migrations are living reminders of resilience and interconnectedness. Every journey, whether by bird, butterfly, or wildebeest, shows how far life will go to endure.
Across the globe, animals of all shapes and sizes embark on extraordinary journeys that defy the imagination. Whether by flying, swimming, or running, these migrations are nature’s way of balancing survival with the ever-changing world. Some of these trips cover thousands of miles, while others involve climbing mountains or crossing rivers, but each demonstrates resilience, instinct, and the interconnectedness of life on Earth. A RECORD-BREAKING TRAVELER One of the most remarkable travelers is the Arctic tern, a small seabird from the icy North Pole that flies to the far reaches of Antarctica and back, logging up to 25,000 miles! That’s the longest migration of any animal on the planet. For a bird weighing less than a smartphone, it’s an incredible feat. JOURNEY ACROSS GENERATIONS The monarch butterfly tells a different kind of migration story: one of teamwork across generations. Starting in Canada and the northern U.S., monarchs head south toward central Mexico. Along the way, they breed and die, passing the torch to their offspring. By the time the journey is complete, 4–5 generations have passed over the span of the trip.
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