Gratitude in the Age of Coronavirus
Lying in my cozy bed, staring at the ceiling while sniffing and hugging my friend, Camo, tears trail down my cheeks, blurring the whiteness of the ceiling. Camo is my closest friend since I moved to Doha, Qatar, from Gaza. He is a good listener – and the only one who listens to me now that we’re stuck in quarantine together. He’s the only one I’ve been in contact with all this time. We have been friends since December, when I decided to buy him during a visit to the Museum of Islamic Art. Camo, my faithful, fluffy, stuffed camel. I don’t know if I will ever be close to another human again. I never thought that touching humans, even shaking hands, would be considered unsafe and unhealthy. Being stared at for not wearing a face mask surprises me as well. Face masks are now the norm, and shopping is considered challenging and risky. It seems that life is teaching us an age-old lesson: We should never take anything for granted. My journey with COVID-19 started with flu-like symptoms that lasted for about three days, followed by almost a week of complete loss of smell and taste. The first day I lost my smell and taste drove me crazy. I was eating my Iftar meal when I became aware of a weird sensation: I could not smell or taste the food I had waited all day to eat. I squeezed drops of lemon juice in my mouth, nothing. I fanned my body to get a whiff of my cologne, body spray, face cream, shampoo … anything. It was all in vain. Frantic, I left my meal and I chopped up an onion and peeled garlic to taste and smell. My nose and mouth were completely numb. I silently begged my senses to wake up, but still they slept. I felt like I was about to collapse but held tight to my kitchen sink. I wished Mom or a family member or even a friend could be there to give me a hug. A hug. Would that ever happen? I was lonely. But, as I recalled the date of this holy month, I knew I was not alone. Perversely, my strength and resilience were boosted by the notion that all I had was God and myself.
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