READY FOR A NEW HUSBAND Q. I am a Christian with a problem. My husband and I have been mar ried for nearly twenty years. For the last five years, my husband has been mentally ill. Before, this, we had a very pleasant marriage. It has been hard for me to realize that I must now face the present and future by myself and to wake up to the facts as they are. For the last two years, I have known that I was growing indiffer ent toward my husband. He has had no interest in the home, in working around the home, in his appearance, or in sex. Because of his filth, I re fused to go places with him or have anything to do with him. He con stantly asked me to put him with his own kind. A fter months of trying to decide about this, I finally came to the conclusion that this was his wish and what I should do. So I now have him in a mental hospital. I know that I’ve built a wall between us. I can’t feel the same toward him as I did before his illness. Actually he is not the same man anymore. I’m asking you, would I be doing wrong if I got a divorce? He has been diagnosed as a para noid schizophrenic. Now that I have put him with his kind and granted his wish, he always keeps asking me to take him out of the hospital. I don’t miss him. I feel relieved to know where he is. I am healthy and alert and I still have many years ahead of me. I want to start a new life with someone new. Would I be doing wrong to do this? A. You do need to start life anew with a new person. But the person you need to start life with is the Lord Jesus Christ. You evidently have a serious problem o f your own. You say that you are a Christian,
ed the divorce proceedings. She al most secured her divorce, but she became ill, so she went home to live with her husband. Finally she de veloped cancer. Then he took care of her, nursed her, and finally buried her. I thought to myself, “ She was trying to get rid of him, when actu ally he was the only one in the world who really loved her, and would care for her when she was dying.” SENIOR PROBLEMS Q. In our high school I am taking a course called, “senior problems.” It has to do with personal problems. What do you think of such courses? A. Each year more high schools offer a course dealing with personal prob lems, family relations and sex educa tion. Many parents as well as educa tors feel that these courses are valu able inasmuch as young people are getting married at a younger age than they did formerly. They also claim that if a wholesome course is not offered in high school, most of the students will never get any help along this line. Furthermore, there has been a seri ous collapse of our family life in America. So many couples are getting divorces that the school authorities believe that a high school course in family life education would help remedy the situation to some degree. The disadvantage that I might find with such courses for Christian youth is that the content may not be Christ- centered, and the teacher may not be a Christian. No doubt you can gain much from the course, but I believe that you should realize that the orien tation is probably secular, and not Christian. I think it behooves the Christian family and the evangelical church to consider its obligation -to their fine young people concerning this type of training.
but one might wonder. If so, you may be an immature person in need of real spiritual growth. You are married. You are married for life. Unless your husband dies or is immoral, you have no grounds for remarriage. You married him for better or for worse. Now you can be a great blessing to him. Getting married again will not solve any of your problems. You may be disturbed and in need of professional counseling. Just getting rid of this husband now that he is in a mental institution, and taking on another husband will not make you happy. What you need is insight and a new nature and a new attitude. This can come by counseling with a Christian, perhaps a pastor, in five or six sessions. Through counseling you will gain insight into your own life and the reason why you have caused your husband to become men tally ill (if you have). You should learn what your part in this mental illness has been, and what you can do in the future. Your husband can probably get well, if you can change your own attitudes. But if you run off and leave him now, he will prob ably not recover. He can come back from that other world. And you, of course, are the key to much of his recovery. If you had become ill, do you think he would have dumped you? Neither should you dump him when he is ill. This is the time when he needs you most. You seem to have the feeling, according to your letter, that life is over for him. But it is not. He is a relatively young man, and he has many years ahead of him. He may outlive you, and when he gets well you might find yourself in need of his love and care. I knew a woman once who wanted to get rid o f her husband. So she got the attorneys together and start
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THE KING'S BUSINESS
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