TOM AND MADELEINE ON THEIR WEDDING DAY IN 1970.
Julie’s Story Anybody that met my dad would tell you that he was just the most positive man, full of life and love and positivity, even when he got his diagnosis. My dad’s motto was that no matter what comes your way, you accept the cards that life deals you. Post- diagnosis, so many people would have been bitter and angry. But for him, life was still joyous.
even just by chatting, the Hospice team were able to gain insight into what he needed – whether that was getting support from the Hospice Occupational Therapists and Respite & Response team, or the Hospice Social Work team sorting out his community alarm. As the MND progressed he ended up being admitted to hospital several times, which clinically was not the most appropriate place for him to be. Through the support of Amy, we were able to engage with the palliative care teams at University Hospitals Ayr and Crosshouse, which eventually led to my Dad being admitted to the Hospice In-Patient Unit. Upon admission, so much of his anxiety about his care faded away... He hadn’t wanted to go back to hospital or a care home, and knew that there would be no better place to be than with the Hospice team. The staff are amazing, they got to know my dad – and our whole family – so quickly, showing a complete focus on what he liked, what he wanted from his care and using their resources and expertise to make things as comfortable as possible for him. Whether it was chest physiotherapy, fine-tuning his medication, complementary therapy or planning something tasty for him to eat, the whole team worked together to support him feeling as well as possible, for as long as possible. The attitude always was, ‘whatever doesn’t work, we’ll keep trying something else until it does’.
which they located just outside his room window. He was able to watch all sorts of birds such as nuthatch and blue tits visiting from the garden, such an amazing thing to do for him. A lot of people are fearful of accepting what’s coming, but my dad’s attitude was “I know where this is going, so I’m going to bloomin’ well enjoy every last minute!”
People should not be fearful of hospice care because it makes the absolute best out of a bad situation and I think we’re very lucky to have the Ayrshire Hospice on our doorstep. My dad loved Christmas and always spent it surrounded by us, his lucky family. This Christmas I know my dad would be so happy if he knew his story and experience could touch others. That’s why my family are supporting the Light up a Life Appeal this year. Please join us in helping this wonderful, vital local charity.
the exceptional care that she got from the Hospice that gave us all more time. My Dad dealt with my Mum’s illness and death so well – he kept himself active, he loved walking, and was always at the centre of his community; doing favours or running errands for friends, neighbours and family. However, during the Covid pandemic in 2021 he started to develop some symptoms which eventually led to a diagnosis of Motor Neurone Disease. Despite his diagnosis and the various struggles he was undergoing, he remained in our family home, with fantastic support from close family and friends, and for him life was still great. His attitude was “my friends come and visit me, I’ve got my beer and my Sky TV. I’ve got everything that I need.” Through a referral from our GP practice the Hospice Community Team got involved and Amy, one of the Specialist Palliative Care Nurses (SPCN’s), started visiting him. Sometimes this was just to chat, and my Dad loved to chat – he was a bit like Ronnie Corbett with his stories! However,
The Hospice team helped him make every moment count. The home away from home environment was so different from hospital, it’s lovely and calm, not gloomy or sad at all, and so many nice touches – my dad would say “I feel like I’m staying in a hotel!” He felt that all of the staff were his friends. They always knew what to chat to him about, his interests and his humour, it was incredible how well they got to know him in such a relatively short period of time. When dad passed away, the team were just amazing with us, the whole family felt their care and support. The Hospice is a unique gem in Ayrshire that we are lucky to have. You don’t appreciate how extraordinary that care is until you have to experience it – it’s next level. It’s as if the nurses and each member of the team are hand-picked for their roles, as they themselves are next-level.
One of my dad’s main goals was to make his 80th birthday and never one to want to ask too much of others, was happy just to have us around on the day. As a surprise, I had ordered a lovely cake, printed with a photo of him from his first day at work in 1963! However, on the big day, the Hospice team put on an amazing spread – sandwiches, sausage rolls, crisps, cakes – and my Dad just loved it, as it was the kind of thing he would have done had he been able. He spent the day surrounded by all 20 members of the family, his room littered with cards and lovely messages. Memories I know that our family will treasure. To top it off, knowing that he liked to watch the birds, the Hospice team gifted him a bird-table
Born in 1943, my dad worked as a purchasing engineer for a forklift truck company in Irvine where he ended up staying for his full career. He married my mum, Madeleine, in 1970 and they settled in a house amidst a lovely community in Dreghorn, where they went on to stay for 45 years. In April 2008 my dad retired, and sadly this was almost immediately followed by a Glioblastoma brain tumour diagnosis for my mum. She was transferred from hospital in Glasgow with an expected week to live before being admitted to the In-Patient Unit at the Ayrshire Hospice. She ended up living until the August of that year – and managed to celebrate her 60th birthday in the process. My Dad and I always maintained that it was
TOM AND JULIE ON HIS 80TH BIRTHDAY IN 2023.
December 2023 | EDITION 35
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