Check out our November newsletter!
All Family Law. All Around the World.
N ovember 2025
HOW TO BREAK FREE FROM LIMITING STORIES We grow up listening to stories. Sometimes, they are spoken out loud, and sometimes, they are just how our parents look at the world and filter experiences through what they know. These narratives tell us what’s possible, safe, expected, and even dangerous. Even though it often happens unintentionally, these her. However, they reinforced a negative idea that she gets her parents’ attention and approval by being negative, demanding, and hostile. CHILDHOOD SCRIPTS
Younger children cannot quite yet differentiate themselves from their parents. By the time we’re old enough to analyze the stories our parents created about us, we’re so filled with their vision that it feels impossible to observe reality. “We risk living by the limitations placed on us when we were young unless we can take the time to recognize them.” We can become more cautious and cognizant about the stories we tell our children. But we also have to think about the stories we were told about ourselves. It’s hard to know when we inadvertently impose stories on our kids because we filter those stories through our own prism, the one our families gave us, and even our cultural paradigms. Sometimes, it’s gender stereotypes we grew up with, like boys playing with guns and girls playing with dolls. These can be subtle, like girls should “smile more,” “not be bossy,” or “find a husband one day.” Boys “don’t cry,” “must be leaders,” or “man up.” Though we may have inherited these ideas at a young age, they may interfere with a child’s authenticity. We have to be mindful and process our ideas before we utter something. Break down the adjectives to see whether you really endorse the idea or whether you’re acting on reflex. By reflecting on the stories we inherit and the ones we tell, we give our kids and ourselves a better chance to choose the narrative that serves us. The more intentional we can become, the freer we will be from these invisible scripts handed to us.
viewpoints we inherit from our parents can shape us. Many of our fears, ambitions, and sense of self come from these early narratives. Children take them on before they realize they have a choice, and they can continue to steer how we see ourselves and others for years to come. November is Family Stories Month, and the stories we’re told often shape our lives and expectations about reality. We risk living by the limitations placed on us when we were young unless we can take the time to recognize them and determine which stories actually serve us.
I often listen to parents talk to their children, and I can recall one time when the family described a child as a “strong personality with an attitude.” The parents spoke about her in the third person as she sat with them, discussing how dominant, demanding, and almost dangerous she is. As they said these things, they did not think they were reprimanding her; they saw it as if they were paying attention to
–Michael Manely
1
Call for a Consultation: ( 866) 245-5685
G iving B eyond the H oliday T able With Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Hanukkah right around the corner, the season of gratitude has many of us thinking about meaningful ways to give back to the people we love and our communities. Giving thanks doesn’t have to be limited to the holiday table or under the tree. With a thoughtful estate plan, you can extend your generosity well beyond today, creating a legacy that supports your family and the charities or causes that matter most to you. can do the same for family members. You can also, of course, list your children or other family members as beneficiaries. SHARE YOUR WEALTH WITH CAUSES YOU LOVE
With a gifting strategy, like structuring your gifts, you can encourage responsible use of funds
Cheer for Charities If you are passionate about a cause or have a local organization or nonprofit dear to your heart, you can donate to them in several ways. You can incorporate a bequest into your will or trust that specifies a dollar amount or percentage of your estate to go to a charity of your choice. You can also make a contingent bequest, which will transfer your assets to a charity if the primary beneficiaries pass away, or a residuary bequest that will transfer the assets left over after your other bequests. You can also set up donor-advised funds that allow you and your family to direct funds to your favorite charities over time. Legacy of Love Having an estate plan or trust in place is a gift to your loved ones on its own, providing clarity and support. But other unique ways exist to give to your family in your plan. Just like you can select a specific dollar amount, gift, or asset to give to a charity, you
for specific needs like a child’s education or a financial safety net for a sibling. Consider including a legacy letter along with the required documents to share your hopes for the future and your wisdom with your loved ones.
With thoughtful estate planning, you can leave a long-lasting gift to the causes and people closest to your heart. If you want help giving to charities or family members in your plan this season, contact The Manely Firm to schedule a consultation.
When Holidays Look Different
Helping Kids Feel Secure and Loved During Divorce
The holidays are exciting for families, full of cherished traditions, joyful moments, and a special sense of togetherness. But if you are in the process of a divorce and the dynamics in your home have shifted, your children may have questions before the festivities begin. Though it may feel overwhelming or emotional to have these conversations right before what should be a happy time, talking them through holiday plans early on can reduce stress and reassure them. Set up for success. Make sure to talk to your children before the holiday schedule they are used to begins to change. You want to have this conversation in a quiet, comfortable setting where everyone feels safe to express themselves. Depending on your relationship, do your best to have both parents present and focus on your children’s needs and emotions. Keep a calm and loving tone and body language, and encourage them to ask questions or share their feelings. Focus on family. Your children may be confused by the changes and even afraid of what divorce means for them. Tough
questions may arise, like why the separation is happening. Be honest, age-appropriate, and empathic in your answers, highlighting that this shift doesn’t change how much both parents love them. Don’t argue or try to blame each other, because when children get caught in the middle of adult conflict, they experience a lot of emotional turmoil. You can remind them that you will both be there to continue supporting them and will always encourage them to stay connected. Include them in holiday planning. With the holidays approaching, your children may have specific questions about what celebrations will look like this year. Provide them with as much detail as possible, like what days they will spend with each parent. Explain that they can still enjoy their favorite activities and have new opportunities to create new traditions. Put up a calendar or schedule where everyone can access it. Just because your family is going through changes doesn’t mean the holidays have to lose their warmth and fun. Communicating with your children openly with love ensures they have a memorable season, even in two households.
2
allfamilylaw.com
This blend of cozy fall flavors takes minimal effort and is perfect for the season and holidays! P umpkin D ump C ake
Watching a child suffer anxiety is hard, and some children worry more than others. Some psychologists say smartphones, social media, and overprotective parenting have made it more difficult for an entire generation of youngsters today to manage their anxiety. Some 21% of kids ages 3–17 have been diagnosed with anxiety, public health data show. At its heart, anxiety is an inability to tolerate uncertainty and a lack of confidence in oneself to handle whatever happens. Gaining courage to face one’s fears and learning to endure unpleasant feelings without letting them control you are areas where children can greatly benefit from a parent’s support and guidance. If your child is prone to anxiety, it’s important to avoid the knee-jerk instinct many parents experience: to offer comfort and try to make things easier. Instead, acknowledge their nervousness and reassure them that feeling a little scared can be normal. Don’t engage in magical thinking by comforting your child with promises that they’ll pass a test, find countless new friends, or perform perfectly in a game or concert. And steer them away from comparing themselves with others, a habit that undermines their confidence. Instead, reassure them that they can manage the outcome, regardless of what happens, and that all anyone expects is their best effort. If your child is worried about tryouts for a competitive team, it may help to talk through what might happen if their anxiety about failing comes true. Empower your child to embrace two seemingly conflicting realities — they may feel doomed to fail a test, but those feelings aren’t facts, and no one can foresee the future. Reassure them that if they practice managing their fears, staying calm and collected will become easier. And model healthy responses to your own anxieties, describing your coping mechanisms and self-care strategies. The responses children learn as youngsters are likely to stick with them into adulthood. Taking a thoughtful approach to teaching emotion regulation tools will go a long way toward instilling resilience, flexible thinking, and other hallmarks of good mental health. HELP YOUR CHILD MANAGE ANXIETY S tronger in the S truggle
I ngredients • 1 (15 oz) can pure pumpkin • 1 (10 oz) can evaporated milk • 1 cup light brown sugar • 3 eggs • 1 tbsp pumpkin pie spice
Inspired by CookiesAndCups.com
• 1 box yellow cake mix • 1 cup coarsely crushed graham crackers or pecans • 1/2 cup toffee bits (optional) • 1 cup (2 sticks) butter, melted
D irections 1. Preheat oven to 350 F. Coat a 9x13-inch baking pan with nonstick spray and set aside. 2. In a large bowl, add pumpkin, evaporated milk, sugar, eggs, and pumpkin pie spice. 3. Stir to combine and pour into the prepared pan. 4. Sprinkle the entire box of cake mix on top, followed by nuts or graham crackers and toffee bits. 5. Pour melted butter evenly on top. 6. Bake for 45–50 minutes, until the center is set and edges are lightly browned. 7. Serve warm or at room temperature.
“Gratitude is when memory is stored in the heart and not in the mind.” –L ionel H ampton
–Sheila Manely
3
Call for a Consultation: ( 866) 245-5685
211 Roswell St. NE Marietta, GA 30060 (866) 687-8561 allfamilylaw.com
PRST STD US POSTAGE PAID BOISE, ID PERMIT 411
1 2 3 4
When Our Parents’ Words Define Our Limits
Celebrate Generosity With an Enduring Charitable Legacy
Keeping the Season Bright in 2 Households
When Comfort Collides With Courage: Parenting an Anxious Child
Pumpkin Dump Cake
Make Unforgettable Moments Right at Home
B eyond B oard G ames Unplug and Reconnect With These At-Home Family Activities
Sometimes, the best memories happen without ever leaving the house. In a world of busy schedules and nonstop notifications, slowing down at home with the people you love is more important than ever. However, “family time” doesn’t have to mean sitting silently in the same room, scrolling on separate screens. Here are some fun, creative at-home bonding activities that go beyond the usual board game night.
microwave s’mores, and get the giggles going with a game of Would You Rather? under your blanket fort.
DIY Movie Theater Pick a movie, create homemade tickets, pop some popcorn, and let each person take a role: usher, snack stand operator, director of pre-movie trivia. It’s a great experience, especially if pajamas are part of the dress code!
Family Cook-Offs Pick a theme: pizza night, taco bar, or “mystery ingredient challenge,” and split into teams. Whether it’s kids versus adults or a free-for-all, cooking together (and maybe making a mess) turns an ordinary
The ‘Yes Day’ Challenge Designate a day where each family member gets one “yes,” within reason. Whether it’s choosing dinner, picking a game, or deciding the music playlist for the evening, it’s a great way to give everyone a turn to feel heard and special. Story Time With a Twist Pass around a notebook (or take turns typing) and write a progressive story. Each person adds a paragraph without knowing what the next one will be. The results are usually hilarious and fun and make for great bonding experiences!
evening into a delicious adventure. You can even offer bonus points for a judging panel and silly chef hats! Indoor Campout Turn your living room into a wilderness escape. String up fairy lights, pull out sleeping bags, and break out the spooky stories. Don’t forget to roast marshmallows over the stove,
4
allfamilylaw.com
Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Page 4Made with FlippingBook Ebook Creator