MARKETING HOW-TO CONTINUED ...
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Your copy should speak to one person, not a group of people.
CTA, or it may be more copy, but either way, you need to solve the problem for them. In advanced copy, you might not solve the problem until later, but that’s not what was going on here. Make an offer. This is likely the largest mistake. Her “offer” simply said to go to her website, and that’s no offer at all. Assume the sale in the close. “Talk to you soon,” is at least a small assumption of a close. I’m sure there are other points my copywriting friends could share with us to improve both her copy and mine, but I am 100 percent confident my copy would get some appointments, and I’m 99 percent sure her copy won’t get any appointments. Have a P.S. Most people read the P.S.
Copy doesn’t have to be hard. Think of how you’d talk to a prospect if they were sitting in front of you, and write just like that. Hopefully, this critique and the above tips are helpful. –Shaun
Provide good information that is useful and interesting to the reader.
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Make sure each sentence adds value to the message and goal of the piece you’re writing. Some of the sentences in her email served no purpose. Move the prospect through a journey so that the logical conclusion is to take your CTA (call to action).
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Get the prospect thinking about the future and what could be.
When you acknowledge a problem (as she did, with the difficulty of targeting new movers and birthday mailers), make sure you give the reader a clear solution to the problem. That solution may be your
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