TALKING IT OYER with Dr. Clyde M. Narramore
Dr. Narramore, graduate ef Columbia University, New York City, is a nationally known psychologist. He is the director ef one of America's
LONELY YOUNG WOMAN YIELDS TO TEMPTATION
Q. Can I find peace o f mind and sat isfaction in my life as a single girl? I would like to share my problem with you because I need advice from a professional psychologist such as you. I am a young, unmarried woman. I make friends easily, but single, Christian men seem few and far be tween. I’ve found no one in recent years to really go out with. A married man at the office seemed very much attracted to me and because I was so lonesome, I was taken in by him and fell into im morality. I have paid a great price for this sin which had never hap pened before in my life. The pleas ure I thought I would receive only led to heartache and suffering. It has hurt me very deeply as my emo tions were much greater than his at the time. I have asked God’s forgiveness and have found fellowship in a good church, but the guilt o f my sin won’t leave me even though I’ve confessed it to the Lord. I am miserable at the office each day. Should I make a move to get away from it? Please advise me what to do. A. Moving away may give you some help, but it will not remove the guilt complex. There is only one way which real guilt and sin can be dis missed from a person’s life; that is by praying to God and trusting in Him to forgive us completely. We must accept His forgiveness. There is such a thing as pseudo-guilt . . . guilt brought on by the environ ment. A mother, father, or a rela tive may continually make a child feel guilty. As such a child grows to manhood or womanhood, he may have continuous guilt feelings. Then, there is real guilt that is brought on by transgression of God’s laws, and unless this is confessed to God and His forgiveness sought and accepted, may continue to be a real psycho logical problem over a long period of time. Believe John 1 :29 and I John 1:7-9.
largest psychological clinics— The Christian Counseling center in Pasadena, California.
farther into debt by doing so. We are operating in the red. Many months we don’t get enough income to cover all the bills, and then we must borrow more. It seems like a never-ending thing. He writes out checks, dating them ahead, asking his creditors to hold them. Many times checks come back because of insufficient funds. He will buy from one company until he owes them so much that they won’t give him any more credit; then he’ll buy from another. He owes nearly all the peo ple with whom he does business. I am growing more resentful and bitter. I have been on the verge of a collapse because o f all these debts, but nothing seems to move my hus band to make any change. I am con cerned fo r the future o f our chil dren. I feel that as Christians we leave a very poor testimony by doing this. Sometimes I almost feel as though I hate my husband; and I know that this is wrong. I don’t know what to do. I can’t even talk things over with him. He has told me that I just don’t have faith. Please help me! A , Your husband may be in the wrong kind of work—a vocation for which he is unsuited. He may also have a rather severe personality problem which hinders him in his business, and prevents a good mar riage adjustment as well. If so, your husband should sit down with a pro fessionally-trained person who can help him to understand his basic emotional problems as well as his vocational aptitudes. He may also benefit by discussing his business procedures with another businessman. One who is successful in his business could advise him on business procedures and financial matters.
I find as a professional person in the field of psychology that there are many, many people who have this kind of problem. Their sin and guilt may not have been thoroughly expiated and taken care of in their lives; it may have been only glossed over or covered and then, of course, it comes up again later on. Such a con dition needs to be dealt with by a deeply spiritual person who can counsel in several sessions or more— a minister, a minister’s wife, or a Christian psychologist or counselor. There may be another reason why this young woman is having prob lems. She may be a problem-laden person. Anyone laden with problems will find that any kind of guilt or sin will become very exaggerated. The problem may not be basically her single state; getting married doesn’t help such a person to be happy, necessarily. Happiness has to do with our relationship to God as well as being well adjusted and un derstanding ourselves. Being in the center of God’s will for our lives— being in the kind of work which we are supposed to be doing— is also important to our happiness. So often married women say to me, “ If I were unmarried again, I would be very happy.” Unmarried women think if they were married, this would bring them happiness, but being single is not their major prob lem, but rather a basic personality difficulty which needs professional help. POOR BUSINESS MANAGER Q. Can you help me? My husband and I are drifting apart because of financial matters. He insists on con tinuing his business, and is going
THE KING'S BUSINESS
30
Made with FlippingBook - Online catalogs