May 2019 Soto’s Chronicles
DeDe Soto
Protecting your most valuable asset — your family
PARENTING CAN’T CHANGE PERSONALITY The Biggest Factors in Child Development
FROM THE DESK OF DeDe Soto
HAPPY MAY
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there; even the mothers of furry friends!
As you prepare for the Memorial Day weekend and the kickoff to summer barbecues and fun, make sure to protect those you love. There are many ways to do this, especially if you have older family members. You want to make sure their bills are being paid and that they have healthy food available. But remember, socialization is the best way to keep the mind in a happy and safe place. So, don’t just provide for them, make sure to have friends and family visit them as well. To make sure you and your family are prepared please come to one of our workshops and become educated. The last thing you want in your life is a conservatorship over a loved one.
Until next time, many blessings,
If you’re looking to stir up some parental anxiety, all that’s needed is a quick Google search for “parenting books.”There, you’ll find countless volumes urging you to restructure your child- rearing strategy. Maybe you need to be sterner, start tracking their screen time, or engage in more meaningful play. Maybe you’re helping them out too much or leaving them alone with their thoughts too often. Or maybe, like many parents, you’re simply paralyzed by the overwhelming amount of parenting advice offered by professionals and well-meaning relatives alike. You’re expected to instill fitness habits that will keep them healthy for years to come, keep them stimulated to foster their intelligence and curiosity, and prevent them from hurting themselves or their chances for success down the road. Traditional thinking dictates that the responsibility of molding your kids into happy, well-adjusted adults falls squarely on your shoulders, hence the overwhelming flood of child-rearing manuals.
But what if all those books promising the perfect technique to pave the way for your children’s futures are wrong? What if your child’s future is molded, in large part, by external influences?
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THE PROBLEMWITH NURTURE ALONE
manner.”He argues that most of this research fails to zero in on the fact that parents transmit genes to their children and provide themwith a certain environment, which may have more meaningful effects on their development. A growing body of research indicates that the most influential factors that affect your child’s growth are “who you are, how much money you make, and where you live,” as David Roberts writes for Vox. While your parenting decisions can certainly affect your child’s quality of life, they are unlikely to do much in the way of preparing them for success down the line, or at least not nearly as much as their genetics, peers, and unique experiences will. Research shows that, generally, siblings who are raised by the same parents are unlikely to be much more similar to one another than if had they been separated their entire lives.
and neglect have powerful, long-term effects on a child that will follow them into adulthood. Pink says that you may not be able to change their personalities any more than you can change the personality of your spouse, but you can certainly provide a positive environment for them to live and grow in. Turning every single moment with your kids into a potential developmental tool or learning opportunity will drive you crazy, potentially cheapen the quality of your interactions, and force you to not be genuinely present in your child’s life. Parenting isn’t a process wherein a constructive input goes in and a well-adjusted child comes out. It’s a dynamic relationship, a life being lived in real time, and it should be enjoyed and considered on its own terms. Do your best and check out what research you can, but you should understand that your influence can only go so far. Your most important job is to be there for your kids and foster connections that they can carry with them for the rest of their lives.
In her novel, “The Nurture Assumption,” scientist Judith Rich Harris breaks down what she sees as the pervasive myth of the parent’s outsized influence on their child’s life. In it, she argues that the power of individual parenting styles has little sway when compared to genetic, cultural, socioeconomic, and environmental influences. This may sound shocking, dubious, and maybe a little disturbing to budding parents trying to get a grip on their challenging new venture, but it starts to make sense after you examine the research behind this new parenting philosophy. are useless.”By and large, he argues, they don’t control for heritability.“They measure some behavior in the parents; they measure some trait in the children; they show there’s a correlation, and they assume that correlation implies causation— it must have been the parenting behavior that shaped the child in the As Steven Pinker said in a lecture for his book “The Blank Slate,”“Most studies of parenting
SO, WHAT’S TO BE DONE?
Of course, as Steven Pinker says, these findings don’t mean that it doesn’t matter how you treat your children. Trauma, abuse, abandonment,
Genealogy Sites and the Warming of Cold Cases The Revolution in Forensic Science Continues to Captivate the Masses
We’ve come a long way in the field of forensic science since 1986, when DNA was first used to convict someone in court. In 2019, criminals who would have
Whatever the motivation was behind genealogy sites in the beginning, they’re now some of the most sought-after databases in the world and are worth billions for their collection of the most personal consumer data in existence. Using these websites’ data, investigators can make DNA matches with potential offenders. The most famous recent case is the successful apprehension of Joseph James DeAngelo, otherwise known as the Golden State Killer. After 13 murders and dozens of assaults, he was finally brought to justice after investigators matched his DNA to the evidence found at the crime scenes. They gained access to his DNA from the personal genomics site GEDmatch. Although access to the data of popular sites like 23andMe and Ancestry. com is restricted to its customers, law enforcement agencies successfully subpoenaed the companies to hand over the requested data. With the ability to theoretically solve any crime with preserved DNA, law enforcement and websleuths alike are foaming at the mouth at the possibilities genealogy testing has to offer. If only we’d preserved some of Jack the Ripper’s DNA!
gotten away with their crimes in the past are now put behind bars where they belong. The advent of genealogy testing has been thrust into the spotlight with high-profile cases that were solved by sequestering information from sites like 23andMe and Ancestry.com. With this revolution in DNA testing on the rise, there’s really no end to the impossible-to-solve cold cases that can finally be put to rest.
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Leaving a Legacy of Giving Making Charity a Part of Your Estate Plan
MATCH THE ASSETS TO THE CHARITY
Your estate plan is far more than just a set of documents. It’s a declaration of what you find most important and a roadmap of the legacy you’d like to leave. Not only does a proper estate plan ensure that your loved ones will be taken care of when you’re gone, but it also allows you to make an impact on the wider world through charitable giving. Many avenues exist for making planned gifts to nonprofits, but here are some of the basics on how to make giving a part of your plan. The most basic way to give to a charity is by naming it in your will. Simply name the charitable organization you wish to support among your beneficiaries, and specify the assets you wish to give. If estate or income taxes are a concern, ensure your chosen organization is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit. These are the charities the IRS deems tax-exempt. NAME A CHARITY IN YOURWILL
Almost all charities will accept cash bequests, though it is always a good idea to notify an organization about what you are planning to give. Smaller philanthropies may not accept complex assets, such as stocks or real estate. On the other hand, some charities may specialize in specific assets. For example, if your home is considered a historic site within your town, you may want to gift it to a preservation society so that it stays properly maintained. There are different ways to structure a charitable bequest, giving you the flexibility to make sure your estate planning goals are met. If you have a set sum of money or a particular asset you wish to leave to a charity, you can make a specific bequest in your will. However, if you want to ensure your loved one’s needs DECIDE HOW TO GIVE
are met before giving a portion of your estate to charity, you can make what’s known as a residuary gift. With a residuary gift, once debts have been paid off and your other beneficiaries have received their bequests, a specified percentage of your remaining estate will go to a charity of your choice.
OTHER AVENUES
Depending on your income level and the kinds of assets in your estate, more complex means of making a planned gift may be available to you. Talk to your estate planner to see if creating a charitable trust or establishing a foundation is the right move for you.
Take a Break!
Inspired by Food & Wine magazine
STRAWBERRY MANGO PALETAS Ingredients
• 1 1/4 cups strawberries, chopped 1/2 cup granulated sugar 3 tablespoons fresh lime juice 1. In a saucepan, toss strawberries with 1/4 cup sugar and let stand at room temperature for 15 minutes. 2. Add 1/4 cup water and bring to a simmer over moderate heat. Cook strawberries until mixture thickens, about 5 minutes. 3. Remove fromheat and stir in 1 tablespoon of lime juice and 1/4 teaspoon of salt. Let cool completely, about 45 minutes. 4. Meanwhile, in a blender, purée mangoes with 1/4 cup sugar, 2 tablespoons lime juice, and 1/4 teaspoon salt until smooth. Scrape into a mediumbowl Directions • •
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1/2 teaspoon kosher salt 2 medium ripe mangoes, peeled, pitted, and chopped
and clean the blender. Then, purée strawberry mixture until smooth. 5. Into 8 3-ounce ice popmolds, spoon 2 tablespoons mango purée. Add 2 tablespoons strawberry purée to eachmold, then top with remainingmango purée, leaving 1/2 inch between filling and top of mold. 6. Using a small knife, gently swirl layers together. 7. Insert ice pop sticks and freeze until solid. 8. Dipmolds in hot water for a few seconds, then unmold paletas and serve immediately.
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INSIDE THIS ISSUE From the Desk of DeDe PAGE 1 Parenting Can’t Change Personality PAGE 1 Genealogy Sites Provide Breakthroughs in Cold Cases PAGE 2 Making Charity a Part of Your Estate Plan PAGE 3 Take a Break PAGE 3 Strawberry Mango Paletas PAGE 3 The Golden Era of Athletes on Social Media PAGE 4
Out of the Dark and Onto theWeb The Golden Era of Athletes on Social Media It’s not an overstatement to say that social media has revolutionized the way we live our lives today. But with that massively powerful platform comes a massive responsibility, especially if you’re already in the spotlight. Athletes have taken the opportunity social media affords them to build their personal brands and engage in community outreach with the fans who look to them as role models, but there’s a downside to cataloging years of unfiltered thoughts on the internet. For better or worse, social media is here to stay, and we have full access to all the drama that unfolds for our entertainment. Despite the web’s potential for good, some pros can’t seem to get the message that every post falls under the scrutiny of the public. PR firms representing players have now made it a top priority to keep their clients’ images in line by scrubbing old posts that could be offensive and land them in hot water. Still, though, it seems like there’s a new controversy every week. One of the best examples comes courtesy of former football star “Johnny Football”Manziel. The former Heisman Trophy winner was notorious for posting embarrassing images of himself partying when he should
have been practicing, and he often blasted his private issues in public, seemingly with no filter. He’s out of a job now, most recently having been banned from the Canadian Football League. For every bad apple, though, there is a bushel of athletes who use their platforms for the greater good. Houston Texans defensive end J.J. Watt, five-time Pro Bowler and NFL star, has used his social media “juice” to spread the word about his charity, raising over $4.6 million for youth athletic programs and organizations. Philanthropy aside, part of the beauty of celebrity social media is that the people who seem so much larger than life become accessible because of it. In decades past, you might have written a letter that, if you were fortunate, got a response from some unpaid intern. Today, fans can reach out directly to their favorite athletes. It is a personal connection unparalleled in history. What a time to be alive.
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For more information: Call: 888-735-7686 | www.TheSotoLawGroup.com | DeDe@thesotolawgroup.com For more information: Call: 888-735-7686 | www.TheSotoLawGroup.com | DeDe@thesotolawgroup.com
FREE WORKSHOP ESTATE PLANNING 101 MONDAY MAY 20 TH AT 6:30 PM Register online at TheSotoLawGroup.com/workshops.shtml
REGISTRATION REQUIRED! This workshop is free to attend, but you must register. Light appetizers and refreshments will be served. Register at: www.thesotolawgroup.com/ Workshops.shtml or call us at 888-735-7686 LOCATION:
Come and learn how to protect your family and your assets from the top ten estate planning mistakes!
This workshop is informative and will help you discover how you can protect your loved ones should something happen to you. Even if you have an estate plan or a living trust, new laws and overlooked items may mean your current plan is out of date or won’t work as intended.
IN ADDITION, THIS WORKSHOP WILL COVER: ➢ ➢ Learn the difference between a will and a trust ➢ ➢ How to name the right guardians for your minor children ➢ ➢ Health Care Directives done correctly ➢ ➢ Legally avoid ALL estate taxes and probate ➢ ➢ Protect your kid’s inheritance from lawsuits and divorce. ➢ ➢ Ensure that your family is prepared for life without you ➢ ➢ Leave a legacy that will last for generations
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ABOUT R. DEDE SOTO, ESQ. With more than 15 years of legal experience, R. DeDe Soto is prepared to provide you with the knowledgeable advice and skilled representation you need. DeDe is focused on providing personalized, tailor-made legal solutions that protect the assets and the wishes of her clients.
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