The cold wife with a daughter should beware.” Undoubtedly the Fairhaven report probably represents a fair national average in similar circumstances. One of, the most frustrating things is the dreadful fact that pregnancies are taking place more and more among unwed girls of a religious background, and often those who are church members. The following astounding figures are from a U.S. Public Health Sur vey Service, for 1962: “ One child out of every 19 in the U.S.A. is born to an unmarried mother. In 1962, 240,000 children were born out of wedlock in the United States. In 1962, teenage mothers accounted for nearly 150,000 of the illegitimate births. Of these, 5,200 were born to girls under the age of 15.” Admittedly, these are cold, brutal facts and very unpleasant to face, but so is the social and moral situa tion of our day. Dodging it is not helpful, and even facing it, without doing something to help change it, is of little value. What, then, can parents, ministers, and teachers do to help turn this horrible tide and save our girls from such tragedies? First, parents should read widely in youth and sex problems and come to understand the nature and needs of their young girls. Counselors face these problems all the time. Girls are constantly telling me in coun seling sessions that their mothers have given them little or no counsel in these matters. Often the best Christian mothers seem to have a horror of discussing sex with their sub-teenage or teenage daughters. When a mother waits till the girl is 14 or 15 to discuss such problems, she has waited far too long! Maybe this would have served a generation ago, but not today. Girls should have complete instructions in sex and morals and what to do to protect themselves by the time they are 11 or 12, and in some instances, even earlier. Do not press this informa tion upon the girl, but answer her questions as soon as she asks them, candidly, unashamedly. Sometimes a mother may start to discuss such matters with her 13-year-old daugh ter only to have her say, “ Ah, moth er, I know all about that!” She has waited too long; the girl’s mind may already be poisoned by alley chit chat and school-girl information. Second, ministers should be well prepared to counsel teenage girls and fellows in matters of sex and morals, as well as religion. Seeing what a large percentage of religious girls get into trouble, and often with fel lows of the church as well, the min- SEPTEMBER, 1965
and warnings about its misuse, would service to check many ventures and save the couple untold sorrow, es pecially the girl. Fifth, girls themselves should seek the aid of parents and their pastor or teacher in securing the best books to be read upon this most important subject. Reading is probably the sec ond best method for obtaining such information. The primary method is discussions with the girl’s mother; or if she is deceased, or will not dis cuss it, some other Christian mother may be helpful. Whatever else a girl does, she must make up her mind early in life that any type of sexual meddling, either with other girls or with fellows, is definitely OUT. In this day of grow ing homosexual misbehavior, every girl must be careful in her associa tion with other girls. The moment a girl tries to become too familiar or starts suggesting evil things, put her in her place without a second of hesi tation. Homosexual misbehavior, once started, may become a horrible thing in one’s life. It is often very diffi cult to fully break away from, even in adult life. Keep the mind pure, the body clean, the activities on the highest plane, and those with whom you asso ciate of the best type, and your to morrows will be filled with peace. There is a lovely wedding, a good husband and a happy home in your future, if you do not mess up your life for a moment of fun on your way toward it. Remember, there is no price so high as that paid by the girl who chooses sexual indulgence in any form. As certain as she lives, She must reap a bitter harvest some where down her lonely pathway. Make up your mind, then, that there will be no stork without a wedding.
ister needs to speak plainly in coun sel on this matter. Silence here may mean ruin to his youthful parishion ers. He should preach sermons now and then upon the problems of youth in the social, moral and religious fields. He should speak courageously and plainly about sex problems. Cer tainly, always he will maintain the dignity of the pulpit, but he must speak out on this most disturbing problem. Of the many young people who counsel with me in various parts of the nation possibly over half of them have definite problems arising from some kind of sex situation. To help them solve these successfully is to help them over one of youth’s rough est hurdles. Third, Sunday school teachers, es pecially, need likewise to be informed and prepared for this type of coun seling. Often the young girl will turn to the teacher when she will not go either to her parents or the pastor. Fourth, parents should also help their young people to find better ways of providing proper entertain ment, places to go and things to do on dates. Give the girls better in structions on how to care for unfor tunate situations which often arise while on dates, especially when two date alone, and in cars, the modern substitute for the older “ parlor,” or living room. Often the very fact of boredom leads to unfortunate situa tions arising between the dating couple. Sometimes, especially with younger teenagers, ignorance of the sexual organs and their functions lead to investigatory ventures, and hence into deep trouble. Proper and full information about all biological and physiological matters concern ing sex, with thorough information
A dedicated nurse encourages several of the girls at Fairhaven.
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