DEAR GEE
LETTER FROM READER
I Dear Gee, I lost my Mum in the last year and although I have kept sober (at times it was touch and go) I continue to feel that drinking is an option at some point in the future or when the day gets too much. We are coming to her first anniversary in late August and it is only now I am feeling her loss as I have been the Executor of her estate and busy with that admin stuff. I do know if she had known how much I drank when she was alive she would have been very disappointed. With this big grief moment coming up, I am terrified I will just cave and let down my husband and kids and the memory of my Mum, please help..... Love from Lilly-345@cuckoomail.com Dear Lilly-345 , I am so sorry for your loss, grief is so difficult for everyone, in recovery or not! You are right, this moment could be a trigger when you are looking for comfort. The answer is NOT down the neck of a bottle. Do something positive with those emotions, you can make yourself and your family proud. You’re doing it now, reaching out to people who can be by your side. My personal thought is nothing is harder than burying someone you love. A year on, you are remembering that pain and hurt. The reality is this is just another day, you have not had your Mum for the last 365 days, and you have been sober , this is to be celebrated! Use this time to remember her with clarity of thought and honour her memory with sober strength. Remember how far you have come and how proud she will be that you are now sobe r. Drinking is NOT an option, NOT EVER. It will not help you, it won’t make you fee l better, it won’t even drown your sorrow . It will make you more depressed, more disappointed and you’ll be back at square one. You’ve come too far to have this as a consideration. So, honour her memory. Protect yourself, reach out to your group of sober sisters, they are experts in grief and loss. Accept the feelings of grief and pain, it is real, seek counselling it too can help, and do whatever you need to do to get you through the day. Remember you have 365 days under your belt, tried and tested and you are here, sober! Your sadness is real and normal. Seek comfort in positive behaviours. Load your fridge with Nosecco and chocolate, and have your friends on speed dial. You are not alone and you have people around you who can help. . Lots of luck xxx
THRIVING WITH NATURE We all live with worries and fears, uncertainties, losses that leave us sad and pressures that make us feel stressed. Nature can have a really calming effect on us. We have been living around other animals and plants for thousands of years. Some people say nature helps them feel calmer, more hopeful and less alone. Our research found that going for a walk was the UK adults’ favourite way of coping with stress during the pandemic in 2020. In Japan, some people use “forest bathing”, which may improve their mental health. So going to a forest or wood and experiencing the different smells, sounds and textures may really help. To get the best out of nature’s healing effects, try tuning your senses to what’s around you – the trees, plants, birds and animals, for instance, and water such as ponds or the seashore. Take a deep breath and see how you feel. The idea is to get connected with your natural surroundings.
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