for one another. Sounds sentimental, I know, but we en joyed a “ togetherness” which made us lonely when we were separated. I confess, Sis, that we were pretty affec tionate on some of our dates. During our senior year, we began talking about my future at the Harvard School of Law (sounds hollow now) and of our intended marriage as soon as I passed my bar exams. She was going to take nurses’ training and then start saving for her hope-chest . . . which to Sally meant all the furniture we would need for the rest of our lives. But now everything is changed and I want you to understand why. It was one of those Saturday night “ in-the-place-of- the-Senior Prom” church banquets. A swanky hotel, flower-decorated tables and dim lights formed the setting for about 150 church kids dressed in formals. The feature of the evening was a ventriliquist named Al. His puppet was a saucy little character called Joe. As I recall, their chit-chat went like this: Joe — “ I don’t understand why so many of these people came late to this banquet.” Al — “What do you mean, Joe? No one came late.” Joe — “Oh, yes, they did, lots of them came late.” Al —•“Now, Joe, be reasonable, I know they came on time. What makes you say they came late?” Joe .-«si«“That’s easy. Can’t you see, the girls came in their nighties.” Everyone roared — that is, almost everyone. But, frankly, Joe wasn’t the only dummy to whom the flimsy, low-necked evening gowns were suggestive of something other than modesty. Though I had eyes of love for only Sally, yet I couldn’t keep my eyes from scanning some of the tempt ing scenery close by. The question actually ran through my mind as to how many of those swell Christian girls would get home by 3:00 a.m. as unruffled and unhandled as when they arrived at the banquet. Was it possible that those pretty gals were so naive they didn’t know that bare shoulders were an invitation for fellows to treat them in ways only a husband should treat his wife? Were their moms (who ought to know men) ignorant of the danger they were putting their daughters in when they sent them out for the evening dressed in “nighties?” And, Marge, this is where Sally’s mother failed. The Bible says mothers are to teach their daughters to be modest, pure, and serious minded. (Titus 2:4, 5) But who am I to talk? Before morning Sally and I were in trouble. I love her deeply and would not de liberately have caused her any heartache. But she was wearing an enticing strapless gown and as I held her in my arms I was overcome with the feeling that she was all mine as never before. I know I am looking at this through a fellow’s eyes, but perhaps it will help you, Sis, to know how a fellow reacts under given circumstances. Perhaps it will keep you from throwing unnecessary temptation in the face of some fellow you admire and want to love. If Mom hasn’t told you already, then as a big brother I will tell you that high hems, low necklines, and skin tight shorts have a way of getting a -fellow “ all shook up.” Any doctor will tell you that physical appetites in boys are more intense than in girls. A pretty face and an attractive figure, especially if it is only partly clothed, can be devastating to all the good intentions and high morals a fellow may have.
It is just masculine nature to be aggressive and pos sessive in this thing called romance. If love-making were just a game, it would be different, Marge, but it’s for keeps. Exposed limbs or a sweater-exaggerated figure is the only trigger a fellow needs to start his mind racing down an adventurous path which is both slippery and dangerous. Physiologically he has shifted into high gear while the girl friend is still running in low. But, Sis, the barricades are in your hands — you set the limits — you call the signals. The fellow who really likes you will go no farther than you allow. I know the Bible doesn’t say the hem of your dress should be no less than 12 inches from the ground. It doesn’t mention the kind of sweaters, blouses, shorts, or Bermudas you should wear. But it does have plenty to say about modesty and morality. Solomon says the price of a virtuous woman (and that includes morals) is far above rubies. In I Timothy 2:9 Paul says women are to be dressed in modest apparel. The important thing is that your body has been bought with a price. It really belongs to God. It should be given only to the fellow God has for you and in His time. If your body is daily presented to the Lord as a living offering you will be plenty careful about the one into whose arms you give yourself. You will consult God about it and you will not make promises or contracts except with the one He approves. This sounds like preaching, Sis, but perhaps it is one of those important sermons you will never hear from the pulpit. If you win a fellow to yourself only through the attractiveness of your figure, you will find yourself married to a husband whose main interest is the flesh. If you win a husband through the beauty of your per sonality, you will experience the lovely joy of living with a man whose life contributes to the growth of your character. I know you idealize a Christian home in which you will pray with the man God brings into your life. May I suggest, Sis, that you have no right to become serious with any fellow with whom you cannot pray. The Bible says your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. This means that He should guide you in the places you go and the things you do. He always does those things which reveal God and which please Christ. If you are led by the Spirit of God, you will glorify Christ even in your dating. He alone can give you the strength to resist the natural desires and lusts of the flesh.
Then there is another way to look at this. Paul said that if meat-eating would offend his brother, he would quit eating meat. As a Christian girl, you owe it to every fellow you know to avoid putting temptation before him. Even though there is no Scripture which measures the length of your dress, it is your duty to avoid casting a stumbling block before your saved or unsaved friends. Maybe you will think I am bragging about you . . . I am. You are attractive and you have a swell person ality. But the most beautiful thing about you, Marge, is the purity of your heart, the strength of your char acter, and your spiritual poise. It’s because I love the Lord and because I think you are the most, that I want you to guard all of this with real diligence. Please continue to pray for Sally, Jeff and me. Give our love to Mom and Dad. Yours, Bud Afrank appeal fo r teenage modesty
MAY, 1964
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