Janet Gourand
Seven Reasons why we need community — to quit drinking — and then to go on to thrive in our alcohol-free lives. #1 Connection — the road to recovery can be a lonely one. We tend to think there is something wrong with us because we can’t just be happy with “one glass” of wine like some of our friends. We try and we fail — over and over again. The joy of connecting with others on this journey is that we realise that we are not alone. Alcohol is an addictive drug and 20% of social drinkers will become dependent over the years. There is such power and relief in sharing our stories with others in the community. Always remember that “connection is the opposite of addiction”. #2Inspiration — the power of example is strong. We see people hitting their sobriety milestones and going on to experience the benefits of sobriety. We get inspired — if other people like us can do it then so can we! We even see people having slip-ups now and again — and we see the power of the group getting them back on track the very next day. That takes away our fear of failure as we realise that even if we don’t reach 100% perfection we just keep trying until we do. Progress not perfection. #3 Ongoing Support System - as we go through this experience together we create a deep bond with the others in our community. We learn to open up, share our feelings and ask for help. This may not be something we are used to doing in our everyday lives so we may be experiencing “the power of vulnerability” for the very first time. We need a safe space with no judgment. We need support from people who have walked this path before us and that’s exactly what we get when we join a sobriety group. Perspective — the path to recovery is never linear.
There are ups and there are downs. There are stumbling blocks and difficult situations to manage. To be able to reach out to others who have gone through this is essential to stay on track. An example is the dopamine deficit which many of us experience in early sobriety. If we’ve relied on alcohol to make us feel good for years then it can take up to a year for our brains to recalibrate and start producing our natural feel-good hormones. So we end up getting the blues — and wondering if we will ever find joy in our alcohol-free lives. We can reach out for assurance which will keep us powering through those difficult days. #4 Accountability and Motivation fail. In sobriety chat groups, you’ll see members sharing their progress on sobriety trackers and other group members will feel cheer them on and everyone takes genuine pleasure in each other's progress. #5 Learning How To Thrive - 1.— recovery is about so much more than “not drinking”. It’s about creating a new life — a life you don’t want to escape from by numbing out with alcohol. In a sober community members you will find people further down the line than you are – people who are thriving in their alcohol-free lives.That inspires us to think that we will be able to do that as well. We get ideas from them about exercise routines, eating plans, books, and movies. We start to make plans, set goals, and discover more purpose in our lives. We get in touch with our creativity and start to flourish in new and unexpected ways. #6 New Friends — we often have to ditch our drinking buddies along with the drink in early sobriety so we have to make new connections. Connections with people who won’t urge us to have just “one glass” or make us feel weird and boring because we don’t drink.
The Most Important Piece of Sobriety Advice… Ever There is so much sobriety advice out there. It’s hard to believe that just 10 years ago we only had the Big Book but as Susan Christina says “AA is not the only gig in town”. There are so many online sobriety groups, quit lit memoirs and podcasts that someone who is struggling to make a change can easily feel overwhelmed. But if I had to distil all that advice down to one thing — what would it be? Don’t go it alone… This advice comes from the heart as I spent 10 years trying (and failing) to give up drinking alone. A recent study showed that the average time between someone accepting that they had a “problem” with alcohol — and reaching out for help was actually 11 years! That would indicate that there are millions of people trying to do this difficult thing alone — which is a shame when there are many communities who are willing and able to help. We need to find our people – we need to find our tribe.
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