Dr. Narramore, graduate of Columbia University, New York City, is a psychologist and Consultant in Research and Guidance with one of the largest scheel systems in the United States.
fessional consultants—marriage coun selors who can minister to specialized needs. In seeking such help we do not minimize the power of God, nor do we reveal a lack of faith. Many times God answers our prayers in miracu lous ways. At other times He uses specially trained people to meet our needs. I have known fine, consecrated Christians, who, because of various reasons, had unhappy marriages. But after seeking professional counsel, they were exceedingly happy, and able to serve the Lord in much better ways. Of course it is best to go to a Christian counselor, especially if your problem centers in your relationship to God. Howe.ver, I realize that it is almost impossible to find one who has real spiritual depth and who has had excellent professional training in psychology. Since you are both ma ture, Bible-believing Christians, and since you are trusting in God to meet your need, you should not hesitate to seek help. Your problem may have very few spiritual aspects. In summary may I say that I wish more Christians were sufficiently con cerned about their unhappy marriages to seek help. Too, I wish that we could encourage more brilliant, con secrated young people to enter the field of psychology, specializing in marriage counseling. Q . My husband has a problem. He walks and talks in his sleep. He has done this almost all of his life. 1 am a light sleeper and can usually get him back to bed. He is a very sweet, wonderful Christian man. He has lately become very worried that he may get violent some night and hurt me or our small son. I am not afraid HE W ALKS AN D TALKS IN HIS SLEEP
MARR IAGE COUNSELOR Q . Is it ever advisable for Christian people to consult a marriage counse lor? My husband and I are both Christians. We believe God is able to help us solve our problems, and we have been praying about the diffi culties in our marriage. We really need help. Would this show a lack of faith and dependence upon God, or is it a reasonable thing to seek pro fessional help just as we would in matters of physical health? A. I certainly do believe it is advis able for some Christian couples to consult a marriage counselor. Mar riage is just as complex as it is won derful, and it requires much wisdom. It involves spiritual, emotional, physi cal, social, intellectual, vocational, psychological and other aspects. Most Christians would not hesitate to consult a dentist regarding their teeth, nor would they hesitate to see a medical doctor about a physical ail ment. And yet when concerned about the very important relationship — marriage, they are apt to overlook professional help. You say that you believe God is able to help you solve your problems. Of course God is! No doubt He has already helped you many times. But God does not always promise to do for us what we can, and should do for ourselves. The Bible gives us an outline for living, but it doesn’t fill in all of the details. It does not provide minute in structions for every event and for every hour of the day. God has given to man all of the natural resources and all of the intelligence necessary to carry on the work of the world. He expects us to establish govern ments, build bridges, cook our food, engage in various professions and do many other things that make up liv ing. And so there is a place for pro
of him, and I tell him I don’t think the Lord would allow such a thing to happen. He is still worried. Last night he dreamed he beat our small son terribly in his sleep. I know this bothers him. Is there any way to help a sleepwalker? A. May I assure you that your hus band’s basic problem is not his walk ing and talking in his sleep. Instead, it is a basic emotional and mental disturbance which is reflected in the symptoms you have mentioned. Sleep walking and talking is usual ly the result of unresolved conflicts in a person’s life. It is quite possible that during his childhood and youth ful days your husband suffered from emotional deprivations. In other words, his basic emotional needs might not have been met. This pro duced many conflicts which have nev er been resolved. What he needs now is professional counseling. You live near enough to the Christian Counseling Center in Pasadena to come and get the needed help. We would use the first session to get acquainted with your husband. The next few sessions would be de voted to psychological testing. In this way we could understand scientifical ly the dynamics of his behavior. Based upon this, we would then be gin counseling therapy. This may re quire only a few sessions or it may require several. But as he gains in sight into the causes of his emotional distress and as he discusses them fully with his therapist, these im pulses will begin to lose their hold so that he will not walk and talk in his sleep. In your letter you say that he has become worried about getting violent and hurting you or your son. This is undoubtedly all part of his general emotional and mental dis turbance and will clear up when he has professional counseling.
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