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Family First WHAT MATTERS MOST TO ASHLEY BUSTAMANTE
Hi everyone, I’m Attorney Ashley Bustamante and I have been practicing law for over five years. It’s hard to believe time has flown so quickly. It feels like it hasn’t been long since I decided what I wanted to do with my life. Inspiration often comes from unusual places, and the unlikely source of my desire to become an attorney was the hit movie “Legally Blonde.” The film quickly became a favorite, and it helped me realize you don’t need to fit a certain mold to be a lawyer. Meanwhile, my family often complimented me on my argumentative skills. So, once I realized it was a real possibility, law seemed to be the perfect fit. After earning my law degree from the University of Florida (Go Gators!), I started working at a family law firm. We handled many cases for NFL athletes, and it was interesting to start my career in a relatively high-profile manner. I also briefly dipped my toe in transactional work, including estate planning and real estate. While that period made me a more well-rounded attorney, I quickly realized I missed the courtroom and handling the family issues I’d grown passionate about. There’s nothing more important than family, and the clients we meet are often experiencing the most difficult time of their lives. What I love about family law is providing comfort
and direction to people in their time of need. We can’t take all their pain away, but making their lives even a little bit easier gives me so much satisfaction. If I’d never seen “Legally Blonde,” I might have become a teacher, and the desire to educate others is still with me. Teaching my clients about their cases and rights remains one of my favorite parts of the job. It’s so empowering for them when they understand what they deserve and are legally entitled to from their marriage. I also love digging deep into difficult problems and finding unique solutions. My motto is “Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.” I’m always prepared to go to court for my clients if need be, but we want to avoid further animosity whenever we can. I like crafting creative solutions to help people resolve their differences without getting a judge involved. I also particularly enjoy doing appeals, and I received my appellate experience at the Fourth District Court of Appeal. In my short time at Bruce Law Firm, I’ve been impressed by the knowledge and resources at my disposal. The firm provides a lot of support to people who are divorcing narcissistic spouses. The materials the Firm provides help me guide my clients through the process with understanding and ease.
I also appreciate the firm’s emphasis on flexibility and work-life balance. I need it since my husband and I welcomed a baby girl in December 2021. Nestor and I met in law school and married about three years ago. In addition to our baby daughter, Adeline, we have two dogs, a husky and an English springer spaniel. If I have any free time, I like to indulge my passion for photography. But mostly, I’m learning how to be a new mom and enjoying every moment. As I look toward the future, I can’t wait to watch my family and Bruce Law Firm continue to grow. As I said, nothing is more important than family. Those are words I live by both on the job and at home. –Ashley Bustamante
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Teenage Self- Esteem vs. Social Media What to Know and How to Spend Time Elsewhere According to Mayo Clinic, nearly 97% of kids aged 13–17 years old use social media, whether it’s YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or another platform. Although these platforms come with major benefits — such as staying in touch with distant family and friends — it’s a good idea to keep an eye on your teen’s social media usage. Research shows that using social media more than three hours a day can increase risk of mental health problems, including anxiety and depression. Here’s why — or at least, a few expert theories. The Proven Risk Factors Social media affects everyone a little differently. For teens, thankfully, there are some studies about these differences. Beyond simply the number of hours spent on social media, there are other ways that researchers have noticed the negative impact of social media on teens. A 2016 study of more than 450 teens found that greater social media use, nighttime social media use, and emotional investment in social media (such as feeling upset when prevented from logging on) were linked to worse sleep quality and higher levels of anxiety and depression. It even matters how your teen is using social media. Is your teen interacting or only looking? A 2015 study found that social comparison and feedback seeking by teens using social media were linked to depressive symptoms. Additionally, a 2013 study showed that older adolescents who used social media passively, such as simply looking at pictures, reported declines in life satisfaction. In contrast, participants who used social media to interact with others and post their own content didn’t experience these declines. The Alternatives Instead of staring at a screen, encourage your teens to spend time face-to-face with their classmates and friends; that’s especially important for teens who are vulnerable to social anxiety. Remind your teen that certain behaviors aren’t okay on social media: gossiping, spreading rumors, bullying, or damaging someone’s reputation (online or otherwise). Even if these activities can seem harmless at first, they are extremely damaging and hurtful to the people involved. Face-to-face contact is one of the most promising ways to deflect the negative aspects of social media. Don’t miss a chance to give your teen the one-on-one time that they may need.
Close to Home Leaving the Family Home During a Divorce When you’re getting divorced, you and your spouse probably haven’t been getting along for some time. Once the papers are filed, the atmosphere will likely become even more tense and uncomfortable. The next logical step seems to be for one of you to move out. But is that wise? Many people are concerned that if they move out of the family home, they’ll lose possession of it in divorce proceedings. That isn’t strictly true. You still have the right to your assets whether or not you’re currently using them. But moving out may make you less likely to keep the property. Generally speaking, courts tend to prefer to maintain the status quo. If you’ve already moved out of the house, a judge is probably less likely to force your ex to move out so you can move back in. If you rent, you won’t have to worry about which of you will remain a homeowner. But there are still other factors to consider. Perhaps the most important is time sharing. Moving out of your home will not bar you from winning custody of your children later, but it might make the matter more challenging. If you’ve been spending significantly less time with your children because you moved out, the court might consider that situation in their decision. There’s also the matter of money. Setting up a new residence will cost you cold hard cash, and the middle of a divorce is not the time to increase expenses or run down your savings. Also, remember that you probably keep everything you own in your home — including countless financial documents. While these are now simpler to access online, losing immediate access to the hard copies could cost you time and cause difficulty. Of course, disregard these considerations if you’re in immediate danger. If you or your children are being abused, the most important thing is your safety. Forget about your things — get out now. It might not be easy, but your attorney will help you put the pieces back together later. And nothing you own is more important than your life. Otherwise, moving out can wait; always consult your attorney before making any decisions. They will be happy to discuss your strategy, address concerns, and help you find solutions that won’t break the bank.
Is your friend or client married to a controlling, manipulative, narcissistic husband?
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The book can be downloaded for FREE at DivorceInformationBooks.com.
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Step by Step Celebrating Blended Families
We’ve come a long way since most people thought of a family as a mother, father, and two children. Divorce, remarriage, half siblings, and extended family relationships have shown us a family’s structure matters less than whether it’s filled with love. On Sept. 16, we honor one of the many forms families can take with National Stepfamily Day. About 1 in 3 Americans has a blended family, and if you’re one of them, you have reason to celebrate. Stepmothers and stepfathers contribute so much to the families they’re a part of, but they still often get a bad rap in the media. Of course, there are bad apples in every bunch, but most stepfamilies consist of loving if imperfect people. That’s not to say the process of blending families is simple. Those who have done it know it takes patience and hard work. We love our biological children at first sight, but love in stepfamilies takes time.
Don’t beat yourself up if you’re still working on creating the family you envision. Keep working at it, and don’t be afraid to seek outside help from a family therapist. Meanwhile, it’s crucial to remain supportive if you have a child who is part of a blended family with your ex. You may not have gotten to choose their new family members, but they’re still your child’s family. Encourage your child to build relationships with their stepparent and stepsiblings, and be available to listen without judgment when things go wrong. Blended or not, no family is perfect, and we all have disagreements and struggles.
Finally, you can also do your part to cooperate and get along. You don’t have to be best friends with your ex’s new spouse — or your new spouse’s ex — but you should try to give them grace. Whether you like them or not, they’re probably trying their best. Peacefulness will serve everyone much better than resentment or bickering. Even though it takes work, the ties you and your children will make are worth the effort. Take some time to celebrate your blended family this month with a dinner, game, or small party. It will make everyone feel seen, appreciated, and accepted. Remember — there’s no such thing as too much love.
No-Fuss Chicken and Rice Soup
Inspired by RecipeTinEats.com
Fall is almost here, so it’s time to break out the soup! Your family is sure to love this recipe — it’s a classic.
Ingredients
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2 tbsp olive oil 1 onion, chopped
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1/4 tsp pepper
4 cups chicken broth
2 garlic cloves, minced
4 cups water
3 carrots, sliced
1 1/4 lbs bone-in, skinless chicken thighs
3 celery ribs, sliced
1 cup uncooked white rice
2 chicken bouillon cubes
Salt, to taste
1/2 tsp dried parsley
Ashley, Christopher, Rosalie, Rebecca, Sarina at a Family Law ethics meeting.
Directions
1. In a large pot over medium-high heat, warm the olive oil. Add the onion and garlic and sauté for 5 minutes. Add the carrots and celery, then sauté for 1 more minute. 2. Add the bouillon, parsley, pepper, chicken broth, and water. Stir, then add the chicken thighs. 3. Cover and simmer on medium-low for 30 minutes, then add the rice. Stir, cover, and simmer for 15 more minutes. 4. Remove the pot from the heat and transfer the chicken to a large bowl. Shred the meat and add it back to the soup. Discard the bones. 5. Stir, salt, and serve!
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Meet Attorney Ashley Bustamante! page 1
Is Your Teen’s Self-Esteem Dropping? Should You Move Out During a Divorce? page 2 Celebrating National Stepfamily Day No-Fuss Chicken and Rice Soup page 3
Introduce Dogs and Cats Like a Pro page 4
How to Introduce Your Dog and Cat HELP YOUR FUR BABIES FIND HARMONY!
For a quick start, try a face-to-face introduction. Many people will try a face-to-face introduction first, but you can do this after desensitization as well. Before the introduction proceeds, both animals must be calm. One person should hold your dog on a loose lead, and pay attention to the dog’s body language while approaching the cat. If your dog has been taught commands, have it sit or lie down. Dogs that are too fixated on the cat — such as staring at the cat, displaying stiff body language, and not listening when its name is called — may try to lunge and chase your cat. In that case, a desensitizing introduction will be needed. However, if the dog is relaxed, try to allow the cat to approach.
Everyone knows that cats and dogs don’t get along ... or do they? There are a few ways you can help encourage your pets to get along, but it starts during the early, crucial moments of your pets’ introduction. For a gentle start, try desensitization. Let’s face it: Your dog is way more excited to meet your cat than vice versa! However, your dog may react dangerously to your cat, especially if it is still a kitten. The dog’s prey drive may kick in, causing overexcitement, and even seemingly harmless
playtime can lead to fatal injury. One way to solve this is to “desensitize” your dog and get it accustomed to your cat’s presence. To do this, separate your cat and dog and only allow them to view each other at specific times. You could set up a room for your dog or cat (which includes food, toys, and, for the cat, litter box), and a tall gate that your pets cannot climb or get past. Allowing them to view each other without direct interaction can help them become accustomed to one another.
Another person should watch your cat’s body language. If the cat is calm — isn’t raising its back or hissing at the dog — it can be allowed to approach the dog.
A dog training technique known as Look at That (LAT) can be viewed on YouTube, which may aid in teaching your dog to remain calm when meeting new animals and people. No matter the method, we hope this guide provides important starter tips to turn your furry housemates into best buddies for years to come!
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