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Dispatches from the Highlands
News from CannaTown NOV-DEC 2022
Vol 9. Edition 2
$4.20 Cents
TOWN RUNS OUT OF TINSEL; PRICE SOARS CHRISTEMBER TREES LOOK "BARE" WITH SOLELY A T-SHIRT
********* Citizens ask whether they'll need to start making homemade tinsel with all the le over popcorn still lying around - full story pg B17 THE SPARKLY MATERIAL REACHES $42 PER FOOT, HIGHEST LEVEL SINCE 1940
Grow's Ground Broken Construction, Page 6 A ten-mile growhouse is moving for- ward; drones footage shows the colossal construction to be underway and smoky. See Construction. ......................Page 6
Recession On Way Rich Asshat, Page 8
A particularly diplomatic yet egre- giously unaware wealthy twat tells a tent city that a recession is coming. See Rich Asshat........ ................Page 8 Goat or G.O.A.T? Album Notes, Page 14 New albums, old albums -- they’re all game as Erickson takes on the soundtrack to your chill. See Album Notes. ..................Page 14 Holidaze Crunch Cousin D Recipe, Page 15 Savor for yourself or be the life of the party! Cooking with THC made easy. See Recipe ................................Page 15 Eco-Activists Bi It News in Brief, Page 7 Weekly CannaScopes See Fortunes, Page 7 CannaSaver TM Today’s Coupons feature:
City Closes BTPB Toasters, Page 9
A super-high court has ruled that the Bathtub Toaster Protection Bureau must close, shocking bathers. See Toasters............ ...................Page 9 THE *HOT* SH*T Gift Guide, Page 10 We've assembled your best picks all in one spread! What to buy the loved one who has it all? How about, a Breadhat? See Gi Guide.......... ................Page 10 Man Won't Step Down Train Platform, Page 12
Deals In Your Area! Local Maps, Page 17
SOUTHERN COLORADO CANNABIS LISTINGS Addresses, Phone by Categories: Doctors . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 Dispensaries . . . . . . . . . . 21 Hemp/CBD.. . . . . . . . . . 28 GlassShops ........... 29 VapeShops ........... 31 Kratom/Herbal . . . . . . . . . 32 Grow Stores . . . . . . . . . . . 32 CBD Massage . . . . . . . . . . 32
MERRY CHRISTEMBER! THE EDITORS WISH YOU A
Kanopya Springs Colorado Springs Page 45 Emerald City Colorado Springs Page 41
NuVue Pharma CO Springs, Pueblo, Trinidad Page 49
21+ Tourist? Recreational Shops Listings on Page 21! FIRST-TIME SPECIALS LIST pg 16 **** SAVE BIG WITH COUPONS pg 33
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Dispatches from the Highlands
$4.20 Cents
Cannatown News
Town Breaks Ground on 10-mile Growhouse
Cannapages is a JohnsonConcept Company Published by e Highest Authority Since 2009
Nathan Johnson Micah Johnson Isaac Johnson Sales Director Dillon Rice Production Andrew Piña Customer Success Molly Norton Market Sales Annie Weber Lead Developer Mike Morris Contributors Dan Henrickson Matthew A. Erickson Rolv Harris Cover Art Justin Redmon Logo Aaron Draplin
Construction has begun on Cannatown’s dystopian 420-foot-wide and 10-mile-long “Mega-Ass Grow” in the county’s Rezzy Hills Province. Recent drone footage has revealed a bunch of people digging a big trench in the pastures and foothills to begin laying the foundation of the growhouse, also known as “ e Chunky,” the rst to be developed as part of the $420 billion NEAT project. According to its o cial website, e Chunky is a “stonerized revolution that puts ganja rst, and then humans, providing an unprecedented place to hang out with couches and be with, like, nature." e overall aim of NEAT is to redene the concept of a stoner hangout, putting them “right at their source of happiness,” with direct access to other necessities like munchies and safe VR. e linear growhouse will have no walkways, no real equipment, except maybe fans, and the stu to make pizza and stu , and will run on a bunch percent renewable energy. “We’re going to put all the ganj into huge vaporizers and burn it for energy, and, all get high at the same time,” said project manager Allison Troy. “We’ll be 110% e cient, and, like, 1000% stoned, if that's even possible.” Built 420 feet above sea level, it’s eventually set to accommodate 420 people who will live in sporadically-arranged communes and have access to everything they need within a 2-4 minute electric unicycle ride. “NEAT is leading a team of the coolest, most stoni- est cadets in making this a reality,” Troy said. “People will wonder why civilization ever stopped living in giant greenhouses.” OTHER HEADLINES Bi-Annual Battle of Douchebags Begins A nation decides who will lead them into oblivion pg 150 Ye goes skeet shooting in nursing home cafeteria pg 157 "Person who falls o stages" injured at event pg 166 How to avoid showers pg 171 **Brought to you by underhead Real Estate** “A single, loud clap with every purchase.”
Online at CANNAPAGES.COM and CANNASAVER.COM 1-800-699-8169 info@cannapages.com Editorial | editors@cannapages.com Sales | sales@cannapages.com Copyright 2022 All Rights Reserved. No part of this publica- tion may be reproduced or reprinted without expressed written consent of the publishers. Every attempt has been made to ensure the accuracy of these listings and their inclusion. Cannapages does not accept responsibility or liability for any omissions or errors. Using cannabis concentrates can lead to: 1. Psychotic symptoms and/or Psychotic disorder (delusions, hallucinations, or di culty distin- guishing reality); 2. Mental Health Symptoms/ Problems; 3. Cannabis Hyperemesis Syndrome (CHS) (uncontrolled and repetitive vomiting); 4. Cannabis use disorder / dependence, including physical and psychological dependence. Note: Consuming concentrates via inhalation will cause immediate e ects. Concentrates aren't recommended for inexperienced users, and are not approved by the FDA. ey are not recommended for anyone under age 21 except by medical recom- mendation. Regulated cannabis dispensaries cannot provide medical advice. Cannapages is intended for readers aged 21+.
Vol 9. Edition 2
News from CannaTown
Page 7
CANNASCOPES : Discover Your Fortune! Aries - As you're about to discover, there are worse things than waking up teetering on a plank on the edge of a cli over the ocean. Taurus - is is the third time you've been pulled over, this month alone! Seems like you need to start driving frontwards again. Gemini - Your cat is an asshole for eating all those ballots, but at least they were for the other guy. Cancer - Looks like you’re gonna have to roll up your sleeves and kill two stones with one bird. Leo - Don't tell Aquarius, but the Stars just com- pletely pulled that fortune from a horse’s ass. Virgo - ere’ll be time for questions a er you’re booked, but the biggest is, did your Grandma know she asked to be picked up near a crowd of hookers?
Libra - It's actually all that chloroform that's making you sleepy, but you're right, the holiday turkey dinner sure ain't helpin'. Scorpio - You’ll never nd true happiness, but you will nd a fair-condition Jim Fregosi card--and at least eight people would call that a consolation prize of sorts. Sagittarius - Give it up. Nobody likes your puppet shows, especially not on the subway. Capricorn - You should probably be angrier to nd out your steak was 3D-printed, but it really didn’t cook any di erent on the radiator . Aquarius - Finally you will meet the voice in your head; his name is Milton and he's a singer. Pisces - While you sit in a pool of your own diarrhea, your ex, shouting death-threats as your landlord breaks down the door of your Section 8 apartment, you’ll realize, your parents f*cked up.
What Came to Pass News in Brief
Eco Protestors Bi It Again for emselves Environmental activists this week bi ed it again when they glued their gaping, open mouths to a glass wall-divider at a Cracker Barrel in Dankendorf. Police say ve protes- tors, dressed in oil-stained lab coats, a xed their faces to the glass in protest of the restaurant chain for "polluting the earth with gut-wrenching pseudo-food." Despite subsequent screams of excruciating pain, most of those patronizing the establishment paid little to no attention. According to the Cracker Barrel employees, the smell of the cuisine throughout the room caused ram- pant, recurring gag reexes that nearly sent one vandal to the hospital as he asphyxiated on vomit. Another cried as she shat her pants in front of the crowd. “I don’t know what message they’re trying to convey,” said one diner, “but it’s most certainly overshad- owed by all the groveling for help.”
Local man completely uninterested, pE7
Stories in Today’s Other Sections
DC Comics releases totally pitch-black full- length lm with no sound......................... E2 Now is the worst time to buy a $14.1 million dollar swamp mansion.............................. F6 Zuck’s virtual sex dungeon adds butts ......... ............................................. ........... ...... G13 Britain f***ed......................................... H1
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Dispatches from the Highlands
$4.20 Cents
Cannatown News Recession Coming, Rich Asshat Tells People Living in Tent City
A recession is coming, an annoying, obvi- ously unaware asshat announced at a solo press conference in the middle of the tent city on Dro Boulevard yesterday. Although uninvited, the bastard in a suit gathered ap- proximately zero watchers during his thirty minute address, in which he warned, things are about to get tough next year. “It’s gonna be hard to a ord a home, much less rent,” the stient jerko announced, “and grocery bills are going to start adding up! Be prepared to cut some non-essential things from your life, like that two week vaca- tion to the Maldives, or your summer home in the Catskillz.” e rich fudgepacker was likely referencing the economic downturn marked by a plum- meting GDP, record ination, mega-corpo- rate prots, and housing and commercial real estate bubbles, all of which, he said, would likely begin a ecting those living in tents and broken-down RV’s. And while the completely
out-of-touch pissant warned that food securi- ty was at stake for all Americans, he reected how the next couple of years would be the best times to make draws on equity or 401k’s to double-down on stock portfolios. “Take this time to prepare for the worst,” the shitbrained prick said in the near-deserted encampment. “Is that f*cker using a Powerpoint?” sneered one passerby on her way to the local work- force center. “If I could a ord some extra tomatoes I’d be chucking them at his head.” Although the feckless forecaster couldn’t give an exact time that world commerce would come to a crashing halt, he did point out how it would be just as if the hose was turned o , much like the sole garden hose providing running water to the bivouac. “Just imagine, you put your kids through Yale with this hose, updated your yacht, maybe even put in a second pool-- and all of a sudden it's turned o ," he said, "No one will be spared."
Vol 9. Edition 2
News from CannaTown
Page 9
Cannatown News
HIGH COURT ABOLISHES BATHTUB TOASTER PROTECTION BUREAU IN SURPRISE RULING
In a move almost nobody saw coming, due to landing audaciously beyond the realm of gen- eral stonerdom, a high court has decided to abolish the Bathtub Toaster Protection Bureau. Founded in 2010, the bureau had saved countless lives, following a decades-long scourge of toaster-in-bathtub related elec- trocution deaths due to deceptive and unfair business practices. One of the largest such incidents, leading almost directly to the bu- reau’s creation, was the sub-prime crisis of the late aughts, in which bathtub toasters were specically--and murkily--packaged and sold as a baguette-and-steak DIY-bistro. “Alas, they were still bathtub toasters at heart,” said Canngresswoman Representa- tive, Kali Losby. “You perch it on the bath- tub’s edge or nearby counter, plug it in, and then, some time during the bath, you die. About half of the people out there get fried.” In the old days, you could order a car, or house, or education, or bean bag chair from a catalog, always with the huge risk that you might end up back at home with a bathtub toaster. And especially for those in lower tax brackets, who had to take what they could get, most found themselves instead holding a bathtub toaster, if not several. “Probably nobody realizes how bad it was, now that we’ve had a whole decade living without them,” Losby said, “If you look at
death records, you’ll see that many victims had three or four bathtub toasters plugged in at all times.” e court, a group of three people who may or may not have been smoking hourly bong rips for four weeks straight, ruled that the bureau simply can’t exist because Canngress doesn’t pay them directly. “ e banks shouldn’t have to pay a dime for the bureau, it’s not fair,” said lobbyist Pembrake Garsehole, “ ey absolutely don’t have the money, since someone made them stop taking out overdra fees ve times per day from the poorest people in society.” It should be noted that many of the banks Garsehole mentioned were known as the worst peddlers of bathtub toasters in the history of humankind. However, the moment was not lost on one group: Bathtub Toaster peddlers rejoiced outright, both on social media, and in per- son. Even IDK Technical Institute reopened, o ering a new 2-year program in Quiet- Quitting at $100,000 per semester with loans at 86% interest. Every graduate will receive a whole semi-truckload of bathtub toasters. “ is is a win, not for the scam economy, but for the future of bathtub toasters!” said Ro- dinia Devilson, owner and CEO of BTElite, a bathtub toaster manufacturer. “Can we not all embrace the warmth and joy of fresh toast while you bathe? Is there no better way to go?”
Page 10
Dispatches from the Highlands
$4.20 Cents
CHRISTEMBER GIFT GUIDE THE HOTTEST SH*T OF THE SEASON CANNAPAGES reports on the most popular items this year
With high prices and shortages a ecting stores, this is the most precarious yuletide for shoppers yet! We've gathered our picks for the hottest--and smartest--buys of the season. Your loved one will nally love you back!
SEGUE SEABOT From the makers of the popular self-inicted wound generator for stoners, the Segue Scoot- er, enjoy all the fun of surng, with all the aerodynamic tackiness of an unripe banana.
THE NINTENDO WO As in, Wo man, everybody just slow down . LONG-DISTANCE GUILT TRIP BIKE Tell your loved one, I want you to have a big guilty pile of rubber and metal take up space in your garage for the next 10 years. Every day, you will look at that bike, and say, 'I really should ride it,' until one day it will just collapse in a heap and you can go repeat the cycle.
EARLY 90'S DOCOMO FLIP PHONE Back in the day, these were all the rage, and they're making a comeback, because, let's get real: it's the only thing any of us can a ord, and your loved one is just gonna break the shit out of the screen before the day's over anyway.
Vol 9. Edition 2
News from CannaTown
Page 11
FLUPPY HORNS Floopy and oppy and just plain cute, these so cuddly horns squeak and squawk just like a brassy alarm on early Christember morning. Play all three possible notes for hundreds of song combinations everyone knows and loves!
BREADHAT Don’t let them tell you this hat--made from a fresh sourdough loaf--is impractical in any way! Pairs absolutely deliciously with baked brie and apple. But watch out for the pigeons.
MAIL'UR GARBAGE SUBSCRIPTION From the makers of Stow-Me-Kwik! You don’t just have to put your old shit in decorative bags anymore. Now you can put it directly into "Mail'Ur's," at-rate shipping cans de- signed to be shipped straight to the company’s landll in Resinville. Give the gi of a weekly subscription: one can of garbage, picked up by the postal service, for just $50.95/week.
CAT SPACEPOD Help your feline explore his true destiny: in space! e all new cat-sized pods allow 2-3 day interstellar jaunts for the intrepid furballs. One size ts most Chonkers. Cat not included. OLDEN TYPEWRITER Tell them, I can wait to hear from you - with a brand old typewriter. Not good enough? Keep the ribbons until they ask about em' then pre- tend you thought they were Fruit by the Foot.
Page 12
Dispatches from the Highlands
$4.20 Cents
Cannatown News
Stubborn Train Rider Refuses to Step Down
Loyal Diggers Dig rough Ice for Dirt A di erent kind of ice shing is attracting fans again this weekend as some of the best known local diggers of the Can- natown Hole will take part in the Ice-Breakin' Bowl, a tradition dating almost back to the cre- ation of the Hole itself. e vast swath of mud will welcome audiences from far and wide to cheer on their favorite 'shovel-shams' as they burst through the frozen layers and keep diggin'! Gates open at noon, dig- ging begins at 4:20.
A train rider asked to depart a train car at line’s end, says he is refusing to step down. Claiming to be the victim of an ill-func- tioning public transportation system, a trenchcoated man asking to be called “Perkins” has been shouting at any crowd that will stop and listen. Meanwhile, o cials are quietly discussing how they might even get the train up and moving again, even with Perkins parked atop one of the few platform stools. “Our sentiments are o the re- cord, but our o cial statement is, ‘Screw this Guy,’ says cheef platform manager Jessie Nu - grass. “You can put it in print, or, we also made Tshirts.” It’s not entirely clear what Perkins needs or wants, as he seems to lack the ability to form coherent sentences or even form logical arguments. When asked what the problem was with the train he’d ridden, he began waxing about “aliens in
the ra ers” and “computer chips with vaccines in them.” Every- thing, he says, is a shadowing vengeance punishing him and his family by having the train end predictably and fairly, for him in particular. “ is is where the train stops for everyone else,” Nu green noted. “ is guy’s crazy if he thinks it’s gonna keep going just because he’s embarrassed to get o .” “It’s only fair man,” Nu added, telling Perkins to “get the hell o his soapbox.” A few train conductors are working out plans to move the train a few feet at least so that those who need to ride again can get going. But they are unsure how Perkins will react, once he cannot re-enter the train again without stepping down o the stool. “At that point, if he dies on that little hill of his, so be it , “Nu said. “We made a Tshirt for that one too.”
PETRI DISH OF BRAIN CELLS LANDS WEEK- END SHIFT AT GODFATHER'S A local petri dish of brain cells, long the topic of sci- entic news over the last year, has landed a part- time job at Godfather’s Pizza, having beat out an estimated 10 applicants for the slow-paced mid-a er- noon shi . Management will start the cells bussing tables, then will move them to the register if the cells take initiative, and live longer than 12 hours.
Vol 9. Edition 2
News from CannaTown
Page 13
ADVERTISEMENT
Yes, Virginia, ere is a St. Nickeljoint First published in the CannaTown Register , 1897
Dear Editor, I am 21 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Saint Nickeljoint. But my homie said, “If ya see it in Cannapages, it is so.” Please tell me the truth, is there a St. Nickeljoint? - Virginia O’Green Virginia, ose skeptic dudes are are wrong. ey’ve been a ected by the total drag of the downer age. ey do not believe except what they smake. ey think that nothing can be, which is not smake-able by their little bowls. All bowls, Virginia, whether they be men’s, or women’s, are little. In this great Canniverse of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, especially when medicated. Yes, Virginia, there is a St. Nickeljoint. He exists as certainly as sparkling ower, and hash oil, and keef-rolled wax-infused doobies, and you know that these things abound and give to our life its high- est, highest joy. And munchies. Alas! How big a bummer, would be the world if there were no St. Nickeljoint! As much a drag, as if there were no Virginias! ere would be no illustrious highs, no jolts through the atmosphere, bitzkrieg smack-dabs or ying through space to make tolerable this existence. e eternal bowl with which cadet-hood lls the world, would be cashed out, cashed ! Not believe in St. Nickeljoint? You might as well not believe in Rupert the Red-eyed Reindeer! You might get your homies to watch all the couches in town, just to catch Nickeljoint crashing for a few hours, then roasting a bowl before duck-taping Zip-loc bags full of freshly-cured cannabis upon the mantel--but even if they didn’t see this very spectacle, what would that prove? Nobody sees St. Nickeljoint, not since he gave all his clothes and belongings away on the Amsterdam river ats in the 80’s. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a Nickeljoint. e most real things in the world, are the things you only see when you’re higher than a kite and sitting in your own living room. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course you did, we all did, when the Durban Poison wax came through town. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders that are unseen, unless we keep smakin’ on that wax. Where was I? Oh, yes. Only a true, teary-eyed roast can push aside that curtain, to view the supernatural glory of cannabis beyond our wildest dreams. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world, there is nothing else that totally abides so hard. No St. Nickeljoint? ank God he lives and he lives forever, up in the Highlands! A thousand years from now, maybe 4 times 20 years from now, he will continue to make glad the hearts of cadets!
HEAD TO THE GREAT INDOORS! Whether you're bound for the cavernous beauty of a department store or hunkering down in the coziness of someone else's garage, Pataganja has all the supplies to get you through the night! - Discount Firewood - Used Matches and Fire Extinguishers - Nonthermal Indoorwear - Walkie Talkies - Bear Mace - Sleeping Sacks - Co ee Can Toilets Don't spend another trip without all the gear you need to get by. Indenite stay? Ask about our line of Nomadic Luggage! Only from Pataganja
PLAY WITH THE REAL METAVERSE! is is really cool! It's like a real metaverse you can play with! Don't call them toys because this is like real virtual worlds you can pretend to be in on your own oor. Each set comes with nuggersh and blunt roller, all part of this boredom-inspired fantasyland for the boring. From Heybro Toys
Vol 9. Edition 2
News from CannaTown
Page 13
ADVERTISEMENT
Yes, Virginia, ere is a St. Nickeljoint First published in the CannaTown Register , 1897
Dear Editor, I am 21 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Saint Nickeljoint. But my homie said, “If ya see it in Cannapages, it is so.” Please tell me the truth, is there a St. Nickeljoint? - Virginia O’Green Virginia, ose skeptic dudes are are wrong. ey’ve been a ected by the total drag of the downer age. ey do not believe except what they smake. ey think that nothing can be, which is not smake-able by their little bowls. All bowls, Virginia, whether they be men’s, or women’s, are little. In this great Canniverse of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, especially when medicated. Yes, Virginia, there is a St. Nickeljoint. He exists as certainly as sparkling ower, and hash oil, and keef-rolled wax-infused doobies, and you know that these things abound and give to our life its high- est, highest joy. And munchies. Alas! How big a bummer, would be the world if there were no St. Nickeljoint! As much a drag, as if there were no Virginias! ere would be no illustrious highs, no jolts through the atmosphere, bitzkrieg smack-dabs or ying through space to make tolerable this existence. e eternal bowl with which cadet-hood lls the world, would be cashed out, cashed ! Not believe in St. Nickeljoint? You might as well not believe in Rupert the Red-eyed Reindeer! You might get your homies to watch all the couches in town, just to catch Nickeljoint crashing for a few hours, then roasting a bowl before duck-taping Zip-loc bags full of freshly-cured cannabis upon the mantel--but even if they didn’t see this very spectacle, what would that prove? Nobody sees St. Nickeljoint, not since he gave all his clothes and belongings away on the Amsterdam river ats in the 80’s. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a Nickeljoint. e most real things in the world, are the things you only see when you’re higher than a kite and sitting in your own living room. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course you did, we all did, when the Durban Poison wax came through town. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders that are unseen, unless we keep smakin’ on that wax. Where was I? Oh, yes. Only a true, teary-eyed roast can push aside that curtain, to view the supernatural glory of cannabis beyond our wildest dreams. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world, there is nothing else that totally abides so hard. No St. Nickeljoint? ank God he lives and he lives forever, up in the Highlands! A thousand years from now, maybe 4 times 20 years from now, he will continue to make glad the hearts of cadets!
HEAD TO THE GREAT INDOORS! Whether you're bound for the cavernous beauty of a department store or hunkering down in the coziness of someone else's garage, Pataganja has all the supplies to get you through the night! - Discount Firewood - Used Matches and Fire Extinguishers - Nonthermal Indoorwear - Walkie Talkies - Bear Mace - Sleeping Sacks - Co ee Can Toilets Don't spend another trip without all the gear you need to get by. Indenite stay? Ask about our line of Nomadic Luggage! Only from Pataganja
PLAY WITH THE REAL METAVERSE! is is really cool! It's like a real metaverse you can play with! Don't call them toys because this is like real virtual worlds you can pretend to be in on your own oor. Each set comes with nuggersh and blunt roller, all part of this boredom-inspired fantasyland for the boring. From Heybro Toys
Vol 9. Edition 2
News from CannaTown
Page 13
ADVERTISEMENT
Yes, Virginia, ere is a St. Nickeljoint First published in the CannaTown Register , 1897
Dear Editor, I am 21 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Saint Nickeljoint. But my homie said, “If ya see it in Cannapages, it is so.” Please tell me the truth, is there a St. Nickeljoint? - Virginia O’Green Virginia, ose skeptic dudes are are wrong. ey’ve been a ected by the total drag of the downer age. ey do not believe except what they smake. ey think that nothing can be, which is not smake-able by their little bowls. All bowls, Virginia, whether they be men’s, or women’s, are little. In this great Canniverse of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, especially when medicated. Yes, Virginia, there is a St. Nickeljoint. He exists as certainly as sparkling ower, and hash oil, and keef-rolled wax-infused doobies, and you know that these things abound and give to our life its high- est, highest joy. And munchies. Alas! How big a bummer, would be the world if there were no St. Nickeljoint! As much a drag, as if there were no Virginias! ere would be no illustrious highs, no jolts through the atmosphere, bitzkrieg smack-dabs or ying through space to make tolerable this existence. e eternal bowl with which cadet-hood lls the world, would be cashed out, cashed ! Not believe in St. Nickeljoint? You might as well not believe in Rupert the Red-eyed Reindeer! You might get your homies to watch all the couches in town, just to catch Nickeljoint crashing for a few hours, then roasting a bowl before duck-taping Zip-loc bags full of freshly-cured cannabis upon the mantel--but even if they didn’t see this very spectacle, what would that prove? Nobody sees St. Nickeljoint, not since he gave all his clothes and belongings away on the Amsterdam river ats in the 80’s. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a Nickeljoint. e most real things in the world, are the things you only see when you’re higher than a kite and sitting in your own living room. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course you did, we all did, when the Durban Poison wax came through town. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders that are unseen, unless we keep smakin’ on that wax. Where was I? Oh, yes. Only a true, teary-eyed roast can push aside that curtain, to view the supernatural glory of cannabis beyond our wildest dreams. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world, there is nothing else that totally abides so hard. No St. Nickeljoint? ank God he lives and he lives forever, up in the Highlands! A thousand years from now, maybe 4 times 20 years from now, he will continue to make glad the hearts of cadets!
HEAD TO THE GREAT INDOORS! Whether you're bound for the cavernous beauty of a department store or hunkering down in the coziness of someone else's garage, Pataganja has all the supplies to get you through the night! - Discount Firewood - Used Matches and Fire Extinguishers - Nonthermal Indoorwear - Walkie Talkies - Bear Mace - Sleeping Sacks - Co ee Can Toilets Don't spend another trip without all the gear you need to get by. Indenite stay? Ask about our line of Nomadic Luggage! Only from Pataganja
PLAY WITH THE REAL METAVERSE! is is really cool! It's like a real metaverse you can play with! Don't call them toys because this is like real virtual worlds you can pretend to be in on your own oor. Each set comes with nuggersh and blunt roller, all part of this boredom-inspired fantasyland for the boring. From Heybro Toys
MEDICAL DISPENSARY 1 st TIME PATIENT SPECIALS
Page 16
$4.20 Cents
Dispensary & Deal by City
COLORADO SPRINGS Altitude Organic Medicine Apothecary Farms Best Budz Big Medicine BioMeds Briargate Wellness Buku Loud
Member pricing, challenge cone, 20% of non discounted non ower product 1st time penny infused preroll, 2nd time bogo shatter, wax, sugar 3rd time bogo live resin Member pricing x3 visits 1/8th @ $10 except for the "Artsy" Member pricing (20% o ) Penny preroll & $90oz Pre-rolled joint Member pricing which is 10% o Free exit bag
Canna Meds Cannabicare Dr Releaf
Member pricing, daily specials Member pricing, penny pre-roll 1st time 25% o , next 4 visits 10% o
Elevations Dispensary Emerald City Wellness EMJ'S Medical Dispensary Fire Meds
1st time quarter for $30, every $200 get $5 o $5 o , penny preroll OR penny calio sugar wax Member pricing & 2 free grams of ower with purchase. 15% o rst
Frost Harvest Golden Meds Good Weed Grant Pharms Green Farms Green Pharm 2 Grow Life Healing Canna
Member pricing Member pricing Member pricing 15% o rst purchase
Member pricing Member pricing $10 1/8 and or $10 g wax Member pricing, free pre-roll Member pricing Member pricing daily specials $10 1/8th/ member pricing Member pricing $25 store credit for signing over 10% o free exit bag $100 Gold Oz 10% o $5 o rst purchase Member Pricing 15% o Member pricing Discount, pre-rolled joint Member pricing Member pricing, $5 gram, free joint Gram for 72 cents Penny pre-roll Free gram with purchase Member pricing 10% o rst purchase Member pricing, daily specials $1 joint Come in and see us!
Healthy Leaf Herb's Place Herbal Healing High Country Healing High Hopes High Tops Jade Kola Kanopya Springs Living Rose Livwell Lux Leaf Maggie's Farm Marimeds Native Roots Naturaleaf Original Cannabis Growers Pure Medical Quality Choice Rocky Mountain Medical Strawberry Fields e 64 Store e Apotheke e Chronic Boutique e Corner Co Dispensary
Member ower & penny preroll Half price gram of wax or $20 1/8 Member pricing, free pipe and lighter Member pricing 20% o $75 oz Penny preroll 10% o and a penny preroll Member pricing $50 oz
e Epic Remedy e Green House e Green Source e Herb Shoppe Trichome Health Tweedleaf Vital Cannabis WTJ MMJ Supply Zipz
NOTICE: ese dispensary 1st-time patient deals are MEDICAL ONLY , may have changed without notice, and dispensaries are NOT obligated to give discount noted. Please call ahead to con rm special. Refer to listings section for phone numbers/addresses.
Colorado Springs, Pueblo, Trinidad, & Surrounding Areas Find the closest marijuana doctor to you online at cannapages.com DOCTORS 20
ALMA - WALSENBURG
Norman W Levin, MD 12 North Main St .............................................................................................................. Alma 719-836-1502 Gedde Whole Health Clinic 109 Brookdale (appt only) .................................................................................... Buena Vista 719-252-9132 Alpha Health Clinic 6035 Erin Park .............................................................................................. Colorado Springs 719-362-0646 Alpha Med Reg 2119 1/2 W. Colorado Ave........................................................................... Colorado Springs 719-473-6462 Diane Al-Abduljalil, MD - Medical Marijuana Doctor 4740 Flintridge Dr Ste 205........................................................................... Colorado Springs 719-330-4482 Doctors of Natural Medicine 5446 N Academy Blvd Ste 104.................................................................... Colorado Springs 719-212-8899 Go Green Cross 3100 N Academy Blvd Ste. 211................................................................... Colorado Springs 855-493-3337 MEDICAL ALTERNATIVES CLINICS 5040 Corporate Plaza Dr Ste. 3 ................................ Colo. Spgs. 719-246-0393 see ad on page 20 MMJ Exams of Colorado (Best Western Conference Center) 3730 Sinton Rd Ste. 219................... Colorado Springs 970-377-0500 Relaxed Clarity 3133 N. El Paso St. ...................................................................................... Colorado Springs 719-645-5955 Vibrant Health Clinic & Chiropractic 1526 S Tejon St ............................................................................................ Colorado Springs 719-216-8367 MEDICAL ALTERNATIVES CLINICS 3606 Morris Ave ............................................................... Pueblo 719-246-0393 see ad on page 20 Pro MDs 1726 S. Prairie Ave. ....................................................................................................... Pueblo 719-544-0009 Relaxed Clarity 503 Avocado St. ................................................................................................. Pueblo 719-354-5445 Family Medicine Clinic 100 West 4th St. ............................................................................ Walsenburg 719-738-1164
MMJ Doctor
With this coupon get one of the discounts below:
* $70 evaluation (standard 6 plant count) * OR, bring a coupon from another clinic and we’ll PRICE MATCH it + give you an EXTRA % off!
Industry - $60 evaluation (standard) Vet/Military - $60 evaluation (standard) 7 . . ... . .... Text to book your visit
5040 Corporate Plaza Dr. #3 Colorado Springs, CO 80919 Walk-ins Welcome!
Medical Alternatives Clinics
MedicalAlternativesClinics.com
Colorado Springs, Pueblo, Trinidad, & Surrounding Areas Find the closest dispensary to you online at cannapages.com KEY: DISPENSARIES
21
ALAMOSA - COLORADO SPRINGS
High Valley Healing 711 W Hwy 160 ......................................................................................... Alamosa 719-206-3345 La Casa Cannabis II 5986 Budweiser Way ................................................................................ Alamosa 719-589-3503 High Country Healing 2 40 S. Main St............................................................................................ Alma 719-836-9000 420 Green Genie 106 4th Ave ..................................................................................................... Antonito 720-580-0199 Green World Express 5230 Hwy 285 ......................................................................................... Antonito 719-206-3265 High Valley Retail Cannabis 315 Main St (Hwy 285) ............................................................... Antonito 719-376-5251 Ascend Cannabis Co 204 E Main St .....................................................................................Buena Vista 719-395-6226 Fremont County Cannabis 1505 Elm Ave ...............................................................................Canon City 719-275-1000 Maggie’s Farm 3055 E. Hwy. 50. Suite F .................................................................................Canon City 719-372-1014 A CUT ABOVE 1150 E. Fillmore Street.............................................. Colo. Spgs. 719-434-1665 see ad on front inside cover - cannasavers page 33 ALTITUDE ORGANIC MEDICINE 523 S. Tejon Ave........................................................ Colo. Spgs. 719-313-9841 6755 Academy Blvd N............................................... Colo. Spgs. 719-203-4918 2354 E Platte Ave ...................................................... Colo. Spgs. 719-344-5121 3840 N Nevada Ave................................................... Colo. Spgs. 719-445-0136 see ad on page 22 - cannasavers page 61 Apothecary Farms 3049 Delta Dr .................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-822-0420 Best Budz 3729 Austin Bluffs Pkwy .............................................................................Colorado Springs 719-598-0168 Best Meds 2606 W Colorado Ave Ste 200 ...................................................................Colorado Springs 719-375-5840 Big Medicine Cannabissary Dispensary 2909 N. El Paso St .....................................Colorado Springs 719-418-3854 BioMeds 2301 Rand Ave ...............................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-344-8289 Bobby Brown Best Buds 506 S Nevada Ave ................................................................Colorado Springs 719-645-8058 Briargate Wellness Center 890 Dublin Blvd. Suite C ..................................................Colorado Springs 719-598-3510 Buku Loud 3079 S Academy Blvd ................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-391-2858 Canna Meds Wellness Center 2218 Academy Pl ..........................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-635-6336 506 N. Chelton Ave ........................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-638-6337 Cannabicare 1466 Woolsey Heights ............................................................................Colorado Springs 719-573-2262 Doctors Orders 2106 E. Boulder Street ........................................................................Colorado Springs 719-634-8808 Dr. Releaf 2639 E. Willamette Avenue .........................................................................Colorado Springs 719-635-0929 815 Wooten Rd ..............................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-635-0929 Elevations Dispensary 8270 Razorback Rd ................................................................Colorado Springs 719-468-6337 EMERALD CITY WELLNESS 621 W Colorado......................................................... Colo. Spgs. 719-358-6955 see ad on page 22- cannasavers page 41 EMJ’S Medical Dispensary 2918 Wood Ave ...............................................................Colorado Springs 719-375-1907 Fire Meds 3615 E Platte Ave. ........................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-434-8817 Fountain Super Store 5421 Rio Vista Dr. .....................................................................Colorado Springs 719-394-8883 Frost Harvest Co. 1324 Garden of the Gods ...............................................................Colorado Springs 719-598-3860 Garden of the Budz 3178 W Colorado ........................................................................Colorado Springs 719-471-2839 Golden Meds 329 Pikes Peak Ave ................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-630-5075 Grant Pharms 320 Prairie Rd ........................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-387-1633 Grant Pharms II 1591 E Cheyenne Mountain Blvd ......................................................Colorado Springs 719-387-1634 Green Farms 3629 Galley Rd ........................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-424-7028 Green Pharm 2 4335 N. Academy Blvd Suite 100 ......................................................Colorado Springs 719-598-8245 Grow Life 115 E Garden of the Gods Rd ......................................................................Colorado Springs 719-635-1700 Headmaster 3410 N. Prospect Street ..........................................................................Colorado Springs 719-344-5021 319 Bonfoy Ave ..............................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-694-8000 Healing Canna (Bijou) 3692 E. Bijou St .......................................................................Colorado Springs 719-637-7645 (West) 22 S. Chesnut St B ............................................................................Colorado Springs 719-559-4180 Healthy Leaf 3715 Drennen Rd .....................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-216-5452 Herbal Healing 408 E Fillmore St .................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-597-0776 High Country Healing 1330 W Garden of the Gods Rd ..............................................Colorado Springs 719-531-7079 High Hopes 288 S. Academy Blvd. Ste C ....................................................................Colorado Springs 719-630-2137 4344 Montebello Dr. ......................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-593-7191 HIGH TOPS 1022 S Royer St ......................................................... Colo. Spgs. 719-473-0279 2306 N Powers Blvd.................................................. Colo. Spgs. 719-597-9333 see ad below - cannasavers page 43 Indispensary 3111 N. Stone Ave ..................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-473-6175
23 COLORADO SPRINGS - DURANGO
DISPENSARIES - CANNAPAGES.COM
M R B
Jade Kola 3750 Astrozon Blvd #140 ............................................................................Colorado Springs 719-434-1138 KANOPYA SPRINGS 2545 Platte Pl ............................................................ Colo. Spgs. 719-344-9198 see ad on page 24 - cannasavers page 45 Levity Wellness 426 W. Fillmore ..................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-266-5463 Living Rose Wellness 212 S 21st St ............................................................................Colorado Springs 719-473-9797 LivWell 570 N Murray .................................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-574-8443 3234 N. Nevada Ave ......................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-622-6652 Lux Leaf 2222 W Colorado Ave ....................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-999-5934 Maggie’s Farm 818 E. Fillmore .....................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-358-8849 1420 S Nevada Ave .......................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-328-0420 MariMeds 222 E. Moreno Ave ......................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-634-8285 Medical Cannabis and Partners 335 N. Circle Dr .......................................................Colorado Springs 719-799-0516 Native Roots 3660 Austin Bluffs Pkwy ...............................................................................Colorado Springs 719-528-7143 (Gas and Grass) 1705 W Uintah ..................................................................Colorado Springs 719-375-5512 (Gas and Grass) 1003 N Academy Blvd .....................................................Colorado Springs 719-550-0327 (Gas and Grass) 1433 S. Tejon St. ..............................................................Colorado Springs 719-434-7739 Naturaleaf 5875 Lehman Dr #100 ..................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-264-6337 1004 S. Tejon Street ......................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-630-7300 2727 Palmer Park ..........................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-368-7800 NUVUE PHARMA 2304 E Platte Avenue ................................................ Colo. Spgs. 719-418-3859 see ad on page 24 - cannasavers page 49 Original Cannabis Growers 2625 East Saint Vrain Unit A ..........................................Colorado Springs 719-475-9333 Primal 17 Iowa Ave ........................................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-344-5399 Pure Medical 207 W Rockrimmon Blvd Unit C ..................................................................Colorado Springs 719-264-0800 8025 N. Academy Blvd. .................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-634-7390 Quality Choice 2398 E Boulder St ................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-632-5667 1905 N Academy Blvd ...................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-632-5667 Rocky Mountain Medical 616 Arrawanna Street ........................................................Colorado Springs 719-337-6132 Rocky Road Remedies 601 E Las Vegas Street .................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-344-5325 2489 S. Academy Blvd. .................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-481-9420 4335 E. Platte Ave. ........................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-574-4230 Silver Stem 5156 Centennial Blvd ................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-308-2175 Springs Dispo 2845 Ore Mill Road Unit #6 .................................................................Colorado Springs 719-633-8499 Terps Dispensary 1000 W. Fillmore Ave #105 ............................................................Colorado Springs 719-635-5556 The 64 Store 502 W. Colorado Ave ..............................................................................Colorado Springs 719-602-0640 The Apotheke 2582 S Academy Blvd ...........................................................................Colorado Springs 719-392-1616 The Chronic Boutique 2727 Palmer Park Blvd ............................................................Colorado Springs 719-375-0745 The Corner Co Dispensary 430 W. Colorado Ave .......................................................Colorado Springs 719-465-1331 The Dispensary 2205 Montabello Square #101 ........................................................Colorado Springs 719-368-7606 The Epic Remedy 3995 North Academy Blvd ............................................................................Colorado Springs 719-434-2040 2712 E Fountain Blvd ....................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-434-6565 1202 E Fillmore St .........................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-434-6562 The Green House 410 S. 8Th Street Unit B .................................................................Colorado Springs 719-344-5996 The Green Source 975 West Fillmore Street ..............................................................................Colorado Springs 719-633-1300 318 S. 8th St ...................................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-635-9002 2103 East Platte Avenue ...............................................................................Colorado Springs 719-302-2032 1216 N Academy Blvd. ..................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-573-5665 The Herb Shoppe 3020 W. Colorado Avenue ..............................................................Colorado Springs 719-634-6337 The TreeHouse 34 Buchanan St ...................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-354-4983 Third Day Apothecary 4865 N. Academy Blvd. ...........................................................Colorado Springs 719-266-6699 Total Green 1125 S Chelton Rd ....................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-358-8865 Trichome Health Consultants 2117 West Colorado Ave ..............................................................................Colorado Springs 719-635-6337 1001 S Royer St .............................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-635-6337 Vital Cannabis 1675 Jetwing Drive ..............................................................................Colorado Springs 719-418-5320 WTJ MMJ Supply 1347 N. Academy Blvd ...................................................................Colorado Springs 719-646-8208 Zipz 3745 Interpark Dr ...................................................................................................Colorado Springs 719-375-5113 LivWell 1819 E Main St ...................................................................................................................Cortez 970-565-9577 High Valley Healing Center 116 S. Alder ...................................................................................Crestone 719-256-4006 Rocky Mountain Cannabis 420 Brontosaurus .......................................................................... Dinosaur 833-762-2837 Mountain Medicals 11505 US-24 ................................................................................................... Divide 719-357-9893 Colorado Grow Company 965 1/2 Main Ave ..............................................................................Durango 970-259-1647 Durango Organics 72 Suttle Street Unit F ................................................................................ Durango 970-259-3674 Medical Horticultural Service 789 Tech Center Drive ...............................................................Durango 970-247-4372
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